Depression Support Thread

ilovegreatdanes

hi all,
rbk....so good to hear from you.sometimes a break is good.glad you are back and hope all is going well.x
tulip...hope you enjoy the meal.x
just to clear up on one of my posts to pills....when i said that sometimes i think ppl spout rubbish, this is not connected to this thread, as i value all your opinions very highly and have come to regard you all as good friends (if i may).so i hope i didnt cause offend.have been brooding on this since i read back my post, cos im such a worrywart.
been lovely out today and me and ds have walked the dane for miles, mowed the lawn, tidied the garden, hung out the washing and had a very busy and productive day, which has strangely kept me cheerful, iykwim.maybe its all the fresh air.wont be able to get out of bed tom!!!
hope you are all doing well.
love ilgd xx

Tulip

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

hi all,
rbk....so good to hear from you.sometimes a break is good.glad you are back and hope all is going well.x
tulip...hope you enjoy the meal.x
just to clear up on one of my posts to pills....when i said that sometimes i think ppl spout rubbish, this is not connected to this thread, as i value all your opinions very highly and have come to regard you all as good friends (if i may).so i hope i didnt cause offend.have been brooding on this since i read back my post, cos im such a worrywart.
been lovely out today and me and ds have walked the dane for miles, mowed the lawn, tidied the garden, hung out the washing and had a very busy and productive day, which has strangely kept me cheerful, iykwim.maybe its all the fresh air.wont be able to get out of bed tom!!!
hope you are all doing well.
love ilgd xx

:hello: ilgd,

My meal was great thanks I am so full I dont think I want any tea tonight :rotfl: just been entering competitions again as I want to win a wii but I am not very successful at that I will plod on anyway and keep going

love and light,

Katie xxx

ilovegreatdanes

tulip....the way your luck is lately, id take advantage while the goings good.you were very lucky with the bourne stuff, cos theres a thread been started about all the ppl who didnt win it, so wouldnt be surprised if you get a wii very soon.
re the meal...you were making my mouth water when i read the menu.am so glad you enjoyed it.think the company makes it special as well.
julie xx

Tulip

ilovegreatdanes wrote: »

tulip....the way your luck is lately, id take advantage while the goings good.you were very lucky with the bourne stuff, cos theres a thread been started about all the ppl who didnt win it, so wouldnt be surprised if you get a wii very soon.
re the meal...you were making my mouth water when i read the menu.am so glad you enjoyed it.think the company makes it special as well.
julie xx

thanks Julie and please call me Katie if you like,I dont mind I am off to watch some tv,I cant wait for 9pm tomorrow as Virgin 1 the new channel is launching on freeview so must not forget to rescan again


Katie

ilovegreatdanes

thank you ,katie.x i think tulip suits you as i imagine you as a lovely flower, as you come across as such a lovely person in your posts.enjoy your evening.
love julie xx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
How are we all? Hoping all is well.
Just got time to throw this on the thread guys and then run for cover.
I know some of you must feel that I shouldn't be allowed out in daylight, let alone to be allowed to post The Tiff Chronicles, but Part 6 has been waiting for you. You were warned though.
So here for your delectation, is Part 6 - finally?

THE TIFF CHRONICLES ~ PART 6

Well, at the end of Part 5, DS had opened in the local Am-Dram production of ''FAME ~ THE MUSICAL!'' on the Wednesday night in a lead role and Dad was going to have his major surgery the next day, Thursday.
I'd never seen DS so excited as he was that first night. Talk about walking on air - he loved it! A few weeks before, I'd bought a card for DS to say 'Congratulations' and I'd written it out, saying ''I never doubted you for a minute - you're a star darling!'' That brought tears to both of us that night. Eventually, I managed to tie him down to the bed to get some sleep and I took the sound of his laughter and joy with me to bed.

I called Dad's hospital phone at about 10a.m. the next day and told him how DS had done in the show. Dad was really pleased. He was trying to keep the conversation light, as was I - denial is a wonderful thing sometimes. He told me they'd put his a.m. surgery back to about 4pm so he was not a happy bunny with that.
I apologised for not being able to get up there to him & he said it was ok, that there wasn't much point in going up now, come up afterwards. I told him I'd got to go into town for some food shopping, (Asda's like a special day trip for us agoraphobics!), and I said I'd phone him back in the afternoon, we both said 'I love you' and off I went to Asdaland.

