Depression Support Thread

Horasio

Not the best Valentine's day.

We saw two houses and they were pretty grim

We went for a drink at the Dalmahoy Hotel near Edinburgh and it was dreadful. The place is beautiful but spoilt by staff that wouldn't be out of place working in a sadistic prison. We wanted a nice drink but it was spoilt by the dreadful atmosphere and service. I am so glad we didn't eat there.

We are going away this weekend and hope we have a better time than we had up here. Generally the service is very good round Edinburgh but when they get it wrong, they muck if big time.

Horasio

Stephb1986 wrote: »

Its a volkswagen eos its the hard top convertible
http://www.vw.com/eos/en/us/

mines that colour with them wheels

i had a car crash thats why im getting it i would no way be able to afford it if i didnt.

the car i have at the moment is X reg

Big hugs

Steph xxx

We had a look at that one - it is a lovely car but has very little boot space. The 307cc has no headroom in the back. The Ford is hard to get and seems a bit flimsy. The Megane was cr*p.

We ended up with the Astra Twintop which isn't bad but have had problems with a leaky boot and the mat has gone rotten, and a microchip went and the roof played up. We hired a Saab which was lovely but only had a soft top and limited boot space too.

The Tigra and 206cc are a bit small.

cat9586

CCStar wrote: »

Not the best Valentine's day.

We saw two houses and they were pretty grim

We went for a drink at the Dalmahoy Hotel near Edinburgh and it was dreadful. The place is beautiful but spoilt by staff that wouldn't be out of place working in a sadistic prison. We wanted a nice drink but it was spoilt by the dreadful atmosphere and service. I am so glad we didn't eat there.

We are going away this weekend and hope we have a better time than we had up here. Generally the service is very good round Edinburgh but when they get it wrong, they muck if big time.

I hope you have a better time at the weekend. There are many places I avoid because of the staff, which is ashame as I tend to like the place.

feelinggood_2

Feeling a little better this morning. Its hard to just sit with emotions and feel them, but its getting easier.

I got a text from her last night, and she seems keen to not let this ruin our friendship. I'll see her tonight at an AA meeting, hopefully it won't be too akward. I don't want to not feel comfortable at this meeting.

At least I'll be hundreds of miles away soon! I've not started packing, think I best do that soon.

week

cat9586 wrote: »

Hello,
Sorry I haven't been around I have just spent over 30 minutes trying to read all the posts I missed, a lot to take in. Not sure if I managed to take much of it in, sorry.
I have been a bit of a mess for a while now. The whole psychiatry thing got me very emotional, then there were a few things after that, that made me a bit emotional. I now know why the psychiatrist wants to prescribe me medication for bipolar, I see myself go in and out of these mood changes but can't stop them. I can be fine, then snap to angry and will swear and throw stuff then cry and cry. Im not sure why it happens but it does without warning and I think I will take up the offer of medication.
This time a few years ago, my stepmums mum died. It was her birthday and she didnt even get to open her cards and read the lovely messages. For a very long time I didn't believe she was gone and even now I am still finding it weird. Last year I went to my greatnans funeral, my first one, it really hit me hard. I wish I had gone to my stepmum's mums as I dont think I really got to say goodbye. I stayed strong for the family but at the moment I want to cry.
This time last year I went to the drs for a regular checkup and mentioned chest pain, an ECG was done to check my heart and a d-deimer to see if there was a clot on the lung. It came back that there was something wrong, I had to go to hospital daily for a week or two to have injections to reduce clotting and xrays and also a scan of the lungs. It all came back clear and the cause of the raised results on the clot tests were never found. It may have been that the clot reducing injections helped to clear it, Im not sure. Anyway it was a very difficult time and I was very far away from all my family, even though my OH was supportive I would have loved some family around too. I told them not to come even though I really wanted them here. Makes me cry thinking of it.
Just very lost at the moment. Last CPN appointment coming up too Going to miss her, she was like a friend. Washing Machine has died Wireless Mouse and Keyboard died Feels like everything/everyone around me is giving up on me, I dont have the strength to deal with all this, its so hard I just wish everything was normal
Anyways sorry to burden you all just needed to chat.
Sorry again
C

I was sad when I read your post, I can sympathise so much. My gran died in 1989 aged about 59) and my aunt about 15 years ago(she was only 42). I used to talk to them when I was very down and crying. I dont mean they were there but that their spirits were listening to me. They never answered back but I felt they could hear me and imagined them sitting together looking at me. I was so upset at the mess I had made of my life and how they could see it, I would apologise to them and say "why is all of this happening to me?"
If your moods are going up and down you might benefit from a mood stabiliser.
What medication is you doctor thinking of for?
Ive tried most of them but am currently on AD only as I spent 9 months stable but depressed on anti psychotics. I feel quite high most of the time at the moment and use a small dose of seroquel most nights to help me sleep. I prefer high to low but it makes me seem mad to most people and I have a "devil may care" attitude to most things.
I would love to be "normal" but probably never will be. I have spent 3 years trying different medications and am back at square one at the moment. The side effects on the meds can be quite hard to handle. I had to take 2 weeks off work in Nov 06 after the meds made me like a zombie. My manager then found out about my illness(although HR at work knew as I needed my Doc to send a letter re my illness before I got the job) and treated me differently. I was graded badly at my end of year review in Dec 06(totally unjusifiably) and think it was to try and make me leave as I was a liability. I fought it and got upgraded but it was so stressful and spoiled my Christmas in 06. I still work there and have a new manager who knows about my illness but is great(even if she thinks I am a bit crazy). I got a higher grade this year and feel a lot happier at work but still feel angry at what happened last year.
Take care and hope to see you back here soon.
K.

