Depression Support Thread

geminilady

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Hi

I wanted to say hello as I've been aware of this thread for some time now, although I've not read it regularly so don't really know who is doing what, where, when so to speak, although I have dipped in on the odd occasion when I've had time to spare so one or two regular names are familiar to me.

I don't even know why I'm posting now, apart from the fact I'm feeling pretty crap and all alone in the world and have no one to talk to about any of it.

I'm not expecting any answers or life-changing experiences - I've been around MH illness and various online resources for long enough to know that's just not realistic - I think I'm just trying to reach out to like-minded people just to know people understand and care.

I'm bipolar/manic depressive - well that's one of my diagnoses - but I also have a whole host of other "psychiatric illnesses" depending on who I'm seeing and what they decide to diagnose me with at the time!

I stopped caring about the labels they decided to slap on me long ago - just wish they could adequately treat me for at least one of my illnesses, which they've woefully failed to do for many years - so I stumble along in the dark, sans medication/treatment (bar an old faithful CPN who is biding his time until retirment) trying to figure it all out for myself

I'm currently on a mid-swing between high and low, hence why I think I've actually plucked up the courage to even make this post, but the major low is looming and I'm not looking forward to entering that phase again

Just read back what I've written and realised even that contradicts itself, guess it says more about the current state of my mind than I even realised. The perfectionist in me would want to edit/change it all but I'm leaving it be as I might eventually learn something from it.

Yes, I must be in a mixed phase after all. Can anyone here relate to this?

Hi,welcome to the thread.i can relate to some of what you said,i don't think labels really help only the proper medication or therapy.I have only been diagnosed with depression but i have a lot of the symptons of bi-polar i swing from lows which can go on for months to highs,currently in a high stage which i much prefer,when i am on a high i buy lots of things,cloths jewelry although i hardly go out except to work,also talk a lot more.When i am low i feel there is nothing to live for.Only the thought of how it would effect my boys keeps me from suicide plus i go back on the ad's if i know i am heading that way so i think i am in control.I do spend more than i can afford but not in a great amount of debt.This forum is a great help in knowing you are not alone and as more and more people join it shows how widespread and diverse mental illness is.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

poppycracker I hope you have a lovely holiday.

juno I'm glad to hear that the appointment went well. It's always better if you actually like the person. There's nothing worse than having some person you can't stand. I hope you start getting the support you need. Stay strong hun.

Tiff I am so glad you have decided to stay. It would have been a great loss if you had left. We need you here Tiff. You're such a lovely, warm, genuine and caring person who gives great advice and support.

Oh guess what Tiff? The cat flap is now locked so you can't leave

Tulip I saw The Last Mimzy for sale in Woolworths today. I must say it did look like a good film.

queensway_boy You are a valued member of this thread just like everyone else. I am sorry you are hurting right now. Perhaps whatever has happened can be laid to rest and we can move on from it.

curlywurlygirly WELCOME to the depression thread.

~Chameleon~ WELCOME to the depression thread.

To both curlywurlygirly and ~Chameleon~ feel free to post on here as much or as little as you want. We're pretty friendly here and always willing to support others. Tere may be times in life when you feel totally alone but just remember that by posting here you enter our family so please don't ever feel like you have no-one to talk to (((HUGS)))

petrichor Sending huge (((HUGS))) your way. It doesn't sound as though the Doctor was very helpful at all. Did he/she suggest anything? Offer any kind of support?

dawnylou Thinking of you and your OH xxx

gemininlady Hello hun, how are things with you?

rose How did the Doctors appointment go today?

~Chameleon~

geminilady wrote: »

Hi,welcome to the thread.i can relate to some of what you said,i don't think labels really help only the proper medication or therapy.I have only been diagnosed with depression but i have a lot of the symptons of bi-polar i swing from lows which can go on for months to highs,currently in a high stage which i much prefer,when i am on a high i buy lots of things,cloths jewelry although i hardly go out except to work,also talk a lot more.When i am low i feel there is nothing to live for.Only the thought of how it would effect my boys keeps me from suicide plus i go back on the ad's if i know i am heading that way so i think i am in control.I do spend more than i can afford but not in a great amount of debt.This forum is a great help in knowing you are not alone and as more and more people join it shows how widespread and diverse mental illness is.

