Issue raised by nursery key worker

2

Comments

  • MrsSippi
    MrsSippi Posts: 287 Forumite
    theoretica wrote: »
    How much time in the week does she spend in nursery? If she goes for a morning a week then she will obviously be seeing less of other children than if she goes part of every weekday.

    The idea that children get divided up into groups of kids exactly their age is a very recent one. Centuries ago an extended family or village group of children would have included all ages, so you might want to also think about any friends you want to spend time with who have with children of different ages.

    Thanks for the further replies. She attends for 3 full days a week. I think, having put it in perspective, she will be fine. She is a very sociable child and while she may not yet have a 'group' of friends, what 3 year old does? I would expect that to happen more when she starts school. She is a happy soul so that is all I am concerned with. Also, I have known children of a similar age (and older) who do attend all the 'right' baby groups, playgroups, mixing with their peers a lot more etc and they turn out to be very spiteful with other children.
  • Make-it-3
    Make-it-3 Posts: 1,661 Forumite
    While nursery have never described my child as a follower or a leader - (at 3 yrs they are only just beginning to really interact with each other) everything else you describe could be me/my DD to a T. As an only child she is also very good a interacting with adults and I've been told this is common with only children. She has always been ahead of her peers communication wise and I think sometimes she looks at them with bemusement that they don't understand her or she them.

    Really wouldn't worry tho, sounds like she is doing fabulous.
    We Made-it-3 on 28/01/11 with birth of our gorgeous DD.
  • I work in an Early Years class and I can tell you that most 3 yr olds 'parallel play' which means that they play, but don't play with other children, but alongside them. They will progress to this as they get older. Some children just prefer to stand and observe for a few months before they feel the need or develop the confidence to play 'with' other children. She will be busy observing and learning from those around her and when she's ready she'll join in. A great deal is happening to her at the moment as she'll be learning new social skills from her peers and from adults around her. The fact that she likes to be with adults is a sign that she is used to being able to trust the adults in her life and so feels comfortable with them. We expect an awful lot from our little ones......in other countries they don't send their children to school until they are seven as they think they are not developmentally ready to cope until then. Anyway....I can think of lots of children in our class who love adult attention and who don't really 'play' with others yet so I just thought I'd let you know. :)
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
    MrsSippi wrote: »
    She is a very sociable child and while she may not yet have a 'group' of friends, what 3 year old does?

    Mine does. She has a very very close group of 5 NCT friends and 3 "best friends" from the playgroup she attends 4 mornings a week.
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • duchy
    duchy Posts: 19,511
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    Best friends is your concept not hers though !
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  • pelirocco
    pelirocco Posts: 8,274
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    duchy wrote: »
    Best friends is your concept not hers though !


    Well said

    and wait until she is a teenager lol, when being a girl and having friends is a huge roller coaster of highs and lows :(


    Op i wouldnt worry about it , my neice is an only child with super intelligent , but laid back horizontal parents :D She iteracted with adults a lot when she was young but would talk to anyone . She is now 13 , very bright very social very popular and not at all disavantaged , plus shock horror she didnt go to nursery and my brother was a stay at home dad

    And imagine a world if everyone was a leader:rotfl:
    Vuja De - the feeling you'll be here later
  • notanewuser
    notanewuser Posts: 8,499 Forumite
    duchy wrote: »
    Best friends is your concept not hers though !

    She didn't get it from me! She tells me they're her best friends. Nursery staff tell me they're inseparable.
    Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman
  • Janepig
    Janepig Posts: 16,780 Forumite
    We expect an awful lot from our little ones......in other countries they don't send their children to school until they are seven as they think they are not developmentally ready to cope until then.

    We see this sort of quote quite alot on these boards when we discuss topics around early years schooling, very often, it seems to me, as a stick with which to beat working parents, or at the very least make them feel even more guilty than they do already. It implies that these children in "other countries" spend every waking minute with their mother until the age of seven which is untrue. They spend time in just the sort of setting the OP has described while their parents work.

    My two children started full time school at 3, in the nursery section of their school and the curriculum, up until the end of year 2 when they are preparing to go to Juniors, is very much one of learning through play. It's hardly A Level standard stuff, and much less academic than when I was in infant school back in the <cough> 1970's :o<cough> sitting at desks in rows learning from the blackboard. How deprived I was!
    Mine does. She has a very very close group of 5 NCT friends and 3 "best friends" from the playgroup she attends 4 mornings a week.

    DD was very much as the OP describes her child, happy with her own company, although eventually staff at the day nursery she went to for part of the week did report that she had a friend she was very close to and they would walk around holding hands. She's still much the same now, she has friends but is happy in her own company.

    DS is completely different, he has had the same best friend since the age of six months when they were at day nursery together - he even caught chicken pox off him when he gave him a kiss goodbye one day at the age of 2 :D. They're in school together now (year 3) and still thick as thieves. He's also got my cousin's boy who is the same age as him and in the same class and they've been best friends since they were babies and he's always loved the company of other children.

    Jx
    And it looks like we made it once again
    Yes it looks like we made it to the end
  • MrsSippi
    MrsSippi Posts: 287 Forumite
    Thanks so much for all the replies. I think I had a bit of a wobble after I went to the parents evening and wondered if I was hindering my daughter's development somehow! Since then though I've realised (as most people have said) that she is perfectly happy and that is obviously my main concern. She is an only child at the moment so perhaps it is not surprising she veers more towards adults as that is what she is used to. I am glad also that by attending nursery she does have the opportunity to mix with others her own age which will hopefully stand her in good stead for when she starts school.
  • Having had 3 (two of whom have peer friends, and one of whom out of choice doesnt) I would say that the birthday party suggestion (write on the invite that parents will be catered for and you would like them to stay) gives you a great opportunity to meet parents and gives you a good insight in to which kids you'd like your child to mix with (yeah, yeah, kill me - I'm a snob).
    It's really not a problem though, that your child is happy to not socialise in her own age group. If you're made to feel that way then it's usually by an over zealous and newly trained play group person.
    AD March 2014
    rebuilding my life :grinheart
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