What to do with an intimidating mum in the playground

Counting_Pennies_2

I wonder if you can all give me some advice.


There is a particular mum at school who seems to be slightly out of control in terms of behaviour.


She fronts up to other mums on slightest issues. Her children are ultra precious and can do no wrong.


Myself and some other mums have over the course of a year had issues of her fronting up to them over very minor issues, both in and out of school and then creating intimidating moments when she sees us on our own as we all go about our day to day lives.


Me I have just smiled and looked through her as if she doesn't exist, not rise to the event get on with whatever activity I am doing.


This week she behaved badly towards my friend, I witnessed it from a far, and walked home with her after school she was really shaken up, but it seems to have stirred the craziness within the woman again, and has started getting intimidating again towards me.


I wonder if people have any suggestions as to how to handle it all. Today she stood in my way as I was walking through a door at an after school club, and I managed to side step into the wall missing her by cm but I feel she is wanting me to bump in to her so she can rise and create a scene.


It is absolutely hideous. It is a small community so unfortunately she seems to pop up everywhere.


To make matters worse she seems to be friends with an equally intimidating woman at school so the two of them together could be termed the !!!!!!


Any hints? I feel so intimidated but want to find a way of not reacting to her behaviour

Bluebell68

Hi
I am sorry you are having to deal with this kind of person
a bully she sounds like

can you just lift your head up look through her?
or smile as you go pass her
as if she is just not bothering you with her pathetic bullying ways

would like to say take her round the corner have quiet word :mad: with her don't think that would help tho:p

head up hunni she is the pathetic one she is the one that enjoys treating people like carp not you what goes round comes around, fingers crossed it will come around to her soon

love Bluebell1

wapow

You need to get together and speak to your local PCSO and also to the school head.

marisco_2

Apply an adult:child approach to this woman. Do not respond in any way when she behaves like a toddler having a tantrum, and encourage other mothers to do the same. You will be surprised at how much her conduct will have been noticed, and noted by any teaching staff who are out on duty. I am a teacher and trust me when I advise that, we don't stand out in the playground in all weathers, just to observe and supervise the children. This woman wants to be extremely careful about carrying on in such an aggressive and volatile manner on school grounds. At best she will eventually end up with a ban, and be informed that she can only drop off and collect her children from the school gate. At worst the school will start to contact outside agencies and raise concerns about her mental state and stability.

missindecisive

She is a complete bully by the sounds of it..usually they aren't as tough as you might think when given a taste of their own medicine.....

tom9980

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I wonder if you can all give me some advice.


There is a particular mum at school who seems to be slightly out of control in terms of behaviour.


She fronts up to other mums on slightest issues. Her children are ultra precious and can do no wrong.


Myself and some other mums have over the course of a year had issues of her fronting up to them over very minor issues, both in and out of school and then creating intimidating moments when she sees us on our own as we all go about our day to day lives.


Me I have just smiled and looked through her as if she doesn't exist, not rise to the event get on with whatever activity I am doing.


This week she behaved badly towards my friend, I witnessed it from a far, and walked home with her after school she was really shaken up, but it seems to have stirred the craziness within the woman again, and has started getting intimidating again towards me.


I wonder if people have any suggestions as to how to handle it all. Today she stood in my way as I was walking through a door at an after school club, and I managed to side step into the wall missing her by cm but I feel she is wanting me to bump in to her so she can rise and create a scene.


It is absolutely hideous. It is a small community so unfortunately she seems to pop up everywhere.


To make matters worse she seems to be friends with an equally intimidating woman at school so the two of them together could be termed the !!!!!!


Any hints? I feel so intimidated but want to find a way of not reacting to her behaviour

Nothing much you can do really other than ignore them. Trust me there are plenty of parents who have "precious" children who can do no wrong.

The fact that many other mums notice likely means the rest of the community knows all about her antics, so just be reasonably polite and laugh at her with the others behind her back.

Unfortunately my wife has to teach the letter writing mad hatter's middle child again next year. A few years ago this woman managed to drag a fellow unsuspecting parent to a "meeting" and was horrified and so upset she didn't take her child to school for weeks with the embarrassment of associating with her.

Do yourself a favour and stay away.

meritaten

if she behaves like this actually on school premises, ask if a member of staff could perhaps be on 'playground' duty, or that her behaviour is monitored in some way? if a few parents comment to the head on this mums behaviour - I am sure the school would take some action.

wapow

Wow.
Laugh at her behind her back?
Gang up on her?


Follow the civil route as advised above. Confrontation will not get you anywhere and neither will treating her like a child.


If any of you have the confidence to stand up to her then do so but be civil and to the point. You don't want to get into a slanging match because as you said, she intimidates you lot outside of school when youre on your own.


Even if one of you confronts her, she will think that ALL of you feel the same way and will go for the weakest of you and start to intimidate more. You do not want this.


Get together, speak to your local PCSO and speak to the school head. Do not involve a dinner duty or playground duty individual. Their job is the safety of other kids not the safety of the parents.

Mojisola

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Me I have just smiled and looked through her as if she doesn't exist, not rise to the event get on with whatever activity I am doing.

I think you're on the right lines. Perhaps if she starts on one person, several of you could come and stand beside the victim, not reacting to what she's saying. Either all look through her or all turn your back on her and stay quiet until she moves away.

As others have said, talk to the school about what's going on in the school grounds. The school will be trying to teach the children good ways to behave - having a parent giving a bad example isn't going to go down well.

[Deleted User]

I haven't got any useful advice but I have been reading with interest CP, I am having similar issues myself. Upsetting and unpleasant isnt it. Honestly I dread the school playground sometimes. Never thought I would say that as an adult.

jenhug

I find the best way of dealing with these people is to be nice. Syrupy annoyingly nice. They just don't know how to deal with it.