How do I contribute to this relationship?

Mojisola

Brallaqueen wrote: »

I am in a fairly new relationship and when we are together everything is great.

Anyway, together is great, fun and frolic and sore ribs from laughing a lot. We seem to mesh really well, having similar interests without being the same. BUT when we are apart I worry.

What do I contribute to this relationship?

If you weren't contributing something to his life, he wouldn't keep coming back!

Start living in the moment and enjoying what you've got. Why worry when everything's good?

fivetide

Brallaqueen wrote: »

He's always doing something or even several somethings at once. He's really expanded my horizons in the short time we have spent together - giving me reasons to drive new places, showing me new things and generally sharing his experiences with me,

This is what you bring. He is looking for someone to share his interests with. Isn't that entirely the point?

I'm sure he's not looking for a domestic so if he likes spending time with you then be happy and stop worrying!

bap98189

Your list seems very focussed on practical and material things. You bring company, conversation, laughter and friendship. Those are the sorts of things that will make a successful relationship in the long term.

justme111

You sound like every man's dream !

duchy

I think I know what the OP is getting at.
In most of my relationships I've been the organizer and the problem solver -in my current relationship my fiance expects to be and it has taken a bit of getting used to. I'm not sitting on my butt and expecting him to do everything but the balance is certainly different.

princeofpounds

you, it appears, offer perfect opportunities for him to be the person he wants to be. How excellent.

Absolutely this.

I am pretty sure that apart from the physical stuff, what he gets out of it is likely intangible things. Someone to talk to or listen to. Someone who is impressed by his bottle opener. Makes him feel needed and useful.

So if you figure out extra ways to contribute, that's great, but I would also suggest you don't actually stop 'taking' outright as that will feel like rejection. I know how this psychology works.

quidsy

Are you doing sexy times with him? if yes, then as far as he is concerned, you are contributing, well done, keep up the good work.

Brallaqueen

Thank you very much for your comments, everyone. I'm taking them all on board and trying to sortout how I'm feeling. It's all very new and I've been single a long time, so still feeling my way a bit in terms of this new relationship.

I'm still mulling things over in my head

Mr_Toad

Perhaps he carries the first aid kit because he's always cutting himself with the Swiss army knife.

I think you're fine and getting on well together.

Don't over think the situation, just enjoy it and be happy

heartbreak_star

I know I'm punching above my weight with OH. I've seen his ex-gfs.

But you know what? He's with me, not them. He loves the fact I don't try to change him, he laughs with me and doesn't get annoyed at the fact I'm hopeless with things like DIY but I try anyway, he loves that we go to the gym together and that I love his dog as much as he does.

Try and chill, he obviously likes being with you and that's what counts

HBS x