Split from Husband...need advice please

BitterAndTwisted

Well, fortunately the courts don't share your point of view that one spouse's pension is their's alone! Or there would be altogether too many deserted and cast-off ex's around living a life of penury after decades of marriage with no personal salary and very possibly reduced employment prospects to boot. Double whammy

warehouse

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Marriage is a union, and that union includes joint-assets. Don't want to share yours? Don't get married, don't have kids and don't live with a partner. Simples.

You seem to be forgetting that the OP is the Woman and she decided to go shag someone else.

BitterAndTwisted

That someone is guilty of shagging someone else is irrelevant to me. The people who do it when both are in a totally happy and fulfilled marriage are as rare as hen's teeth. A partnership ends. The assets are split. Both move on with their lives with more than tuppence ha'penny to their names do it with. That's all that matters.

paddy's_mum

warehouse wrote: »

You seem to be forgetting that the OP is the Woman and she decided to go shag someone else.

Blimey! So much outrage and vitriol based upon assumptions!

Perhaps we should chop off hands or other relevant bits of human anatomy as punishment for so great a wickedness as leaving an unhappy marriage...and nobody reading the OP can even begin to guess what provoked the OP to seek sanctuary elsewhere.

Not all so-called infidelity is without justification.

Netwizard

If the OP was being beaten up or the hubbie was being an utter !!!!!!, surely the OP would have mentioned this in the post.

The way its been written, it sounds like OP wants to have her cake and eat it! We can only judge on what has been written and the way the post has been written, the OP doesn't sound like a very nice person. If the OP adds more detail later and it turns out that hunny is a !!!!!!, hence the reason for shagging someone else, I will gladly apologise. (Although in that case, surely its better to end the marriage first, then jump into bed with someone else, not the other way round!)

BitterAndTwisted

Why should the OP include extraneous details when it has absolutely no relevance to the query bar satisfying a load of nosy-parkers?

Netwizard

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Why should the OP include extraneous details when it has absolutely no relevance to the query bar satisfying a load of nosy-parkers?

Because then maybe people won't be as harsh on the OP? (and people are speculating, saying there might be reasons why she jumped into bed with someone else and now wants to screw him for his pension!)

fivetide

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

That someone is guilty of shagging someone else is irrelevant to me. The people who do it when both are in a totally happy and fulfilled marriage are as rare as hen's teeth. A partnership ends. The assets are split. Both move on with their lives with more than tuppence ha'penny to their names do it with. That's all that matters.

If only that were the case more often.

We don't know the details here but personally, I agree with all the above - with the specific caveat that you end your current partnership before starting a new one and/or splitting up someone elses....

If you do that then I do think it is harsh to then go after things like a pension because your new squeeze can't provide in the same way. Split the house, savings etc but don't affect the person's life after you've gone. Let them rebuild too.

After all, people who make their (poorer) bed should really lie in it. Anything else comes across as vindictive for me.

That's a general view though. The issue is the law can't do a case by case basis which does lead to some unfortunate situations.

paddy's_mum

linclass wrote: »

His wife ... is claiming 1/2 of his RAF pension

So, there's another woman in this tale who is "screwing" a man out of 'his' pension?

warehouse

paddy's_mum wrote: »

Blimey! So much outrage and vitriol based upon assumptions!

Perhaps we should chop off hands or other relevant bits of human anatomy as punishment for so great a wickedness as leaving an unhappy marriage...and nobody reading the OP can even begin to guess what provoked the OP to seek sanctuary elsewhere.

Not all so-called infidelity is without justification.

A very good friend of mine was taken to the cleaners by his ex, who decided she wanted to have her cake and eat it, and now works 7 days a week to live in virtual poverty while she spends every other month on holiday.

Excuse my outrage whilst another ***** does the same to her ex, and even comes on here to wring every drop of blood out of him whilst she's at it fully supported by mumsnet mse users.