A dinner lady has pulled out my child's tooth, am I overreacting?

[Deleted User]

carlamarie, that was a lovely, caring, kindly and considerate thing to do for your child. You should be sending her a bunch of flowers

My daughter similarly took a very wobbly tooth out of her sons mouth, just before bed, to reduce the slight chance of it coming loose and choking him. She is a dentist btw. That dinner lady went above and beyond the call of duty when she could have ignored it and your child could have choked

Have a glass of wine and forget complaining about a kind deed

COOLTRIKERCHICK

ljonski wrote: »

And getting madder! God knows what it wil be like in 20 let alone 50 years!

I dread to think..


I personally wouldn't even say anything...to the school... as the dinner lady was totally acting on a parental instinct to help your daughter... its no big deal...


would you have wanted them to phone you first, before doing anything if your daughter was choking on the tooth????




EDIT...... don't know if I have noticed this right... but it looks like us older generation have a different reaction to this than younger posters....

helzbelz_57

as far as I know dinner ladies have to have 1st aid certificates so it's possible she was thinking of preventing a worse scenario than the negligible 'trauma' of having a very wobbly tooth helped out.

I agree the world has gone mad.

my dinner lady was called vera. I still remember the smell of her perfume from all the cuddles I got when I had fallen over and cut my hand or knee.

Sezzagirl

The dinner lady has almost certainly acted wrongly according to the guidelines that are in place and because of that I would be a bit wary about how you act.


I know I was called into school because my child had a splinter in their finger and the teacher, even though she was a first aider, was not allowed to "treat" it. Same when he had a cut that needed steri-strip


I do not think that a dinner lady is allowed to take out your child's tooth (and that they should definitely call you to let you know what is happening if it was the case that the tooth was just hanging out!)


Having said that, I think that if you report what the dinner lady did to the people on reception or any other official at the school, I think they will be obliged to make it an official incident for the dinner lady. It will not just be a quiet chat so be aware that is what you might be putting into action

[Deleted User]

I too think the dinner lady was probably doing what most mums would have done.My late Mum when I was a little girl was the lady in the street that children used to run to if they fell over or had a mishap.She was sensible and caring, and every child knew her as Auntie Queenie .I remember one little boy saying to me once 'Your so lucky to have her as a Mum she always gives you a cuddle after she has cleaned up your knee when you fall over'.
She was the kindest person I have ever known.She could be strict as well, but if you were feeling poorly or sad, a cuddle from her made you feel so much better.I also think it helped that my Mum had an excellent first aid box as my late Dad was a chemist so she had lots of things that many of the other Mums probably didn't have.I only have to smell the pink Germolene smell or a sniff of witchazel to be reminded of her.My middle brother once almost sawed his finger off with the breadknife and she calmly wrapped his hand up in a towel and we walked up to the nearest hospital.David (my brother) wanted to know if it was going to fall off to which she said 'Not if I can help it laddie'.She never got in a flap or fussed and once you were treated and banadged a quick cuddle and off you went to play again. A very sane and sensible tiny little Scots women who never flapped about anything.

IrishRose12

It's reasons like this that myself and many other school staff all over the world get that feeling that they just don't want to work in schools anymore, no matter how much we love the job and the children! We have feelings too you know!! We get disheartened and fed up because or silly things like this.
I am sick to death of having to watch what I say/do incase a parent comes up to complain about you. We can't do right for doing wrong.

Me personally I wouldn't have taken the tooth out. Unless your daughter was going to choke on it or it was cutting her gums. Having said that, even if I wanted to I couldn't as thanks to the threat of complaints and being sued, schools can do just about nothing than walk about with their hands in their pockets and their mouths stuffed with a sock!!

All you hear is child protection this and child protection that............. where's the feelings of the children considered??? You're not even allowed to sit a child on your knee in most schools now after they fall, and all those wee ones want is a cuddle.
I don't know, people in my generation and older (I'm only 29 BTW) must have been murdered in school, because by god, these days staff cannot do a thing and have to sit and accept all the abuse and complaints that come their way.

I have children of my own in school and I would be sending a small thank you card to that dinner lady for taking the time to care and look after my child like she did yours. As I know for a fact there are many schools everywhere who WANT to help the children but are afraid of what the consequences will be We don't get paid enough to take parents cr*p and complaints from them. We don't even get paid enough for the job that we do.

If your child choked later on this afternoon on the tooth when it came out, I have no doubt in my mind you would be complaining that someone didn't help her or take it out. Just be grateful that the dinner lady had a kind heart and was willing to help your child. We don't walk around with mobile phones in our pockets all day with contact info for every child in them you know.

If your daughter isn't annoyed by it then surely that's all that matters?? She wasn't hurt, she wasn't scared and she felt comfortable enough and TRUSTED the dinner lady to help her. That should make you feel confident that you child and the dinner lady have a string relationship where your daughter has someone safe to go to if she ever needs help just like today.

carlamarie_2

Obviously if my child was choking (which on a baby tooth, is highly unlikely, Let's be honest!) I wouldnt want them to stop and ring me first! Intervention would be perfect if any of my kids got to that life or death situation.

Allowing my daughter to have a drink of water whilst at the same time as having a wobbly tooth is NOT a life or death situation.

The age argument will never be settled, maybe life was better back then. I wouldn't know, I only have experience in this time and age. But I'm pretty sure life wasn't perfect then either! The world is a mad place and is getting madder by the second, but as I said its the only one I know and to me at least, this is normal.

My kids are not wrapped in cotton wool, far from it, I encourage them to climb trees and splash in puddles and all the other things that your generation did, yet many of my generation don't allow.
I simply asked if I was overeacting, which you gave me an answer to, thanks for that.

thenanny2die4

You see, I'd probably get in all sorts of trouble for using my common sense to do what needs doing for a child. My experience of working as a Nanny for over 20 years means that I'm perhaps too accustomed to dealing with other people's children. I have no problem telling a child off if it's misbehaving and they seem to gravitate towards me if they need something. I've also sorted out a bunch of boys who were intimidating another little lad in the swimming pool. Someone's going to report me eventually, I just know it...


ETA: I do understand that this is really just a case of the "Mama Lion" instinct kicking in; you just want to protect your child. Well done, by the way, for letting your kids do those fun things that help them to learn and grow. You're right; too many parents don't allow their children to take any risks. To answer your original question, which I forgot to do, I think this was okay.

carlislelass

I worked at a school where my 2 youngest were pupils. I wasn`t allowed to comfort them, needless to say I left.

toothfairybuttkicker

I think you need to sleep on this. In reality this amazing caring motherly person was trying to help your daughter.

Once you say something to the school this could escalate to the point that this person looses their job!!
If you genuinely feel something needs to be said, why not have a word with the dinner lady outside school, start with thank you, then say that if it happens again could they possibly give you a ring before they act on it.

As others have said this world is going mad.