How do I contribute to this relationship?

Brallaqueen

I'm not going to bother with all that new username gumpf. I've posted on here before and this is not a wind up. / disclaimer

So, question is what it is. I am a little worried. I am in a fairly new relationship and when we are together everything is great. Not perfect - we are still firmly in the 'learning about each other' stage so missteps happen but nothing is done maliciously. The books and the films lied about all of it, too, which I am now discovering. Damn Hollywood!

Anyway, together is great, fun and frolic and sore ribs from laughing a lot. We seem to mesh really well, having similar interests without being the same. BUT when we are apart I worry.

What do I contribute to this relationship? Aside from a flat where he can stay over and a warm body, I sometimes feel like there is nothing I bring to the table. We earn the same so nothing there. He is very tech savvy and a bit 'swiss army knife' prepared - being outdoorsy and geeky and having a scientific bent he has lots of gubbins and things to hand just in case.

Lost the bottle opener? he has one on his key ring! An actual swiss army knife to hand too if needed! And a first aid kit in his bag just in case! And he really, really likes to help people!

He's always doing something or even several somethings at once. He's really expanded my horizons in the short time we have spent together - giving me reasons to drive new places, showing me new things and generally sharing his experiences with me, but an adoring audience does not a relationship make.

I'm at a loss and feeling a bit damsel in distress-y. What can I do to help me feel this relationship is not just all take on my part?

Tiddlywinks

Is it really all one-sided?

After all, he keeps on coming back so he must feel you have something to offer.

Just sharing time and listening and talking are some of the most valuable things you can give.... so, that is a biggy that he must appreciate... particularly as you are showing an interest in stuff he enjoys, and appear to enjoy yourself.

Don't worry so much - if you both seem to be doing fine then enjoy it... Don't try to second guess or put yourself down.

Anatidaephobia

I started to write a reply to this but the truth is I'm just speculating. If you really want to know why he's with you, then just ask him.

Dave101t

women worry. men dont.
best not to worry, if your sore from laughing, thats all you need.

duchy

I think most relationships have times when one person contributes more than the other in one way or another....over time and as need arises the balance changes so if it does turn out to be a long term relationship you'll get your chance to adress the balance later on. If he's content that your company is enough and he likes to be the problem solver .....I wouldn't stress.

Seanymph

If he carries a bottle opener then he is prepared and waiting to jump into the breech - you it appears create a breech - perfect.

there would be no point in him being with a girl who carried her own bottle opener, he wouldn't be able to go all bear Grylls on her - you, it appears, offer perfect opportunities for him to be the person he wants to be. How excellent.

Prothet_of_Doom

You laugh at his jokes?
What more would any bloke want?

BitterAndTwisted

You don't have to "contribute". Well, not in a practical sense, at least. If you enjoy each other's company then all you need to do is be there.

girlsmum

Sounds lovely to me, stop worrying.

He wants to feel he is looking after you, if you were opening bottles for him etc he might feel a tad emasculated.

Enjoy it

justme111

Erm I am not sure what are.you getting at , do you mean you should pay him for opening the bottles ?:D
Or you were meant to say that he is an interesting one with new horizons for you while you in no way changed his world ?

DigForVictory

Some modern girls would find all this male competence nibbling at their feminist independence.
Or just wouldn't put up with his every day carry toolkit.
Or wouldn't find his jokes funny.

You're there & laughing - and he keeps coming back. You contribute something even if neither of you can quite put it into words.
(Dratted Hollywood!)