Everything you've said I can relate to!!

For many years I refused to believe I was bipolar purely because of one woman I'd once met in hospital who was in a manic phase and she was totally off the planet!!! ... now that wasn't me, or anything I'd ever experienced so I dismissed it as totally impossible ... what I didn't realise though is that this woman was in a total extreme manic phase, which is apparently quite rare amongst many bipolar people, and what I've since thought of as being possibly hypomanic is actually a normal bipolar manic phase, if that makes sense lol

Yes, I also spend lots of money when "high" ... my credit cards get hit BIG TIME, but I seem to be rapid cycling much more frequently the last couple years so fortunately I don't stay high long enough to do too much damage and can manage to pull the belt in and clear off the cards ... or at least I could before my DLA was drastically reduced, but thats another story and is going to cause me major problems

I often have suicidal thoughts but then I become engulfed by guilt, and despite many previous attempts, I seem to talk myself out of doing anything


PS forgot to add that I'm far too frightened to take anti-depressants now as they seem to make my mood swings far worse and induce periods of self-harm, so now I'm just marked down as being "non-compliant" with the MH team and get precious little help since they refused to prescribe me with mood stabilisers when I asked about them

geminilady

razorbladekisses wrote: »

poppycracker I hope you have a lovely holiday.

juno I'm glad to hear that the appointment went well. It's always better if you actually like the person. There's nothing worse than having some person you can't stand. I hope you start getting the support you need. Stay strong hun.

Tiff I am so glad you have decided to stay. It would have been a great loss if you had left. We need you here Tiff. You're such a lovely, warm, genuine and caring person who gives great advice and support.

Oh guess what Tiff? The cat flap is now locked so you can't leave

Tulip I saw The Last Mimzy for sale in Woolworths today. I must say it did look like a good film.

queensway_boy You are a valued member of this thread just like everyone else. I am sorry you are hurting right now. Perhaps whatever has happened can be laid to rest and we can move on from it.

curlywurlygirly WELCOME to the depression thread.

~Chameleon~ WELCOME to the depression thread.

To both curlywurlygirly and ~Chameleon~ feel free to post on here as much or as little as you want. We're pretty friendly here and always willing to support others. Tere may be times in life when you feel totally alone but just remember that by posting here you enter our family so please don't ever feel like you have no-one to talk to (((HUGS)))

petrichor Sending huge (((HUGS))) your way. It doesn't sound as though the Doctor was very helpful at all. Did he/she suggest anything? Offer any kind of support?

dawnylou Thinking of you and your OH xxx

gemininlady Hello hun, how are things with you?

rose How did the Doctors appointment go today?

HI Rbk:hello: I am feeling ok at the moment,going to Blackpool tomorrow until Monday with a workmate then got next week got the week off work.Looks like the weather is going to be good for the weekend at least.How did your day in town go? did you enjoy it in the end?

curlywurlygirly

:d:d:d:d:d:d:d:d

Sugar_Coated_Owl

geminilady I hope you have a lovely weekend away. You deserve a break

My day went OK thanks. I went to town and then to the gym. I did enjoy it thanks

slowlyfading

feeling rubbish as usual. going to bed now after doing a 12hour day. speak later. x x

dawnylou

Hi all - I really hope everyone is well - sorry I am left behind again so will catch up over the weekend sometime

The first two test results were due back today. One was clear - the other one not back yet
Still another 2 weeks to wait for the scan though.

Still feeling good though.
Probably over reacted at first, I just get stressed out and find it difficult to handle my emotions sometimes. Don't know why. I need to fix it!!

Sugar_Coated_Owl

dawnylou That is great about the test result What a relief for the both of you. I know it's hard but try to remain positive

Sugar_Coated_Owl

slowlyfading Sending you a (((HUG))) You know we're alays here if you want to talk or rant about anything.