Student, pregnant, sinking and in need of help :( *update*

bluep

Just wanted to add - I meant check out SureStart (not for the grant which you aren't eligible for) but for their activities - in our area they ran a toy library which was 20p per box/big item for a fortnight and great for different things to stimulate babies all the way up to 4/5 years old. They also did mum and babies coffee mornings, again either free or very heavily subsidised and their toddler activities were free with lots of fresh fruit and things for the toddlers to snack on. Their whole aim was helping mothers and children who didn't have much cash. For example, when we didn't need our Greco travel system anymore, I gave the whole thing to SureStart locally and they passed it onto a new mum who needed it so lots of passing things down and round and round!

Getting on a clothes chain is a good thing too - if you have friends who have kids a couple of years older (or family who know people), you become the person that they hand all the stuff down to. We got some lovely clothes from my cousin whose daughter is 2 years older, and passed on some really nice stuff to my other cousin whose daughter is 4 years younger. Especially when they are younger, kids grow so quickly and rarely "ruin" or wear something out. As they get older, clothes fit them for longer and for rougher play so aren't as good for passing around!

racing_blue

I have only read the OP and first few posts so apologise if this has already been said, but if you can possibly find a way to:

1. AVOID MORE DEBT
2. KEEP THE NURSE STUDIES GOING

then the rest is detail.

Admittedly, detail looks pretty tough at the moment, but the big picture is OK. Your overall debt is less than £2k... over on the debt free board there are people owing 10x that.

You are on the road to a profession with decent earning potential (depending on how far you wish to take it... https://www.rcn.org.uk/support/pay_and_conditions/pay_rates_201314)

A big thing in your favour, budgeting, is that you are not servicing a large debt. I completely believe the key is to avoid this debt increasing, using all the methods described above.

That is not to downplay the really challenging situation which you are facing with new baby / studies / cost of accomodation/ future childcare but these are issues which often seem to have individual own work-throughs and fixes, situation dependent. But the financial goal in all of it should be to avoid more debt, and to maintain a trajectory towards higher income potential.

I really hope things work out well & that you can get support here about all the financial issues.

racing_blue

I disagree with the sentiment behind this. Early 20s can be an excellent age to have a baby from a biological perspective. It is hardwired, historically would not be considered young at all. Time, health and resilience are on the side of the younger parent. I had children in early 20s and would not change a thing.

Luiem

Hi, many years ago I was a student struggling financially at university (albeit not pregnant) and ended up having to drop out due to debts. Having read through your thread I have a few ideas that could save you some small amounts of money in your living expenses.


1) Have you signed up to the various parenting clubs (sainsburys, boots, Tesco.) Boots give 10 points per £1 on selected items, Sainsburys a £5 voucher off their own brand baby products and Boots and Tesco send money off vouchers through the post.


2) We live in a hard water area and don't use fabric conditioner at all. Would this be an option as it would obviously save money? Otherwise, if you use the recommended amount on the bottle try reducing this. We also use less than half the recommended dosage of washing powder per wash (including for laundering my health care uniforms.)


3) If you have a freezer perhaps you could look at buying bigger portions of food, and making up two of the same meal at once, one for now and one to freeze. I imagine that once the baby arrives you aren't going to feel much like cooking and just reheating a meal may be easier. Also, check that buying fruit and veg loose isn't actually cheaper than buying the "special offer" bagged items.


4) Did you have a phone before your iphone? Do you still have it? It could be sold to raise some money. Same as with any old cd's, dvd's etc... Also any text books you may have which you no longer require.


5) We are signed up for quidco as well as topcashback. I always check the cashback amounts on both before I make a purchase.
Also, install the apps for both, as well as shopitize on your phone. We have had plenty of cashback for buying things we would anyway.
We also use my supermarket to check prices against other supermarkets (they have two apps available.)


6) Once your baby starts outgrowing clothes sell them on, maybe through Facebook selling groups or ebay. You will find you get slightly more money selling clothes while the same items are still available new from the shops. Also, should you get any clothes (or other items) as gifts that you don't need, take them back to the shops and you will usually be able to get a gift card. You can then save this for a sale in that shop and buy twice as many items that you do need!


7) Check for NUS or NHS discounts before you shop. It doesn't cost anything to ask if a student discount is available if there is no obvious sign.


Good luck.

Archi_Bald

Too many adults these days judge people from a few posts on the internet without actually going through the processes of getting to know the people.

I don't understand many things you say, such as "Living with your dad would be a much better move". How on earth did you determine that. Don't bother explaining, I don't think I would ever understand your thinking.

shandyclover

I had my first child at 21, I wouldn't have it any other way. It was hard at the time, but my children are part of what made me the character I am today.

I would definitely look up 'Surestart'. Even if you are not eligible for their grant find your local chapter or group. They were incredibly supportive to me when I unexpectedly arrived back in UK with 4 children under 10 in winter with no warm clothing, no home, no job, no family and for a short time no husband (before anyone starts bashing me yes, I am english born and bred, just have been an expat). Surestart let me access their clothing store which tided us over until I reconnected with family and found a home and job, but most importantly they treated me with dignity and respect which at the time was so precious.