Horasio

If feel I am suffocating.

My family make me feel squashed and I feel my destiny is to be ruled by them.

I have been a mother, wife and daughter and feel I will never drop that role and have my own place.

I feel like throwing up and certainly not in any mood to go away now.

None of them care about how I feel and I feel they are sadists. I am now prey to the bullies too - they will pick on me now. It always goes this way. When life goes wrong, people and things gang up.

Diamond78

CCStar wrote: »

If feel I am suffocating.

My family make me feel squashed and I feel my destiny is to be ruled by them.

I have been a mother, wife and daughter and feel I will never drop that role and have my own place.

I feel like throwing up and certainly not in any mood to go away now.

None of them care about how I feel and I feel they are sadists. I am now prey to the bullies too - they will pick on me now. It always goes this way. When life goes wrong, people and things gang up.

awww, i really feel for you. I know what it feels like. I try and explain to my brother about how I feel and I get nothing positive back or no support. I feel that instaed of having a go at me, he should listen to what is actually happening in my life.

I havent been a wife but daughter and mother. I get no help what so ever and feel like a skivvy most of the time. I suppose its what being a mothers about but some ppl are lucky and get extra help from families, partners ect.

I adore my son to bits but sometimes I feel drained, im always knackered. I love seeing him grow up as it is me bringing him up but I feel im going to struggle for years to come yet all alone. I will have to work eventually, that is going to be hard, trying to earn a decent wage so I can provide my son with a reasonable lifestyle. He is nearly 6, i have his tenage years to come yet which is even scarier. I have no home of my own, no car, cant even drive yet, I have nothing. But what keeps me going is the love my son has for me.

Think how much you are loved by your kid/kids. Even if they dont show it much, you are their number 1.

I feel Im never gonna get better, I probaly wont but I have no choice to fight and carry on as I know my son needs me. I have many times felt like giving up but I cant for the sake of my son.x

Diamond78

HelloEveryone,
I hope you are all good and well. Happy Valentines day to everyone, i know it was yesterday but I wasnt on here.

I was very tired as I didnt sleep the night b4 valentines as my son had to go in hospital to have his teeth removed. he was waking constantly. Anyway on the morning, i rang for a cab to take us hospital, i rang 8 companies and not one cab available to take us. In the end we left and had to get 2 buses. I got there just in time although there was lots of traffic.Spermdonor arrived to(previously he had called me a liar saying my son wasnt going in hospital and he called my son a liar to saying he wasnt having his teeth out) Well atleast he came acting like the doting father.

The hospital was a shamble,it is supposeto have a good reputation but haha not this, maybbe coz its nhs I dont know but they messed up and my son was last to go in. We was there at 7.30, i had to starve him from the night b4 and he wasnt allowed a drink. He went in for the op about 10.30.It was simple, he said mum its just like casualty in here, bless him, he put the mask on took a few breathes and fell asleep. I didnt want to leave him but i had be taken out, its not nice when they do that.he was so brave. It was 15mins later he came out, blood was pouring out his mouth and im no good with blood, poor thing was crying and screaming, think being woken up from the general anastetic made him very weird as all the other kids that came round from it was also crying and screaming. I hugged him and comforted him, while sperm was cleaning up the blood from his mouth.I was nearly sick a few times

Got home, i made him some soup which he had and we both fell asleep on the sofa and woke up to find it night time, so we watched tv, then went sleep again. his better 2day, back to his normal self although he still has the infection so he has to carry on with the antibiotics. So thats how my valentines was. No cards, no flowers nothing again, oh well-maybe next year.Hope everyone else had a good one.

HUGS to u all xxxxxx

shazrobo

don't think i'll ever be anything other than a mother/carer to my two sons, they are 13 this april, and i'm still unable to work or have a life, cos i spend my time caring for them. feeling down, feel like having a massive spending spree to cheer myself up lol.
been to look at some cars, would really like a convertable, but most of them don't have enough legroom, or headroom, which is a pain as i'm 6' 1" tall.
binge eating again, but least not sh'ing since episode the other day.
just wanna be happy, whatever that is

diamond, so glad to hear your son is ok today
shaz x

Diamond78

shazrobo wrote: »

don't think i'll ever be anything other than a mother/carer to my two sons, they are 13 this april, and i'm still unable to work or have a life, cos i spend my time caring for them. feeling down, feel like having a massive spending spree to cheer myself up lol.
been to look at some cars, would really like a convertable, but most of them don't have enough legroom, or headroom, which is a pain as i'm 6' 1" tall.
binge eating again, but least not sh'ing since episode the other day.
just wanna be happy, whatever that is

diamond, so glad to hear your son is ok today
shaz x

Thanks hun, i feel like how you do!!!I want to binge eat as in that mood(b4 I stopped smoking id starve myself but rather stuff my face now) i dnt have much to eat tho. I seriously need to do a food shop but littleman doesnt want to go out as his feeling a little dizzy and still not 100% so am stuck indoors,should of done a home shop online with tesco but to late now.

I want to go and treat myself but dont think anything would uplift my mood. Im annoyed with spermdonors mother-the wicked witch, she hasnt even rang to see how her grandson is doing, so i rang her i hate that woman so much and i dont know why i bother.She doesnt bother with my son. She has sperms 2 daughters with her so why is my son always left out, yet she states my sons treated same as the others. All these years she has told ppl i was the difficult one not letteing them see their grandson, i really want to tell everyone they know the truth but thats not goin to happen.

Hun, go and buy a nice car if you can, i wishi could but i cant drive yet:rotfl:
hopefull oneday soon i will,thanks about my son hun x