Depression Support Thread

Miroslav

Oh look at all them posts by me.

I replied to as many as possible but may have missed some out - sorry, nothing personal, I am very tired Will reply to PM's next time now :eek:

Still feel very low, but tiredness has taken over

Welcome to all newcomers :wave: I'm Miroslav, Britney's saviour and future husband (One that won't use, abuse and take everything she has!)

Right that's it, i'm off to worship the Britney shrine, before nodding off

*ommmmmm ommmmmm ommmmmm oh great goddess ommmmmm ommmmmm ommmmmm*





:wave:


Don't mind me, this is me being normal

Miroslav

Just had 2 e-mails from companies wanting me to buy for valentines days.

Partner who passed would have had a B'day 4 days before Valentines day, so it makes it a doubly horrible time.

I hate Valentines Day these days. Just reminds me

antronella

Nite nite Miro..nice to see you posting, even though you're still not in a good place right now. Your posts have brought a smile to my face though... (a great look with my bullfrog eyes tonight) Hope you sleep well x



aww so sorry..can't say anything to take away the hurt. but we do care x

Miroslav

antronella wrote: »

Nite nite Miro..nice to see you posting, even though you're still not in a good place right now. Your posts have brought a smile to my face though... (a great look with my bullfrog eyes tonight) Hope you sleep well x



aww so sorry..can't say anything to take away the hurt. but we do care x

You'll just have to forgive me (well, if you want to ) i'm a miserable sod

Sweet dreams and all that antronella :wave:

Horasio

Thank you for listening. I have felt really down this week with a cold, wondering where I can find a place to live and this atrocious weather. My OH hasn't been that great either, all work and no play, plus what I said earlier is getting me down too.

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
I hope all is well with everyone? Well, as well as it can be on a depression thread anyway. In case you hadn't noticed...




Awww - now don't you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside?
Unless it's down to last night's kebab or curry, in which case, please go and see your vet if it gets too bad!

And I must say a warm Tiffy to our new clan members - mumhug (mumh), nats3006 (nats), tote alley stressed (tote), littleone83 (lo83), piggeh and lexa34 (lexa)! You're all very welcome - and the guys here are fantastic at giving support and suggestions, as I'm sure you've already found out.
Right peeps, let's get on with Caturday. Be kind to yourselves guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
Well peeps, we had two days of sunshine this week. I hope you all enjoyed the summer!
We're back to winter again it seems, with the arrival of snow. I've been a busy Tiffster and rushing out and about - sorry I couldn't get on here. I've also had the return of my chest infection 2 days ago too. I think this will explain everything...



The catflap was locked again!
.....:think:..........
Ask yourself this peeps - is it just coincidence that the catflap gets locked whenever our miro appears on the thread?! I'm watching you young man
Even my computer came down with something suspicious - hopefully it's all better now.

Thankfully, we didn't get a lot of snow where I am - yet! - but we've got a frozen crust of just a covering of snow, which in my humble opinion, is more dangerous. And yes, I do have to out today! I can see it now - I'll be like bambi - legs going in all directions! So please take extra care guys, if you have to go out in bad weather. Will someone please pass this message on to sazzy ( - loves ya saz!), when she gets up this afternoon?
Safe journeys guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi purple!:hello:
How are you angel? Sorry it's taken me so long to get to your post hun. Thanks for posting - I'm sure the guys here gave their usual high standards of support and warm welcome to you. Let's have a look and see if we can break this down into more manageable pieces...
- OH's drinking and drug use
- OH's aggressive tendencies
- OH's depression
- your health
- counselling.

Before I say anything else angel, I want you to think about the issues you have and the timescale you're expecting. In all honesty, I don't think your problems are going to be resolved in 9 weeks. OH and yourself have a group of problems that feed into each other and whereas you can make a start in addressing your problems, they're not going to be resolved in 9 weeks. I don't want you to build up an unrealistic picture that's all, angel.

[quote=purplegirluk1
Hi, I have posted this on the relationships page but was pointed here by Tulip (thank you), I hope you don't mind me adding this as I would really like some adcive and help. I am in need of a little advice, I hope I have posted this in the right place.

My OH and I have been together for a year and a half, we are expecting our first baby in nine weeks time. Generally we are a very happy couple, we enjoy being together. The problem is I suffer from M.E and my partner has had to seriously change his life to fit in with my abilities. When we met I was well and we would go out every night, drinking lots and staying up late. My symptons became worse and by the time we had moved in together I was really ill again. I have attended M.E group sessions and we have both had to adapt our lives to my M.E.
I'm sorry to hear about your ME hun. And with being pregnant, you must have a lot on your plate health-wise. I think that the ME group is a good idea and I'm glad that you're getting some support there. I'm also glad that OH has been supportive in the past.
It's understandable for both of you to feel stressed out dealing with your health issues angel. If you have an illness long term, even though you accept it and understand it and live with, that doesn't take away that there'll be times you'll feel low or stressed about it.