Do, as others have suggested look at Jack's website http://agirlcalledjack.com/ she bases all her budget busting recipes on Sainsbury's basics, you mentioned you shop there it being the closest. As a single mum I think you may also find her story incredibly inspirational, just knowing there are others out there like you and you are not alone can make a difference.

Far be it from me to try to teach a student nurse, but try and remember how important this trimester is for your baby's future while her brain is growing at a rate of knots http://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/eating-well/week-37/protein.aspx#ts
When times were tough I often tried to live by the maxim 'will this build me/my kids health' if the answer was no, it went back on the shelf till times were better. While a 'bali' scented toilet cleaner is nice, a basics 20p pine one will still do the job and you will have an extra £1.80 to buy nutritious food for you/baby or pay off debts. I confess I too have an obsession with scented stuff, it was some of the first 'luxuries' I bought when I got a job, I'm sure it's a clever marketing ploy!

Wander over to the 'Oldstyle moneysaving' thread sometime. There are some amazing experts on there and makes for fascinating reading
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=33


Wishing you and your little one all the best. One day you will be able to proudly tell her how you and her came through all this and survived. My 4 are mostly grown up now, all working in college/uni and driven young ladies with a sense of who they are and want to contribute to the world, as I'm sure your daughter will be with such a strong role model!:T

ABetterLife

I'm sure it's just pregnancy hormones but you guys make me want to cry! So supportive and helpful, thank you! I'm nearly home so when I get in I'll jump on the laptop and reply individually to everyone xx

ABetterLife

Dazedandconfused wrote: »

What kind of food do you eat? Any particular likes / dislikes? You need to make yourself cook daily and eat nutritious meals especially with you being pregnant. Will sort out any deficiency iron issues for a start.

Do you have a freezer or at least a freezer compartment frozen veg is much cheaper than fresh for a start

At the moment I'd say my diet consists of baked beans, tinned spaghetti, scrambled/fried eggs (fried in olive oil), cereal (usually imitation weetabix or imitation cheerios), buttered toast, cheese and picalli sandwiches, jam and peanut butter sandwiches, the occasional ice cream, mince when I can be bothered to cook, tuna mayo, bacon, yogurt, bananas and every Sunday my Nana cooks and gives me some. Traditional Jamaican food - macaroni cheese, rice with kidney beans, roast potatoes and usually some kind of meat. My neighbour has also started cooking for me, same kind of food but she cooked me oxtail the other day

When at uni, I tend to buy the hot food there. So meat, potatoes or if it's nasty/overpriced (which it usually is), then jacket potato; either with cheese and beans or with tuna mayo. I sometimes get a cake and custard dessert.

I also LOVE stuff like:

Jacket potatoes
Shepherds pie
Pie, any kind of pie

I like most foods to be honest. Not having a cooker has limited me (but I have a hotplate, microwave, toaster and kettle), but it's mainly laziness. I can't be bothered to get off my !!!! and cook! I do intend to cook for the baby every day though.

I dislike mushrooms *shudder* and anything too spicy (at the moment because of heartburn, I usually like it).

Yes, my iron. I've had the lecture from the midwife about eating more iron rich foods (plus I have iron tablets to take plus prunes ). I guess the thing to push myself to do is to experiment more, and learn to cook. I can cook, but I don't have much experience cooking, iykwim?

I do have a freezer, yep

bluep

VEGETABLES!!!

Carrots, peas, brocolli, cauliflower, aubergine, onions, sweetcorn, squash, courgettes, asparagus...they are easy to cook and if you follow what ever is in season, really cheap in local markets/greengrocers or quite often reduced at the big supermarkets if slightly odd shaped or a bit bashed about.

Eat some!

Especially if the baby is going to be eating what you eat when weaned. And fruit too.

Dazedandconfused

I think that if everyone waited until they were financially equipped to have kids most people wouldn't have them. My best friend had her first unplanned baby at 18 and her relationship was very rocky to start with. They are still together though many years later and she is one of the best parents I know so don't listen to the negativity.



So you have no oven still? That's not a biggie really

I bet uni food isn't cheap so that's another saving you could make. I think you need to get some more veg in your diet.
If you have no oven I would recommend investing in a slow cooker. You can cook cheap cuts of meat, do loads of different soups/ stews etc and it fits perfectly with laziness cos you might need to brown some things off on your hot plate for a few mins but otherwise it's bung it in and forget about it for a few hours then come back and you've got dinner. You can even cook rice and make puddings in one.

If you got one like this
http://www.wilko.com/slow-cookers/wilko-everyday-value-slow-cooker-15l/invt/0316165?VBMST=Slow%20cooker

Or this one which I have but mine on offer was only £5

http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/9367847.htm

You'd make your money back in no time. Also look to invest in a hand blender in the future which will be great for making baby food. You can get very cheap and cheerful ones but they do the job.

If you are looking at eating more veg frozen veg is what I'd go for.
Spinach, peppers, green beans, peas are all much more economic frozen than fresh and keep longer obviously.

You can fill your slow cooker and freeze portions. You can even make shepherds pie in it

http://southernfood.about.com/od/crockpotgroundbeef/r/bl115c3.htm

When I did my masters and didn't have a second loan so was really broke I used to make soups and take them to uni in a flask.

Also I know it sounds obvious but for me eating healthily really improves your state of mind as well.