Different lifestyles: any way out?

MarcusAurelius

Hey all,

My partner is a really easy going person, but has few interests in life: not much into sports, hobbies, home, family or career, whereas I prefer active lifestyle.

When it comes to deciding how to spend time together it has not been easy finding activities that suit both of us.

Cant believe this is the end of the road, so willing to fight to stay together.

Is there anything that can improve the dynamics of such a relationship, eg kids or counselling?

Thanks.

balletshoes

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Hey all,

My partner is a really easy going person, but has few interests in life: not much into sports, hobbies, home, family or career, whereas I prefer active lifestyle.

When it comes to deciding how to spend time together it has not been easy finding activities that suit both of us.

Cant believe this is the end of the road, so willing to fight to stay together.

Is there anything that can improve the dynamics of such a relationship, eg kids or counselling?

Thanks.

Do you think you need to do activities together to stay together?
You say your partner isn't much into sports, hobbies, home, family or career - so what are they into?

geri1965_2

Having kids is the worst idea. I can't see how counselling would work either, you just like different things.

Lots of couples have different interests - there is nothing unusual or wrong with it. Do you live together?

maman

I certainly wouldn't recommend having children as a way out.


I'm interested how you met in the first place if you have nothing in common at all. Do you not just enjoy spending some time together? Walks? meals? cooking together?


I don't think it matters that your partner doesn't share all your interests as long as you're happy to spend some time together and some time apart. What's a deal breaker is when one partner tries to impose a choice on the other and there's no give and take.


I did split with my ex as (amongst other things) I found his lack of ambition really difficult to understand. I probably could have lived with that but he resented me studying and putting in extra time at work too.


With my now DH we have a mixture of shared interests and some which we pursue individually. We did have similar jobs so could empathise with each other. It does make a difference.

mountainofdebt

I've said it before and I'll say it again has anyone else noticed a marked increase in posters who joined eons ago with few posts suddenly posting about really personally things?

Anyway back to the question in hand.

Surely compromise is the key here - you do something that they enjoy and then vice versa.

thorsoak

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Hey all,

My partner is a really easy going person, but has few interests in life: not much into sports, hobbies, home, family or career, whereas I prefer active lifestyle.

When it comes to deciding how to spend time together it has not been easy finding activities that suit both of us.

Cant believe this is the end of the road, so willing to fight to stay together.

Is there anything that can improve the dynamics of such a relationship, eg kids or counselling?

Thanks.

Are you serious? Considering having a child in order to improve the dynamics of a relationship? Could you really stoop to any lower levels of shallowness?

No normal thinking people would think of concieving a child as a sticking plaster to a foundering relationship.

MarcusAurelius

None of us likes cooking

How would you describe a lack of ambition?

Somehow we've managed to stay together for a very long time.

So that's also a factor.

What's wrong with having kids?

I know a few couples who were on the verge of splitting, then had kids and seem to be doing well now.

MarcusAurelius

thorsoak wrote: »

Are you serious? Considering having a child in order to improve the dynamics of a relationship? Could you really stoop to any lower levels of shallowness?

No normal thinking people would think of concieving a child as a sticking plaster to a foundering relationship.

Is this the end of the road then?

Georgiegirl256

MarcusAurelius wrote: »

Hey all,

My partner is a really easy going person, but has few interests in life: not much into sports, hobbies, home, family or career, whereas I prefer active lifestyle.

When it comes to deciding how to spend time together it has not been easy finding activities that suit both of us.

Cant believe this is the end of the road, so willing to fight to stay together.

Is there anything that can improve the dynamics of such a relationship, eg kids or counselling?

Thanks.

I find it hard to believe this post is real. :cool: A lot of couples don't have shared interests, why on earth would you think that it's the end of the road?

Tbh, if you're considering counselling, then I think there is a lot more wrong with your relationship than not having shared interests....

Yeah, go on, pop a couple of kids out, why not!

thorsoak

No child should be concieved with the view of keeping a family together. Having a child should be a full-on commitment by both parents, to create a life which they will nurture, cherish and care for - not an aside "ok - we're getting bored - let's pop out a sprog or two".

Shudder.

Anyway, there are enough trolls around, so we don't need any more troll sprogs!

MarcusAurelius

balletshoes wrote: »

ok i'm calling it - don't feed the troll .

Hi, and who might you be?