I'm going insane!

LondonGal

I assume you have a Consultant Psychiatrist? I think for this sort of mental health condition a psychologist is often more useful. There is lots that can be done in terms of CBT and Mindfulness which will help you learn to live with your condition. Sadly, much as I wish I could tell you otherwise, there is no magic panacea, it's something you need time to learn about and learn techniques for living with it as best you can.

dancingfairy

Exposure therapy can help some people but I thought you started on easier things and gradually worked up to really hard things?
Have you thought about hypnotherapy?
I agree that adjusting your medication may well help as well. You need to get in touch with your doctor and ask to be referred to a different therapist / for a different therapy type and to get your medicines reviewed.
Are there any hobbies/interests you have? It's good to try and focus on other things. Any support groups in your area?
It's strange, having other things to focus on can really help.
Oh, you are definitely not going insane I promise and I appreciate that no matter how many times people tell you that it won't kill you that it won't sink in.
I don't think you ever can cure OCD but you can learn to live with it and keep it mostly under control. I certainly wouldn't blame you for avoiding homeless people and syringes and in fact you could live a normal life avoiding these things (and charity shops, and cemmetries, and bins/bin men, and dogs mess and holly ).
Relaxation as well might help, to try and switch off.
I'd keep a diary and try and do one little tiny thing to overcome your fear every day, even if it's just opening your door and walking to the gate. If you keep taking baby steps you will get there.
Mind do some really good leaflets and there's lot of books out there (maybe e books if you can't face real ones) .
df

sausageandbeans

Yorkie1 wrote: »

OP, have you ever been offered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

I think it's been helpful for quite a few people who live with OCD as it helps to reduce the anxiety surrounding the thoughts and compulsions.

I did have a 6 week stint about 2 years ago that was helpful but it is very much underfunded.:(

I also had one more recently but she was still in University and was a trainee. It never helped.

paulineb_2

sausageandbeans wrote: »

It's crept on me over the years. At the age of 18 - 26 years ago a young girl performed a 'bill clinton on me' (sorry for the detail) and it was in the height of the AIDS adverts. I thought I'd caught it and couldn't believe how naive I'd been. Then whilst in work I came across asbestos on a wall in the 1990's. Ever since every wall and ceiling has been full of asbestos. Then I sat next to a somebody who looked like a drug addict and I stressed that I'd been stabbed with a syringe . This is what sent me over the edge 9 years ago.

Now I can't go near black people, gay people, drug addicts, homeless people, old buildings, skips, hospitals (radiation) and I'm not even safe in my own home.

And by the way I do not hate black and gay people I just feel that they are high risk. It is me who is at fault not them.

What do you think black people and gay people are high risk of?
Are you talking about HIV and AIDS specifically?

sausageandbeans

dancingfairy wrote: »

Exposure therapy can help some people but I thought you started on easier things and gradually worked up to really hard things?
Have you thought about hypnotherapy?
I agree that adjusting your medication may well help as well. You need to get in touch with your doctor and ask to be referred to a different therapist / for a different therapy type and to get your medicines reviewed.
Are there any hobbies/interests you have? It's good to try and focus on other things. Any support groups in your area?
It's strange, having other things to focus on can really help.
Oh, you are definitely not going insane I promise and I appreciate that no matter how many times people tell you that it won't kill you that it won't sink in.
I don't think you ever can cure OCD but you can learn to live with it and keep it mostly under control. I certainly wouldn't blame you for avoiding homeless people and syringes and in fact you could live a normal life avoiding these things (and charity shops, and cemmetries, and bins/bin men, and dogs mess and holly ).
Relaxation as well might help, to try and switch off.
I'd keep a diary and try and do one little tiny thing to overcome your fear every day, even if it's just opening your door and walking to the gate. If you keep taking baby steps you will get there.
Mind do some really good leaflets and there's lot of books out there (maybe e books if you can't face real ones) .
df

Thankyou. It's funny you say real books. I can't even buy second hand books because I don't know where they've been. I feel a prisoner.

I know it's the small steps that will do it. The sad thing is I'm quite educated. Even have a degree with law. It's just my mind that seems to think I'm at risk.

Thanks for those that believe me.

sausageandbeans

paulineb wrote: »

What do you think black people and gay people are high risk of?
Are you talking about HIV and AIDS specifically?

Yes. I know this might sound ridiculous but I drove through McDonalds last week because a gay person had my food. I couldn't even hand the money over.

Can I just reiterate that I have nothing but sympathy for those with hiv.aids. I'm just absolutely petrified about certain situations. Say they had a tiny cut on their hand and I did too.

sausageandbeans

LondonGal wrote: »

I assume you have a Consultant Psychiatrist? .

Sadly no. I just get repeat prescriptions through my GP. When times get really tough I take a few more to knock me out. My GP is quite good with sleeping tablets too as the stress keeps me awake at times.

paulineb_2

sausageandbeans wrote: »

Yes. I know this might sound ridiculous but I drove through McDonalds last week because a gay person had my food. I couldn't even hand the money over.

Can I just reiterate that I have nothing but sympathy for those with hiv.aids. I'm just absolutely petrified about certain situations. Say they had a tiny cut on their hand and I did too.

Surely you know that heterosexual people get HIV and AIDs as well?
One of the biggest percentages of people diagnosed with HIV are those who have heterosexual sex.

And the number of people who get HIV from injecting drugs is very low, around 2 per cent of new cases in 2012 were due to injecting drug use.

http://www.avert.org/hiv-aids-uk.htm

sausageandbeans

I do. But you must also know that there is a higher percentage of hiv amongst Gay and Black People than white hetrosexuals.

My issue isn't with them. I am just scared.

marisco_2

When you’re experiencing OCD thoughts and urges, have you tried shifting your attention to something else? If not then could you consider exercise, jogging, walking, listening to music, reading, surfing the web, playing a game, making a phone call or cooking? Find something to do that you enjoy for at least 15 minutes, in order to delay your response to the obsessive thought or compulsion.

At the end of the delaying period, reassess the urge. It may be that the urge will no longer be quite as intense. Try delaying for a longer period. The longer you can delay the urge, the more it will likely change.