Starting a family seems unaffordable - stuck in limbo

Paypeanuts

I think it just comes down to 2 things.

a) Do you want children or is it just your partner?
b) Would you prefer to save for a house or have a child?

You do actually have plenty of money to have a child. You may not have enough to own a house and have a child though.

trailingspouse

You understand that women go back to work after having children, but quite rightly you realise that the cost of childcare can cancel out the salary they earn. PLEASE don't see this as a reason for your wife not going back to work if that's what she wants to do. She has just spent a lot of time and effort and money qualifying - if she doesn't go back this will all be wasted. Children don't need full time childcare for ever, and it's better to see it as an investment in your wife's future career.

This is particularly true in medicine, where things move on so quickly that if you take time out it can be hard to get back in.

StormyWeather_2

92203 wrote: »

Thanks, we've been saving up for a house deposit since she qualified, and now have just shy of £20k. We can't afford to buy in the South AND have children, so have been looking at buying somewhere up in the Midlands or North of England. Still doesn't seem feasible. I need to earn more money

Are there any shared ownership schemes in your area?

Are you permanent and salaried now? Have a look at contracting. It's less stable but pays more. Maybe you could contract for year or two then go back to perm when you have the baby.

DigForVictory

I've yet to meet a child who was "affordable". Trust me, within minutes the little blighter becomes priceless.

And the hugs and the laughter and the good times help make the rough times survivable.


Go for it.

Indie_Kid

Some of the money you would have put back for the house - can you put that into a separate account to save for the baby? Meaning that if your wife does go back to work, you'd still have some savings to help pay for childcare and the other bits you need for the baby.

FBaby

Couples in your situation (two similar levels of income, too high for tax credits/HB, living in the SE) are the ones who struggle the most. You either have to pay a full-time nursery place that leaves you hardly better off one salary, but it is a struggle on one salary when you will still not be entitled to much benefits.

All I can say is that you either move as you've said, as even with the reduction in salary, you would most likely be better off claiming, or you accept that the next 4 years (until baby start school) and your wife can return to work) are going to be tough. Alternatively, she could maybe do shifts around your hours. In any case, it will be tough.

The positive is that once childcare costs reduces/your wife can return to work, things will be much better, so you need to look at it short term and consider how you cope in between (don't buy a new car, don't go on holiday, no need for entertainment etc...)

StormyWeather_2

If your wife is recently qualified, isn't she on quite a low income at the moment? And won't that increase as she gains experience.

I don't think it's a good idea for her to take a break in work until she has more experience under her belt.

She could plan to work part time around your hours but think of the day to day family life that will give you. Your wife could be at work or sleeping at the weekend. Not much family time, just handing over baby for the other to look after.

You have to think of long term finances and the non financial aspects of decisions you make.

zaksmum

We were totally skint when our first child was born many years ago.

We had nothing. Managed to rent a council flat in a grim area and made do with old bits of furniture given to us by family members. Our first carpet was a load of sample size pieces sewn together and we dreamed about one day being able to afford the height of luxury...a fitted carpet!

Anyway we managed. We were happy despite the fact that we were only kids ourselves and we are still together 43 years down the line.

You would be surprised just how little money you CAN manage on when you put your mind to it and cut out wastefulness.

As others have said, if you wait too long there will never be a right time.

Just go for it. You will be fine.

fabforty

You say that you supported yourself and your wife, while she was was studying. Unless you are now earning less, of course you could manage on your sole income.


You have the advantage of a significant savings pot to fall back on and it would only be for a relatively short time, until the child was in school and your wife could work again.


She works full-time at the moment, but she doesn't have to do that forever. Part-time work around your job could help. You might have to wait to buy a house, but if you really want to start a family, it is perfectly feasible on your salary and no reason for you to be 'impoverished'.. TBH reading your post, it doesn't really sound as if you are sure that you want a child.

cattermole

Nursing is very flexible when it comes to shifts and working. I know one young lady who managed to qualify as a nurse with a young baby and has now had her second child and works 3 days a week on long shifts. Her Husband always works full time as a nurse.

It isn't really as though you can't afford it, if you want children you will find a way.

I don't think children actually cost as much as people make out, it's more the loss of income and childcare that is the factor.

Good luck if you decide to have children sooner rather than later.