Depression Support Thread

meyore

Hi everyone. I've tried to have a few days off from here as I've been feeling pretty rubbish and I'm not sure if posting here is making me feel better or worse. This week things seem to be getting worse than ever and I'm finding it impossible to cope. As you know know, OH is in the army and is living away from me until we can get married. Which is a problem in itself, as we get very little time together and neither of us can actually afford to get married because of my debts. We're constantly arguing recently-not badly, but theres not really a good way to argue is there? Both of us are under pressure, but neither of us seems to be able to make allowances for the other. Its screwed up that I can see the problem, but still can't take the obvious steps to fix it. Until he gets his next assessment done and his posting confirmed, we're in limbo anyway. Once we know where hes going to be based we can start making plans.

I've managed to get my debt down to below £17000 this month (£16974.32 woo!), which I should be pleased about, but other things have messed up, so I'm not sure its not going to end up going up again. To get myself out of debt I decided to sell my house and move in with my mum. The actual equity in the house is less than I owe, which is depressing, but at least a good proportion of my debt would be gone. I've been renting out the house in the mean time, to cover most of the mortgage payments until the sale goes through. Little did I realise we had a nutter living there, who has basically messed me around for months and cost me a load of money. We've got someone new in now, but the house doesn't look like its ever going to sell. I'm scared house prices are going to fall and I'm never going to get rid of it.

I live in constant fear that I'm going to lose my job, as around this time last year I was sacked, which is one of the big reasons I got into so much debt. I know I'm not doing anything that they could sack me for and I think I'm quite good at my job, but it doesn't stop me worrying. I wasn't actually doing anything wrong in the last job either. I had a case against them for unfair dismissal, but I couldn't face going through with it in the end so let it drop. I regret that now. I don't earn as much as I need to each month, so I have to take on more overtime than I can cope with so I can pay the bills. I struggle, but I've never missed a payment. I don't get any luxuries though and its killing me. I shop around for the best prices on petrol, I park a mile out of town and walk into work. All I want is a life, but I can't have one. I live on the edge in a sense, because if I don't work, I can't pay my debts and I'll end up in a lot of trouble.

To top off my "favourite" month of February, is Valentine's Day and mine and OH's anniversery on Sunday. He was meant to be coming home for the weekend and we were going to celebrate both. Then, they spring on him that he isn't allowed off base as he has to be on guard duty for a week starting tomorrow. Great. The worst part of it is he had booked us into the hotel that I would like to get married in and was planning to give me an engagement ring. I am so gutted.

Went to the doctors on Friday and admitted there was all this stuff going on and I just wasn't coping. She wanted to give me anti depressants but I refused them-I don't think drugs will solve my problems some how. The things that are getting me down are real things, not a chemical imbalance so what would be the point. She suggested couselling, but I have to come back in a month to see about that. I don't think it would do any harm, but we're looking at May before it would happen. I might have exploded by then (joke:o I don't think I'm that bad yet). She also wanted me to take a fortnight off work, but as I'm off from Tuesday anyway for 2 weeks I said there was no need. I will probably just mope around for the 2 weeks anyway, not eating or doing anything because its too much effort, like I've done today. While OH is away I use work to occupy myself and if I'm not working I just don't know what else to do. What do normal people do?

shazrobo

meyore wrote: »

Hi everyone. I've tried to have a few days off from here as I've been feeling pretty rubbish and I'm not sure if posting here is making me feel better or worse. This week things seem to be getting worse than ever and I'm finding it impossible to cope. As you know know, OH is in the army and is living away from me until we can get married. Which is a problem in itself, as we get very little time together and neither of us can actually afford to get married because of my debts. We're constantly arguing recently-not badly, but theres not really a good way to argue is there? Both of us are under pressure, but neither of us seems to be able to make allowances for the other. Its screwed up that I can see the problem, but still can't take the obvious steps to fix it. Until he gets his next assessment done and his posting confirmed, we're in limbo anyway. Once we know where hes going to be based we can start making plans.

I've managed to get my debt down to below £17000 this month (£16974.32 woo!), which I should be pleased about, but other things have messed up, so I'm not sure its not going to end up going up again. To get myself out of debt I decided to sell my house and move in with my mum. The actual equity in the house is less than I owe, which is depressing, but at least a good proportion of my debt would be gone. I've been renting out the house in the mean time, to cover most of the mortgage payments until the sale goes through. Little did I realise we had a nutter living there, who has basically messed me around for months and cost me a load of money. We've got someone new in now, but the house doesn't look like its ever going to sell. I'm scared house prices are going to fall and I'm never going to get rid of it.

