Different lifestyles: any way out?

coolcait

thorsoak wrote: »

Anyway, there are enough trolls around, so we don't need any more troll sprogs!

A good, and interesting, point.

Off-topic - what would you call a baby troll? It's not easy when the word ends in 'll' - so 'troll-let' and 'troll-ling' don't work!

thorsoak

coolcait wrote: »

A good, and interesting, point.

Off-topic - what would you call a baby troll? It's not easy when the word ends in 'll' - so 'troll-let' and 'troll-ling' don't work!

Troglet?:D:D:D

MarcusAurelius

balletshoes wrote: »

Do you think you need to do activities together to stay together?
You say your partner isn't much into sports, hobbies, home, family or career - so what are they into?

Nutrition, tai chi, beach holidays. Can't really think of other areas where their ambition runs high.

If this is the previously mentioned "lack of ambition" then how should I be dealing with it?

Suggestions are welcome. Books, articles. This is clearly an area where I have a gap in understanding, need to read up

paulineb_2

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Nutrition, tai chi, beach holidays. Can't really think of other areas where their ambition runs high.

If this is the previously mentioned "lack of ambition" then how should I be dealing with it?

Suggestions are welcome. Books, articles. This is clearly an area where I have a gap in understanding, need to read up

How about accepting the fact that you are different and like different things?

Seriously, you want people to recommend books and articles to help you understand the fact that your partner doesn't have the same ambition, hobbies and interests as you?

Why not talk to them? Or google?

claire16c

You'd have to be a complete idiot to think having a baby is a good thing in a failing relationship.

I can't believe this post it's just weird.

sacha28

For the record I think your idea of having a child to repair your (fake) fractured relationship is a ridiculous one. Having a child is rewarding, fulfilling, amazing BUT it is also bloody hard work. My partner and I have a solid relationship and did have when we decided to have a child. Having him nearly broke us on more than one occasion. The sleep deprivation that causes tiny issues to blow out of control, the financial implications that cause much stress and worry, the stress of childcare when returning to work, the difference in opinion on discipline......all of this and more. How on earth could you even consider it??!! :eek:

If you really can't understand his lack of any interest in what you do then why not leave the poor man and find someone who does? Let him live his own life just how he wants.

getmore4less

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Nutrition, tai chi, beach holidays. Can't really think of other areas where their ambition runs high.

If this is the previously mentioned "lack of ambition" then how should I be dealing with it?

Suggestions are welcome. Books, articles. This is clearly an area where I have a gap in understanding, need to read up

Looks OK to me, if they are happy with that then it seems you are the one with the problem if you are not interested in those things.

let them do those and you do yours.

Whats your list?

getmore4less

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

None of us likes cooking

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Nutrition

they kind of go together!

skattykatty

Is there anything that can improve the dynamics of such a relationship

accepting each other as you are?

if it's difficult to find things to do you both like, then it sounds like he IS into something, just not what you are into.

Kids to mend a relationship??? NOOOOO!!!! whatever you see of this working for others, you don't really know the dynamics of those relationships before or after the children came along...it's not a case of one size fits all...

I don't know that reading about this issue would make it any clearer? Do you love him? Can you imagine your life without him? How would you feel if you saw him with someone else?

SandC

I think the concept of introducing a child into this relationship is purely because they would then have something in common.

I can see where that might look appealing in OP's situation - after all I've known many couples have babies and they become so all consuming that their previous interests all fall by the wayside anyway.

Not usually premeditated mind you, so no, not a good idea.

If it were me I would try to find some common grounds, however if they haven't 'changed' to become like this then why has it become a problem now?