How to tell Family to Butt out!

Scotsbride

I'm 18 wks pregnant with my first although had a miscarriage at 6 wks previously to this pregnancy and feeling rather hormonal at the moment so not sure whether this unreasonable to say to my Gran.


1. I know my own mind (when she tells me what I should feel).
2. Every pregnancy is different (when she tells me I should feel more energetic and have a pregnancy glow by now).
3. I felt what felt like movement (could of been gas but I more aware of my own body and that what it felt like to me! whe4n she tells me I can't possible felt the baby move it's far to early)
4. the doctor advised me to rest and drink plenty of fluids so not inviting her in when I told I was ill prior to her arriving on my doorstep with a present for my niece to deliver is not rude.
5. I do get out (I walk for an hr each day visit friends etc) Just cause I don't visit her at her times doesn't mean I'm sat indoor all day!)
6. I will discuss DIY issues with the house with my hubby not her and I don't need her giving me nightmare about having the baby taken away cause the living room not decorated).
7. Any issue within my marriage are mine and my husband business not hers.
8. I feel 18 wks is too early to think about prams I don't want to temp fate!
9. When I say I can't come over cause the car in the garage don't keep telling me to come over.
10. I have a life
11. I'm a 33 year old married woman who is pregnant and not the idiot she preseves me as.
12. When she asks if she can do anything to help is it really bad to want to say yes F off.
13. When I want advise I will ask for it so stop ramming it down my throat!
14. I would be nice if she came and saw me rather than me always making the effort to see her considering she passes my door twice a wk away.
15. If I'm doing a favour such as walking her dog then surely it should fit in with a time to suit me best!
16. I can't always drop everything to go over to hers,
17. Stop referring to me as her or your little friend when talking to my hubby on the phone.
18. Just cause I don't go over ever week doesn't mean I don't care. I'm allowed some me time!


sorry rant over in essence is it too bad to t tell her to butt out

Blackpool_Saver

YOUR Gran refers to you as 'your little friend' ?

comeandgo

Oh my darling, can I ask where is your mother in all this? Would she be able to say anything to your gran? I can well imagine your grans opinions is not what you need at the moment. You are perfectly entitled to ask her to back off and give you space. I wonder how her gran "advised" her on the issues of pregnancy when she was pregnant and if she listened to anything.

Tinwhistler

Maybe you could calmy ask her to read about stress and pregnancy and she might see it from another perspective.

Mojisola

Is it other family members or just your Gran who is the problem?

Has she always been like this or has it come on since you got pregnant?

kazwookie

How old are you and your gran?

Do you live with your gran?

I'd be telling her to butt out well and truely.

Scotsbride

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

YOUR Gran refers to you as 'your little friend' ?

to my hubby she does It really annoys both of us!

Mojisola

Scotsbride wrote: »

to my hubby she does It really annoys both of us!

If just saying "Please don't call Scotsbride that" doesn't work, then he needs to say "Next time you call my wife "her" or "your little friend", I'll put the phone down on you" and do it and don't answer if she tries to phone back. Be unavailable for a couple of days.

It will be practice for when you're teaching your LO not to do things - carrying on doing them has consequences.

Scotsbride

comeandgo wrote: »

Oh my darling, can I ask where is your mother in all this? Would she be able to say anything to your gran? I can well imagine your grans opinions is not what you need at the moment. You are perfectly entitled to ask her to back off and give you space. I wonder how her gran "advised" her on the issues of pregnancy when she was pregnant and if she listened to anything.

My Mum lives at the other end of the country and it my dad's mum. Seeing as I mainly communicate to my Dad via Emails and TXTs cause he impossible to get hold of it's difficult to know where to turn! No I don't live with my Gran 6 Miles away so about 15 minute drive up here. I'm 33 and whilst she's be opinated I've managed to ignore it or to get her to back off.
but now she just won't listen!

quailpower

I nearly commited murder for similar reasons when pregnant.

For some reason when your pregnant people loose their "polite things to say" filter.

Id just simply say you are really stressed and she is not helping, even if she thinks she is. So you are having a "holiday" and will speak to her again in a month. Doctors orders to stay calm after all
If all else fails, I found not really listening to what people say and going "really? Yeah? Yeah?" can sustain you for most conversations.

securityguy

Why are you spending time with someone who upsets you?