I live in constant fear that I'm going to lose my job, as around this time last year I was sacked, which is one of the big reasons I got into so much debt. I know I'm not doing anything that they could sack me for and I think I'm quite good at my job, but it doesn't stop me worrying. I wasn't actually doing anything wrong in the last job either. I had a case against them for unfair dismissal, but I couldn't face going through with it in the end so let it drop. I regret that now. I don't earn as much as I need to each month, so I have to take on more overtime than I can cope with so I can pay the bills. I struggle, but I've never missed a payment. I don't get any luxuries though and its killing me. I shop around for the best prices on petrol, I park a mile out of town and walk into work. All I want is a life, but I can't have one. I live on the edge in a sense, because if I don't work, I can't pay my debts and I'll end up in a lot of trouble.

To top off my "favourite" month of February, is Valentine's Day and mine and OH's anniversery on Sunday. He was meant to be coming home for the weekend and we were going to celebrate both. Then, they spring on him that he isn't allowed off base as he has to be on guard duty for a week starting tomorrow. Great. The worst part of it is he had booked us into the hotel that I would like to get married in and was planning to give me an engagement ring. I am so gutted.

Went to the doctors on Friday and admitted there was all this stuff going on and I just wasn't coping. She wanted to give me anti depressants but I refused them-I don't think drugs will solve my problems some how. The things that are getting me down are real things, not a chemical imbalance so what would be the point. She suggested couselling, but I have to come back in a month to see about that. I don't think it would do any harm, but we're looking at May before it would happen. I might have exploded by then (joke:o I don't think I'm that bad yet). She also wanted me to take a fortnight off work, but as I'm off from Tuesday anyway for 2 weeks I said there was no need. I will probably just mope around for the 2 weeks anyway, not eating or doing anything because its too much effort, like I've done today. While OH is away I use work to occupy myself and if I'm not working I just don't know what else to do. What do normal people do?

hi meyore, sorry to hear that your feeling so low right now, (((((big hugs)))))
i wouldn't instantly say no to the anti d's without giving it some serious thought. my problems are purely down to the fact that i've got 2 special needs kids, who i care for full time with no respite, or family or friends to help. the tablets dont make my problems go away, but help me cope a little better.
dont remember what normal people do on days off, been so long since i had one. keep your chin up hun, you very lucky that you have got a oh that loves you so very much, and as soon as your house is sold, you'll be able to get rid of most of the debts
shaz x

Sugar_Coated_Owl

(((HUGS))) to you all.

meyore I'm off for 2 and a half weeks from Thurs. and I'm dreading it. I just don't know what to do with myself. I'd actually rather be working. Working is basically my reason for getting up. If I don't work I just seem to sleep and stay in my pyjamas all day (like today!)

Have you any plans meyore? What about going to more exercise classes?

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
How are we all?
Just thought I'd stick my head through the catflap and say hello to you all. Haven't you all been busy little posters?! Sorry I haven't read back yet guys.:o
First things first...sadly, a bit of a mixed bag...

A sincere Tiffy to celestineperu - I'm sure you've received some great support and advice from the sweethearts here celest and I look forward to getting to know you hunnie.


- bmf - I'm so sorry to hear about b-i-l, hunnie. There'll be times where the grief will come in waves angel, as I'm sure you know. Try and ride out the storm hun as best as you can. Be reassured by the knowledge that he had the best quality of life and the most show of love that he could have had in these last short weeks, given lovingly by you and your family. That's something amazing to be able to give somebody, angel. You're in my thoughts hunnie.


- gilly-badger, santashelper and fg - A belated - but genuine - congratulations and a very...



...is wished to you all!

Just want to let you all know that I haven't forgotten any of you - things are a little bit tough for me right now, but I'll spill the beans another time.

I see gario has gone awol - and that our katie is still hiding north of the border. That's ok - I can wait!
Others on my Tiffing list include sazzy, ethel, blinky, gilly and miro - and that's just to start with!


Nice - if that's the right word - to see some of the old school - cif, sh, bunnie - posting again! Welcome back guys. I've got so much to catch up on so please bear with me.


Now you know I wouldn't miss a Caturday posting if I could help it and it's better late than never, so...






Ok peeps, that's it for now I'm afraid. (Who's that cheering?!)
See you for the 5a.m. smartie round! Now be good little Tifflings and off to bed with you all.
Be kind to yourself guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

meyore

razorbladekisses wrote: »

(((HUGS))) to you all.

meyore I'm off for 2 and a half weeks from Thurs. and I'm dreading it. I just don't know what to do with myself. I'd actually rather be working. Working is basically my reason for getting up. If I don't work I just seem to sleep and stay in my pyjamas all day (like today!)

