Student, pregnant, sinking and in need of help :( *update*

DragonQ

Definitely make food in batches. 200 g of pasta (12p), 1/3 of a jar of sauce (13p), salami (£1.50) and 160 g of frozen vegetables (16p) makes me one dinner and two lunches. 64p per meal if you use the cheap supermarket branded stuff and rather healthy (replacing the salami with ham or other meat would make it even better), plus you save on cooking electricity/gas costs by making three meals instead of one.

terra_ferma

This must been the nastiest posts I've seen for a while.
Telling someone they should have an abortion because they are experiencing financial difficulties is callous.
You probably have no idea what having an abortion means to the woman making that decision. I'm sure there are many women who have an abortion for very good reasons, know it's the right choice for them, and still wonder many years later what the child would have been like.
Telling someone they should abort their first child, when they clearly feel it's not what they want, can only be defined as nasty.
Financial troubles in most cases are just temporary, a baby is lost forever.
(I must add that god has nothing to do with my way of thinking, and that I think every woman has the right to make her own decision, it's not up to other people telling her if she should have the baby or not.).

DragonQ

terra_ferma wrote:

This must been the nastiest posts I've seen for a while.
Telling someone they should have an abortion because they are experiencing financial difficulties is callous.
You probably have no idea what having an abortion means to the woman making that decision. I'm sure there are many women who have an abortion for very good reasons, know it's the right choice for them, and still wonder many years later what the child would have been like.
Telling someone they should abort their first child, when they clearly feel it's not what they want, can only be defined as nasty.

Agreed. It's an option but if the OP has already decided against it then that's that.

terra_ferma wrote:

(I must add that god has nothing to do with my Away of thinking, and that I think every woman has the right to make her own decision, it's not up to other people telling her if she should have the baby or not.)

Not even the father? :eek:

Dazedandconfused

I think it's worth keeping basics sauces in but you don't really need them.
For example you could make a simple chilli very cheaply

I would put in mine
1 small onion
1 or 2 carrots ( depending on what I have in) chopped like sticks
1 x can of kidney beans
1 x tin or carton of chopped tomatoes
1 x handful of chopped frozen peppers
Any other random veg I have to use up I like celery in chilli or green beans
1 x handful of red lentils
Add in about a tablespoon of chilli, some mixed herbs if you leave them in


Soften the onions slightly first then bung everything else in and a bit if extra water - cook on hob for 20 mins or so.
That would do me 4 portions or 3 if I was feeling piggy and you can eat with rice, add cheese and we've on jacket potato, put with salad on pitta bread or wrap and eat for lunch

If you don't have one already it's a good idea to build up a spice collection
My essentials are chilli powder, cumin, mixed herbs, cinnamon, ginger and turmeric - you can just buy one spice every other shop and you'll soon have a variety

dktreesea

OP, I think you need to up your income. If you could get proper broadband, it would be cheaper, from the sounds of it, than your Ipad contract. You could maybe do surveys. Clixsense also sounds good as do Research Opinions. Not so sure about surveys on YouGov. I have never made it to the £50 needed to cash out and have been doing it for years. It might only generate £10 to £20 a week, but it all adds up.

innovate

DragonQ wrote: »

Not even the father? :eek:

The father should most certainly be part of the discussions that lead to the decision, which is one of the most serious decisions a woman ever has to make in her life. If the father can't be bothered, or if he runs away because he wants an abortion and the mother can't get herself to having an abortion, then the father has had his say. In the end it should be, and hopefully always is, in a civilised society, still the mother who has the absolute final say. It is her body, and her mind, that take the direct hit.

mgdavid

bluep wrote: »

I don't often get involved in tit for tat posts or call someone out on their behaviour on this forum but....seriously? You took all of that time to type out a point by point response without having anythign much constructive to say? Really sad that having the last word means more to you than trying to help someone in a sticky situation. Do you like saying "I told you so" and "It's your own fault" much?

Given what you've written so far, I'd say no response is a good thing.

^^^ this.
I know I can be a bit blunt at times but 'anotheruser' sounds like the nastiest piece of work in many a long month.
Who could take exception to anything the OP has written? She appears to be moving mountains to do the right thing, and deserves all the luck and support possible :-)

Valli

Like other posters (and unlike some others) I admire your approach to this.

Haven't time to read all the thread BUT you MAY live in an area where there are National Childbirth Trust nearly new sales.

When the Vallikids (and especially the Valligirl) were babies/toddlers I could often get some fantastic clothing s/h for them from there. They also sell equipment.

Good luck with it all!

bluep

NCT sales are great for bargains but beware...there's usually a stampede and a grabathon! I was amazed at the ones I went to - it was worse than the Next sale at 6am

ABetterLife

duchy wrote: »

You'll do fine - You're bright and you're determined.
A few random bits. Loads of shops give student discounts - sometimes just with your student ID -often works out better than Quidco or Topcashback and of course it's money in your pocket now rather than later. It also may be worth you getting the NUS plus card - more student discounts and my favourite one is 10% off food in the Co-op shops - in reality it sems to be off everything so long as there is food included in the shop and Co-op often have good offers on baby supplies so a couple of packs of nappies and wipes on offer plus a couple of tins of beans/fruit whatever should get you the 10% off the lot.

The Ipad needs to earn its own living - find the apps for Roamler and Field Agent both can earn you cash for no outlay and very little effort.

Definitely check out toddler and baby groups at local churches ..... nice warm hall to meet in (and save on heating at home), a cuppa and a chat with other new Mums and often people are selling baby bits ....and no-one cares if you're Christian, Druid or Athiest That said I used to take my son to church - he'd go to the creche and I'd enjoy just sitting back and letting the service wash over me -often not really listening - but I found it relaxing and theraputic whilst the rest of my week was so busy. I couldn't tell you what the sermon was about most weeks but it did me good...if not in the way it is intended....and again a nice place to meet other families .

Don't forget prescriptions and dental treatment are free when expecting and just after ... get any dental work done whilst it is - preferably before the baby is born so it's a babysitter saved

Thank you!

My Uni ID card doubles as a legit NUS card, whoop whoop. I must start carrying it in my purse! How much is the NUS+?

Just downloaded them both, thank you!

Shall do

And yeah, I finally plucked up the courage last week to go dentists and had my second appointment today. Got two fillings and some cleaning done. It was LONG overdue. Next appointment on Monday! I was so scared of the needle though, I was shaking :eek: