I'm going insane!

sausageandbeans

I need some help please. Since I was little I have suffered from mental health issues. These went undiagnosed until about 9 years ago at the age of 35 when I suffered a breakdown. However even then I was just sedated and never spent a stay in hospital.

I have been on Anti depressents and OCD medication since but it seems to be getting worse. I have seen two therapists.

My depression and OCD centers on germs, asbestos, fear of getting and having an illness, radiation. I really can't go on like this. I can't work and I'm like a hermit in my own home. It's causing really serious issues with my relationship.

I really can't see the point in living. This isn't a 'I'm going to kill myself thread' it's just a plea for advice of how I can overcome this. I scrub when I get home. I think my home is full of asbestos although I've had a surveyor around who confirms that the areas he inspected were free of it. I can't go near old watches because some of the dials are radioactive.

I'm not being a troll. I've been on here about 8 years but because of the subject I can't go under my own name.:(

Tahlullah

Hi sausageandbeans. I have no words of wisdom, but send you my best wishes. Tx

koan_2

Take a look at some of the books in the Overcoming... series. I think there is an Overcoming OCD book. Might be worth a try?

Mindfulness practice is also very helpful. if you have access to YouTube you will find some good videos on there about mindfulness and living in the present moment.

People do get over OCD, please don't give up hope.

marisco_2

sausageandbeans wrote: »

My depression and OCD centers on germs, asbestos, fear of getting and having an illness, radiation.

Can you pinpoint when all this started and what may have triggered it? It could be a good idea to speak with your gp, explain how you are feeling and seek their advice on changing or adjusting the medication you take. What professional support is available to you? Would an appropriate form of counselling be of any benefit? That you recognise there is a problem and clearly wish to try anything to resolve it is a real positive. So many suffering as you are cant or wont address things and gradually get worse. I wish you all the best.

sausageandbeans

It's crept on me over the years. At the age of 18 - 26 years ago a young girl performed a 'bill clinton on me' (sorry for the detail) and it was in the height of the AIDS adverts. I thought I'd caught it and couldn't believe how naive I'd been. Then whilst in work I came across asbestos on a wall in the 1990's. Ever since every wall and ceiling has been full of asbestos. Then I sat next to a somebody who looked like a drug addict and I stressed that I'd been stabbed with a syringe . This is what sent me over the edge 9 years ago.

Now I can't go near black people, gay people, drug addicts, homeless people, old buildings, skips, hospitals (radiation) and I'm not even safe in my own home.

And by the way I do not hate black and gay people I just feel that they are high risk. It is me who is at fault not them.

dandelionclock30

Mind run a variety of self help groups which you can self refer to. Why dont you try to get yourself along to some of those.Whilst your doing groups and listening to others you wont have time to focus on all that.
Alternatively get yourself out walking, cycling, swimming etc, going to the gym. Again you wont have time for focussing on such things you are doing at present.
Theres only you that can help yourself with it all and you have to make a concious effort to think about and do others things. Theres no magic wand from professionals. good luck.

sausageandbeans

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

Mind run a variety of self help groups which you can self refer to. Why dont you try to get yourself along to some of those.Whilst your doing groups and listening to others you wont have time to focus on all that.
Alternatively get yourself out walking, cycling, swimming etc, going to the gym. Again you wont have time for focussing on such things you are doing at present.
Theres only you that can help yourself with it all and you have to make a concious effort to think about and do others things. Theres no magic wand from professionals. good luck.

I wasn't aware of any self help groups. I'll look into it. I have beentold by therapists that I need to confront fears etc. Like giving 50p to a homeless person and touching their hand etc. I just can't. It was like going past a skip. I need to wash and wash. One therapist had me sitting near a syringe bin in a clinic. I nearly passed out.

olipot

Have a look at kinseology a friend of mine had this for issues she was going through and she said it changed her life, hope you get sorted it must be awful for you good luck

marisco_2

jc808 wrote: »

troll.....

Not helpful. None of us have any way of knowing if posters on this forum are genuine or not. If you don't believe what is written then why respond, just ignore and move on. Mental health issues are extremely complex. An individual suffering in this way experiences disorganization of personality, mind, and emotions which seriously impair their normal psychological and often social functioning. What may seem unbelievable to you is another poor souls reality. To call troll on someone who may be struggling to cope with such a crippling existence, and who is already vulnerable could have serious consequences for them.

OP I hope someone far more knowledgeable than I over this delicate situation, will be along shortly and can offer you some much needed help and guidance.

sausageandbeans

marisco wrote: »

Not helpful. None of us have any way of knowing if posters on this forum are genuine or not. If you don't believe what is written then why respond, just ignore and move on. Mental health issues are extremely complex. An individual suffering in this way experiences disorganization of personality, mind, and emotions which seriously impair their normal psychological and often social functioning. What may seem unbelievable to you is another poor souls reality. To call troll on someone who may be struggling to cope with such a crippling existence, and who is already vulnerable could have serious consequences for them.

OP I hope someone far more knowledgeable than I over this delicate situation, will be along shortly and can offer you some much needed help and guidance.

Thankyou so much for that.I can only promise that I'm not trolling or trying to make a fool out of anybody. I know that I'm not thinking straight and am just looking for a way forward. If not then it makes me wonder what I'm existing for - and no I'm not feeling suicidal so don't worry just very depressed and sad.

Yorkie1

OP, have you ever been offered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

I think it's been helpful for quite a few people who live with OCD as it helps to reduce the anxiety surrounding the thoughts and compulsions.