Having successfully crammed half the store into one trolley and negotiated my way through what seemed like the whole town (who had all decided to shop just because they knew I was going and I was just starting to fight the agoraphobia!), I picked up a couple of treats for DS

and some for Dad. On the way out, I grabbed a copy of the local paper - which usually consists of about 20 pages - and I went home in the support worker's car. I set our next appt. and went and force-fed all the food into the cupboards.

I made a sandwich and had a cup of tea and opened the paper for a quick scan before I phoned Dad. I was hoping that, even though the reporter, (& DS didn't know which paper she was from - there are 2 local ones ), had only seen the show which had finished late the night before, that maybe there was something about the show in there.

I turned a page and there was a whole page devoted to the show! There was a fantastic black & white cast photo with DS front centre. My heart was pounding as I tried to scan the columns looking to see if DS had a mention. She'd started off with describing the storyline and settings etc. & then she mentioned the cast. I've taken the liberty of scanning the article and then doing a carpy hatchet edit job on it.

(Apologies for subjecting you all to a huge dose of mother's pride,, but it was his first proper public show & he'd had no training & after all he'd been through.)

I looked at the clock - it was 4.15p.m. - and dived for the phone. Maybe?! I so wanted - needed - Dad to hear about DS's part of the review. It rang & then suddenly Dad was answering. I ranted out the bits of the review of DS's part.(above) Dad sounded so proud and pleased. He said to tell DS that he was very proud of him. Then he said ' Oh - they've come for me darlin'. I'll have to go.' And we hung up.

Strangely, I don't remember much about the next few hours - DS came in from school, hugged me, said some of his friends had gone last night & were telling the others he was great in it, & I read him the review and his face shone. He cried and hugged me and jumped up and down and then asked me to read it all again. And again.
Then it was feeding time and all too soon, he was leaving for the show's 2nd performance night. His Dad & partner, her mother, a couple of teachers and more friends were going that Thursday night. I'd tried to organize it so that people spread out their nights so that each night someone he knew would be there.

Have you ever felt like you were chewing on time? Like every moment is dragged through you? I sat at home waiting for news from the hospital & for DS to come home. The last thing I wanted to hear was that bloody phone ringing.
But, of course, it rang. It was 9.15pm. I picked it up and my sister spoke. She said Dad was out of theatre (the irony wasn't lost on me.), and that he was breathing on his own. They'd got him on oxygen and sedatives and blood and drips and were taking him down to ICU. She said the dr had told her that it had all gone fairly well.
She said that there was no point in going up that night because Dad was totally out of it and wouldn't be awake until later tomorrow. I made sure she'd given my number to the hospital and gave her instructions to call me no matter what time it was, if there was any problem. We said goodnight.

And I cried. A silent crying, where tears spill and tumble and your throat feels tight. I can't tell you why. Just a release of emotions maybe. Then DS was jumping over the doorstep at 11.15pm, still hot from the thrill of performing & accompanying ovations and I hugged him and loved him and listened.
I told him what his grandad had said & DS was puffed up with pride. I told him that the operation was over and that grandad was sleeping and all seemed well at the moment. He hugged me, told me he loved me & said he was going to get to bed, he was exhausted. It was 11.55pm by now.

Quiet house. And I was quiet too, turning off the lights, knowing there was nothing more that anyone could do right now.

Friday came and after DS had launched himself off to school, I rang the hospital to ask about Dad. It was only 7.30am. They said he was stable, that there'd been no problems through the night, that he was still sedated at least until the drs examined him later when they'd know more and that they were pleased with everything so far!

I thanked God, and whoever else might have a say in it, for getting Dad this far! A stupid comparison but it felt like being down to one number in a bingo game and you've got that bitter-sweet wait, because you're sure it's coming out in your favour. But thoughts of counting chickens and hatchings kept me from getting too excited. Dad was doing well & that's all that mattered.
I called the hospital at about 10am but they said the drs hadn't been round yet & to call back later.

I phoned back at 2.40pm. They got the nurse who was looking after Dad, as they get one-to-one nursing on ICU. She said that Dad was awake! The drs were pleased with him and had taken him off the oxygen and sedatives. She said he was still very sleepy and in a bit of discomfort, as you'd expect, but that he'd been drinking some water.

She said my sister had been in during her lunchbreak (she worked across the road from the hospital) and that she was happy with how Dad was. My brother also went up after work every night with his fiancee. I asked her to tell him that DS & I sent him our love & would see him soon. I said I'd call back later.

DS came home from school, grabbed something to eat and shot off for the 3rd night's show. He'd got more of his friends, my brother and his fiancee and his tutor going that Friday night. I felt more relaxed because Dad was improving. I phoned the hospital again about 8pm.