Have you any plans meyore? What about going to more exercise classes?

I put in for extra overtime today so I had something to do, otherwise I wouldn't have got out of bed at all. I got home at 2 and have been in bed pretty much ever since. I don't want to spend the next 2 weeks here though.

I'll probably just throw myself into going to the gym, sounds like a good plan.

I hope you're doing ok.

Xx

Sazbo

.......where'd everybody go? sazzy's wide awake and nobody to party with, typical innit!:rolleyes: granted, i was a bit slow out of bed this morning... oh well have another sherbet sazzy - don't mind if I do! :beer: :j

Sweet dreams my lovlies :wave:

Love you
saz xxxxxxxxxxxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
Morning guys - evening sazzy!
Where do I start?!

ethel - hi sweetheart! How's everything hunnie? Hope the family are doing well, ethel. How did the support group go yesterday - any help to you angel? Ever an inspiration to us all. What about this epic essay, ethel? Have you had the mark yet? I hope you remembered to translate it from a certain broad brogue before it was submitted. It's really good to see you posting hunnie. I'm thinking of you as always sweetie. Take care ettie b!

sazzy - and just what were you doing out at 1.28a.m., young lady? No wonder this thread is going to the dogs! What kind of example is this to set the young 'uns? Tsk, tsk. Hoping all is well with you hunnie - keeping you in my thoughts as always.


..... .....hey...over here...
Ok, ok - it's a fair cop, guvna. Yes, I did hold back on the smartie shortage information guys, but I did it with good intentions - I didn't want to start a mass panic on the thread.
I had no choice but to stockpile them until the supply was reinstated. So for the last few weeks I've been slipping you all a placebo instead.





Before I resume normal service,, I'd just like to warn you that the distribuion of said smarties will not be backdated and that the only smarties I had were purely for the sake of quality control!

Right, I'll be back later for some better Tiffing but until then...

Those Lovely Farmer's Daughters

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates.
The first beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?''
"No," the farmer said.
The second beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?''
"No."
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. ''Hello, my name is Chuck.'' The farmer shot Chuck.



You guys have such filthy minds - - Chuck was only going to take the 3rd daughter to feed the ducks!

As no-one was up for the smartie round, I'm back off to my cat basket for a well-earned break. Have a wonderful Sunday peeps.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

week

meyore wrote: »

I put in for extra overtime today so I had something to do, otherwise I wouldn't have got out of bed at all. I got home at 2 and have been in bed pretty much ever since. I don't want to spend the next 2 weeks here though.

I'll probably just throw myself into going to the gym, sounds like a good plan.

I hope you're doing ok.

Xx

I also think you should consider the AD short term. Although I have a mental illness and take them for that, my mother,sis in law and friend have taken them over the last two years for circumstantial depression. They are not the answer for any type of depression but can help. They give you a lift so things dont seem so bleak and can stop you feeling so anxious. The counsellor would also help, I have seen loads and it is a chance to talk and get another unbiased persons input.
Take care.
K.

Sazbo

Tiff wrote: »

sazzy - and just what were you doing out at 1.28a.m., young lady?

Tiffy hun! :wave: Wait! I can explain everything! :rotfl:

Good morning my lovlies. Not awake yet, I need a cuppa, then oil be back:D

Eff sweetheart, how you get on yesterday? x

Have a good day everyone,
Sazzy xxxxx

EthelBloggs

Tiff wrote: »

Hi guys!:hello:
Morning guys - evening sazzy!
Where do I start?!

ethel - hi sweetheart! How's everything hunnie? Hope the family are doing well, ethel. How did the support group go yesterday - any help to you angel? Ever an inspiration to us all. What about this epic essay, ethel? Have you had the mark yet? I hope you remembered to translate it from a certain broad brogue before it was submitted. It's really good to see you posting hunnie. I'm thinking of you as always sweetie. Take care ettie b!


As no-one was up for the smartie round, I'm back off to my cat basket for a well-earned break. Have a wonderful Sunday peeps.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Support group was really good.. it was very interesting to see those who have gone before as it were and I'm confident that this is going to make a very positive change and will improve my mobility and aches n pains etc no end

There was no brogue in my essay tyvm, lol.. gazbag volunteered to help and then disappeared, so it was all my own work, full of blood, sweat and tears :eek: I think I'lll get the mark this week or next, not sure tbh.

tiffy I think I wrote down your phone number wrongly cos it doesn't go thru when I try to ring you, could you email or pm it to me again please when you have a spare moment

Hope you're doing ok.. xxx