help needed about my older son dont know who to ask or what to do?

Gingerjar

Your elder son sounds like a thoughtful kind young man which is a great credit to you. Move into a nice warm house which will benefit you and your younger child. As others have mentioned, if need be, he can share with his brother or kip on the sofa if need be.

Enjoy your new home (and hopefully better health)

alliboy03

koan wrote: »

I do understand your concerns. There's no guarantee that your son will be able to get a job and a flat straight after graduating, so he might need somewhere to stay. I guess you'll have to weigh up the options. How long do you think you can stay in your current house given that it's cold and draughty and has no downstairs loo?

Hi there thank you for your kind reply. I have already managed to live here nearly 4 years:eek:.
Everyone's comments are putting my situation into perspective:)

I have m.e with a possible prolapsed disc and many other health problems. Even though this winter was milder than the last I really need to be in a newer build house were all my needs are catered for. I have decided to downsize and will be contacting the council on monday.

carefullycautious

A warm home above all else I would say.

alliboy03

Gingerjar wrote: »

Your elder son sounds like a thoughtful kind young man which is a great credit to you. Move into a nice warm house which will benefit you and your younger child. As others have mentioned, if need be, he can share with his brother or kip on the sofa if need be.

Enjoy your new home (and hopefully better health)

Thank you very much for your reply:). He's a lovely son never brings trouble to my door and has made sure for many years to keep studying hard. In whatever he has done. He really is a credit to me but all the while he was at school while other parents would boast about how wonderful there children were I never partook in it. Now he's the only one out of all his friends who stuck at studying. His friends parents are all gobsmacked. But ive never been a boaster and i'm always grateful for how well my children do in things as it takes the pressure of me being ill.:)

alliboy03

carefullycautious wrote: »

A warm home above all else I would say.

Yes you are right as the cold makes my condition worse.:(

Brighton_belle

I think you are making a good decision alliboy. You own son thinks that is what you should do too, so he is a caring and forward thinking young man. He will never feel overlooked because you discussed the situation with him and he has urged you to downsize for your health.


When coping with ME, and other debilitating health issues I think every little positive thing helps your over all wellbeing, so easier and warmer living conditions can only be a very positive thing.

Mrs_Soup

I would go for the two bed and improve your quality of life. Should the situation arise where your older son has to come back and live with you, you could put the two boys together in the large room of whatever place you get.

AlexLK

What is your son going to do in the summer? As he's in his second year, I presume he will be planning to come home in the summer then go back to university for his third year at the end of September? As I presume you are not financially supporting your son, what will he do if he doesn't find a job straight after his third year? Or what if he decides to do a Masters?

Whilst I understand your wish to move and have taken your son's opinion into consideration, I know at 20 years old I didn't have a clue how the world worked.

chiefpossession

I would downsize. My eldest son is in his second year at uni like yours and has already said that he doesn't want to come back here to live - he loves his university town. We intend doing some reorganisation of the rooms and he will have a nice sofa bed when he comes home to visit. He is happy with this.

I was worried that I was effectively saying that he doesn't live here any more but one of my friends persuaded me to change how I saw it. She sees students who return home get too comfortable - and end up staying for ages waiting for their 'perfect' job. By renting in shared houses, doing multiple jobs to pay the rent and get by they actually work harder to get up the jobs ladder, getting more experience as they do.

You son sounds great - totally got his head screwed on and behaving like an adult. You should be very proud!

Better_Days

I have ME too and struggle to cope with both cold and stairs. As you know already limited functioning can be impaired by putting further stressing your body. My worry would be that trying to continue to cope with cold and stairs could result in a permanent decline in functioning.

This will impact negatively on your quality of life and that of your younger son. Also the level of damp you describe can be doing nothing for the health of you both. I really do think it would be best to move into a 2 bed house. In the meantime can you afford an electric blanket - they are currently cheap as chips (nearly) at Tesco - and are very cheap to run. I have found an electric blanket a great way to warm up when I get cold http://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/silentnight-king-electric-blanket-7-instore-tesco-was-30-1857706