They said that Dad was 'comfortable', that he'd had a good day overall and had even managed to drink a cup of tea & some soup. She said that he was still in quite some pain and was receiving pain relief & was weak, but that was to be expected. I asked if I could speak to him & she said he was actually asleep but that she had passed on my message to Dad that I'd left with the other nurse, when she'd come on shift and he'd said it was nice of me, bless him. So a much happier Tiff hung up the phone.

I'd also spent the last 4 days calling his brother and his eight sisters in Wales, Royal Leamington Spa and villages and Stratford, keeping them all informed of Dad's situation. The eldest sister had died the year before in her late 80's. The next eldest was his brother and the rest were girls until it got down to Dad, and then there was the youngest sister. So at 66 years old, dad was the 2nd youngest! I also did all the communicating with his sheltered housing assocation, as well as with his Buff friends in the RAOB.

DS was late in because they'd had an after-show party of pizza etc at the theatre - 1am when he got in! Said it had been a fantastic night and there'd been his tutor and a couple of other teachers there. His tutor had hugged him to pieces with pride. She'd worked so well with DS and the staff mentor in building his confidence and said it was like he was a different person when he was on stage. 2am came & he was fast asleep in bed.

Funnily enough, when I woke him at 10.30am on Saturday ready to go to his dad's for the day, he didn't seem to have much bounce left in him! He also had a matinee performance at 2.30pm. They came & picked him up at around 12pm. Tonight, I was going to see the show's finale night which DS was excited about, as being 'disabled' I'd been given front row seats.

I phoned the hospital to check on Dad. His nurse said he was fine, had been cracking jokes and was wide awake and had been sitting out of bed! She said the drs were very pleased and they were just waiting for a bed to come free on the normal surgical ward and Dad would be moved out of ICU.
I asked if I could visit on the Sunday and she said ''Of course you can.'' I asked her if there was anything Dad wasn't allowed to eat.
The nurse called across to Dad (there were no phones by the beds in ICU) and said 'Brian, it's your eldest on the phone - she wants to know if you're all right and if there's anything you'd like her to bring you in to eat?'
I heard Dad shout back in his usual bellow, ''All right? I'm bloody starving! I haven't eaten for a fortnight!'' and I could hear the nurse laughing at him. Feeling much reassured, I sent our love and said I was seeing DS in the show that night and that I'd phone later, all of which I heard the nurse repeat to him.

I didn't know then, that they would be the last words that my Dad would ever say to me...

Well, that was Part 6. I'm sure you've guessed that there'll be a Part 7. This was another tearful and maybe hopefully, cathartic session, for Tiffy.

My usual apologies for confiscating the thread for Tiff Time guys and for not getting back to you to lend an ear.
I know it's not supposed to be all about me.

I'll turn up for duty to see what exciting things you've all been up to this weekend and I will make it up to you. I hope everyone is well and safe and sound and that the smartie cupbiard is locked!
I'm thinking of you all.

And guys - thanks for being so patient with me.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

elona

(((Tiff)))

I guessed what was coming but you must have been so glad he heard how well your son had done and even heard about the newspaper reviews.

Tulip

(((Tiff))) what a lot you have had to deal with

Anyway I am off now

Night! Night!

chat tomorrow everyone

love and light,

Katie

rose07

What the hell is wrong with me?



...what am i thinking?

sorry Tiff here i am hijacking ya moment

just want to say hun, you are an inspiration, i knew part 6, and i know how hard it is loosing a love one, but esp your dad. I have read up on your chronicles, yes i finally found them all, and i hope you realise just how many hearts you touch and how strong you are, and how proud your DS must be of you


k, im gonna head to bed, not a well rosie atm

take care everyone

sweet dreams to you all

xxx

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
I hope everyone made it through the weekend safe and sound . And it's Monday again!
It's all right for those of you who get to go to work - I gotta stay here and start post duty! Have you seen the size of my in-tray?!:eek: :rolleyes:

Just wanted to say good luck to all those with appointments, tests, treatments, meetings, counselling (good luck for tonight sazzy :T), and work to go to.

And to those who are feeling poorly, low or who are struggling right now, I send you all some Tiffy hugs to cheer you up.
Oh - and this picture sneakily taken from her webcam, of sazzy on a Monday morning...:D

I think we've all been there! :rolleyes::rotfl:

Look on the bright side guys - surely one of us has got to have a good Monday?!

Stay safe everyone and be kind to yourselves and to each other.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx