13 Year old Come to stay - UPDATE

kbh4031

Hi All
Sorry its taken so long to update you all
Nt sure where to start so much has happened :eek:

Shes been with us almost 6 months now and the change in her is unbelievable tbh...although we still have a looonnnng way to go.

Shes a much nicer young lady, shes respectable and doesnt tell social workers, police ect where to go
She started Main stream school Monday last week :j :j , Seems to be going ok so far although she is years behind her peers in all subjects Her education worker is going to bring me some study books so I can help her after school and hopefully she will get a tutor once a week.

She now wants to be a hairdresser or beautician a far cry from when she came and wanted to be a drug dealer
She also says that she wants to get a good job and home before she even thinks of being a mum :beer:


Dont get me wrong shes still very hard work but it now feels like theres light at the end of that dark tunnel I could see back in November

Shes also coming home and staying in when asked, although she moans like a normal teenager would The police no longer live her either !!! Im sure my neighbors thought we were up to something when she 1st came, they were here at least twice a week

Shes now having counselling and shes at last agreed to go for an sti check so we are taking her in school hols.
Her probation officer is also very pleased with her progress

The only thing that I havent been able to stop is her relation with the 24 year old :mad: I call police every week to see if they have made any progress with regards to charging this man with something...as yet nothing.
Unless they are seen together and reported or she makes charges against him, he will just continue to see her.
It amazes me how little power a parent has when this situation occurs, it still causes me many sleepless nights.
The workers that come to see her tell me that at least if something bad happens she now has someone to turn to.
Its ridiculous that I am powerless to stop it :mad: :mad:
My only hope is that as her self esteem grows she will see him for the no good **** that he is

Overall things are good. Im glad I made the decision for her to stay here, she doesnt appear to have rubbed off on my girls either, although they have picked up some street words that they think are funny

The final fostering assessment is in May to see if she can stay long term but all signs are good

At times I have cried with the feeling of hopelessness but the journey so far has taught us alot as a family and I hope the journey continues to be a success.
We are very proud of her achievements so far and hope that she continues to be as good as she can be.

Much Love xx

meritaten

OP - this is amazing progress! I remember your previous thread well. keep going, and in time, I think she will realise she doesn't need the 'boyfriend'. that he will only 'hold her back'. just keep doing what your doing. its working.

eskimo26

kbh4031 wrote: »

Hi All

We are very proud of her achievements so far and hope that she continues to be as good as she can be.

Much Love xx

Well quite frankly you should be proud of your achievements, yourself and your family have made a massive difference. If everybody helped where they could like this imagine the change in our society!

Btw i remember the thread too and I thought you would reach your turning point before she reached hers, glad you showed me lol.

The thing about some of these kids is that they want someone to say 'ok i'm paying attention show me what you've got' and even the ones that look like hopeless cases can really surprise you.

I hope if i make it as an occupational therapist to be helping in this kind of rehabilitation work. Not sure if you saw 'jockey school' recently?

Icey77

What a wonderful update
So pleased the situation is looking more hopeful!

I suspect the boyfriend situation will only resolve itself when she is ready to ditch him. This may take a while but hopefully she will see that she is worth more than this scumbag.

lostinrates

Oh k, this is super news.

I think many of us will remember your situation and have wondered how you are doing. I remain aghast that no action can be taken against the 24 yo, but so delighted for your prot!g!e.

Your family must be a wonderful one to be in.

busiscoming2

Thank you for the update. I've often wondered how you were doing.

Your family can be proud of themselves for making such a difference to this young girls life. I too hope she sees the boyfriend for what he is eventually.

Keep going! x

Indie_Kid

I don't remember the situation, but well done.

Toto

I too remember your thread. I wish there were more people like you and your family in the world. You have made such a difference to the life of this young lady. Before you stepped in she was destined for a life of misery and probably prison. But, now, between you she is in a place where she can see a future and can go on to make a difference in the world herself.


Good for you, be proud of yourselves but also of her because she has turned things around. Well done all of you, I hope things just go from strength to strength from here.

duchy

I'm sure you can see the change in her self esteem and that is going to be the key. In time she'll see him for what he is ........ and make a decision for herself in the matter....... or just decide a boy at school interests her more -either way at thirteen he's not going to be around forever . Thirteen year olds no matter how worldly are fickle and she has more choices now especially with going back to school.

Well done to you, your family and to her.

couponqueen123

well done i bet she feels so different and a weight been lifted off her shoulders

and not wanting to be a drug dealer great stuff

also this guy will hopefully get fizzled out with new school friends and boys her own age?

have u meet the 24yr old? im not suggesting you do this but i know i would have gone around there and made it clear if it carrys on there will be consequences

and remind him hes a pedo


like i said in yr situation im not totaly sure what i would do but sitting her typing i think i would have given him a near death experience .not sure how that helps but i take my hat off to you it must be so hard .

but it defo sounds like shes coming around slowly

Valli

Kudos to you

I hope things continue to develop positively; am so pleased that you are beginning to reap the rewards.