My OH had coped well with it but there are times when it becomes too much for him. He has has issues with depression in his life and things have been steadily getting worse and worse for a while. He drinks when he goes out but seems to drink too much and it brings out his insecurities and worries but in an angry way. Things that have happened while he has been like this include many smashed mirrors, bottles, glasses etc. We have managed to stop this and he hasn't done it for about 6 months. Now it manefests itself as him getting angry at me, paranoid about me cheating in him or going back to my ex (neither of these things have or will happen), upset that we don't have sex a lot (not thinking about my M.E, arguments making it difficult to feel like it and being preg!), he feels like I have stopped him seeing his friends which in a way I have, he is used to going out all night drinking and taking drugs and I feel worried about this as I can't go out for a long time and certainly can't drink anymore. I get jealous and it stops him going out which then means he resents me. When he does end up going out he gets really drunk and it usually ends with a nasty argument.
I'm sorry to hear about OH's depression, purple.
I'm going to stick my muzzle in here sweetheart and be honest with you as to my thoughts. I won't tell anyone just what they want to hear if it's not the right answer, because that'd be no help, in my humble opinion. So I say these Tiffy thoughts with much love and respect, and not because I'm judging either of you, ok?
You're both in a vicious circle right now. You're about to have a baby and yet you have a man who is both aggressive and abusive towards you. You say he's stopped smashing things up - which is good - but all that he has done in reality angel, is to substitute one form of abuse for another, by turning on you instead. This is unaceptable. The aggression, drinking, any drug use and the emotional abuse in this relationship need help.
Even though you so obviously love him, you might have to become a little detached when looking at this situation, purple. If someone else was telling you the same story, I think you'd be very tempted to say that maybe you need to put yourself and the baby first and separate for a little while, until your OH has himself under control and you have worked a little on your own insecurity. Emotionl abuse is just as painful, if not more so, as physical abuse. You may not see it as abuse hunnie, but that's what it is.
I'm not putting OH down, angel but it sounds to me as if he simply can't cope well, atm, and maybe that's why he's drinking more etc. and a little space might help to take the heat out of the situation for both of you. I don't think you'll do this now with the baby coming and it's probably not practical - it's a hard enough step to take, without having baby coming and ME as well. But, if things get worse hun, you may have to make that decision now.

We are both at the end of our teathers to be honest. We hate the way this is affecting us. OH has made an appointment to see GP again, he was taking anti-d's but had recently stopped taking them as he was forgetting to take them and that made his mood worse. I want to know what he can ask GP for? We both feel that he needs to talk to someone about his general relationship issues. He has not has a healthy relationship history and he knows this now after we talked things through. Does anyone know how long the waiting list for NHS councelling would be? Do you think they might prioroties? As I said our baby is due in 9 weeks and we really want to be on the right path by then.
Any advice would be helpful. My partner and I are totally in this together, we have talked about it a lot, we now need to take action to help us both. I am sure that if he gets a grip on his depression then he will begin to feel more confident and happy with himself and that will affect the rest of our lives. I juwt wonder if anyone else has been in a similar situation or can offer advice about how to approach the GP or what to ask for?Many thanks,
Purplegirl/quote
I'm glad you've both got some insight into the overall situation. He shouldn't have stopped the ads without his drs supervision and stopping them is not going to help his depression at all. Neither should he be drinking or doing drugs hun. They both are likely to make you depressed and then you have addiction problems on top of everything else.
OH needs to see his dr asap. The dr will be able to access various resources for him, including counselling, help with his addictions and aggression. It's not about knowing what to ask the dr for angel - it's more about telling the dr your problems and then letting the dr make suggestions. The waiting list for counselling - and there are different levels of counselling - vary throughout the country, purple. A place on a waiting list is based on who needs help the most. After OH has been assessed, he'll be referred to the appropriate level for him.

I'd like to really stress the following to you hunnie...

- Yours and the baby's health comes first - regardless. Yes, I know this is easier said than done but this is non-negotiable, imho.

- If he is not going to be completely honest with the drs or counsellors then he will be wasting his time. They can't help if they don't know the whole story. They'll have heard it all before, so he shouldn't feel bad, ok?

- Problems build up over a period of time and it takes time to resolve them too. Counselling is very hard work and there are no quick fixes.

- Try and get as much support from family and friends as you can. Keep communicating.

I'm sure you'll both find it hard talking to the dr on that first visit, so I tend to suggest that people print off their posts and give them to the dr when they go. This is for 2 reasons - a) you don't have to worry about forgetting anything and b) when people post here, it's usually done with raw and total honesty and they tell it exactly how it is for them - this honesty can be really helpful to give your dr a better look at the whole picture.

I've been down into the Tiff archives,, and I'm posting some links you may want to look at sweetie. I'm not a professional and you should always check all information with your own professionals hun.MIND is a well established national mental health charity. Relate is also a national charity where you can go for counselling either together, or separately, for counselling on your relationship.

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+addiction+and+dependency.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+dual+diagnosis.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+deal+with+anger.htm

http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+restrain+your+violent+impulses.htm

http://www.afme.org.uk/res/img/resources/All about ME.pdf

I hope this has helped a little, sweetheart. I'm afraid Tiffy's running on half-power, atm. Any questions you may have from any of the above links, can be answered by your gp.
It sounds as if you both want this relationship to work and your love for OH is obvious. All you can do right now is visit the dr and follow the dr's guidance and accept any help offered.
Take everything a step at a time angel and post here whenever you need to, ok?
Good luck with your new baby's arrival, hunnie!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi qb!
I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday hun but...

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY QB!

I hope your new birthday year will bring you good health, good luck and happiness, hun.
Take care qb!
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote: »

Klose? Kadlec? Szymkowiak?

:j

[SIZE=-1]Karhan? [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]Kalousek? [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]Krleža?;):D Great to have you back Miro x
[/SIZE]