Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Tulip wrote: »

Hello Everyone,
well today I didnt do much as my tummy hurt as you all know already,its better now Mum and Dad came over to see me as a surprise I had lunch,then I went out to go food shopping,went to an indoor market first to get a travel card leather wallet which is great
I then went to Tescos and looked at the dvds upstairs,nothing interested me so started on the food shop,got quite a few bargains brought a doughnut at 10p I carried out 4 bags of shopping altogether,I waited for a bus to come and collect me and it came after a wait of 15 mins or so,I got on it was packed and so hot and my coat was done up,I had to keep lifting my shopping for people to get off,anyway on route home I suddenly felt strange and I felt really sick and sweat was pouring off me,luckally I was by a pole and I bent head between knees to shake off the strange feeling,then I looked up and I still felt not right,so shut eyes for a few minutes.By the time I got to my stop I felt a bit better although I felt still bad so walked home,got indoors,unpacked shopping,no doughnut was there anymore,didnt know where It was gone,could have dropped out of bag or left on bus I havent a clue,so I went out to get another one from a bakery and that was really nice so that was my day,just drinking a nice fruity tea called Tetley Blackberry Balance and its from Tescos for 79p for 20 bags and its lovely,I had a sample first and I liked it that much,I got some and got 6 samples of a different flavour
love and light,
Katie xxx

Hi tulip!:hello:
I'm glad your tummy's feeling better hun. I bet it really cheered you up to see your parents angel.:T

The reason you probably felt il on the bus was because you were over-crowded, very hot and stuffy and uncomfortable trying to manage your bags while standing. Maybe you hadn't had enough to eat or drink either?

It's a shame no-one offered you a seat if they saw you were poorly. I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead and if anyone sees a knight in shining armour, could you please direct him to Tiffy?!
Surely someone must have noticed? I mean, it's not every day you see someone bending over with their head between their knees!:rolleyes: Although there was that time when... :rotfl:
If you don't feel any better, or it happens again angel, book in with the dr for a checkup ok?

As for The Mystery of The Disappearing Doughnut...

It was very nice thank you!
You keep sucking on the smarties - well, I dipped into your doughnut!:D
Payback is sweet - and very sticky!:rolleyes: :rotfl:
Feel better hun and have a nice weekend.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi rbk!:hello:
You must be exhausted hun! Never mind - you can forget about work for the next 2 weeks angel.:T

quote=razorbladekisses;Hello guys :hello: Sorry that I haven't posted here recently. Work is taking up my life atm Only tomorrow morning to go and then I'm off for 2 weeks :j although there is so much left to do at work Oh well. I have done my best.
No-one can ask for more than that hun.;)


Ethel must be about because she wrote on my facebook wall.
Ethel! :j :T

WELCOME to all the new posters The depression thread family is getting bigger each day You guys offer so much support, it's fantastic.
It's all right for you to say that - you should see the size of the smartie bill!!!:eek:
Don't forget hun - you're very much a part of the family. (...so could you pay half please? sazzy's gone off with the hat fund.:eek: )
Thy're a lovely crowd hun.;)

I am OK atm. I think work is a good distraction and I like being able to help others I haven't self-harmed or overdosed in over a month now so I'm really pleased about that. Thoughts of overdosing have come into my mind a few times but I haven't acted on them. So yeah I am OK
You should feel so proud of yourself - keep up the good work hun!:T :A

I have been dieting since last Sunday. Eaten 30g of Special K for breakfast and lunch all week and been to the gym. I haven't felt that hungry either.
Just make sue you have something little and often ok angel?


I miss posting on here. Hopefully I will be back to regular posting soon so that I can catch up with you all properly.
We missed you too and we understand angel. It's just good to hear you're doing well.;)


Tiff, What lovely photo's. You look stunning!
Is that stunning as in scary?:D The quality of photofits these days is amazing!:eek: :rotfl:
Thank you angel - most kind of you.
Have a great weeekend sweetheart.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

[/quote]

Tiff_2

formally, judders!
Hope you're well.


quote=judderman62;
Evening all :hello:
Wasn't that Jack Warner on Dixon of Dock Green who said that? Not that I'd remember of course - after all, it was on in the 70's.:eek:

Oh for the likes of Steptoe and Son, Alf Garnett, Les Dawson, The Young Ones, Bless This House, Rising Damp and Love Thy Neighbour to grace our screens again -very un-PC but so funny because they mocked the main characters and their attitudes, rather than the people on the receiving end. I hated flares though!:rotfl:
Ooops - digressing again! I don't drink so I can't use that as an excuse - sorry!:rolleyes:

Well seeing as I've made a few posts in this thread already I figured an introduction and some background might be in order .So grab a brew get comfy , kick of your slippers and relax :D



Also toward the end just want to check that you are all happy for me to be here - so if you get bored with everything else please just let me know if you are happy for me to be here.
ok.

I'm 45 , live on my own in a housing association flat.
As mentioned elsewhere I already know Zippy from elsewhere on MSE and elsewhere on-line.
Not sure when I started with depression but it hit a peak
when I was 34 - I was hit with a final written warning by an employer and it hit me hard.
To get something like that hun can be devastating. As you might agree, depression builds up - like rain in a barrel - and all it takes is one more drop for it to overflow.:o

There is a section in the book "The Road Less Traveled" by M Scott Peck headed : "The Usefulness of Depression" - 1st time I saw that I thought what a load of [strike]bolloc[/strike] nonsense and made me quite angry. However at some point down the line I understood - for me at any rate - as it was the depression that kicked in that caused me to take a long and hard look at myself and I decided I HAD to change.
The book sounds interesting judders. It seems as though it helped you reach a point where you came to terms with depression and the idea of changing. That must have taken a lot of courage to face.:T

I read a book called 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coehlo. I can't describe what this book does to you. You have to get 2 or 3 chapters in to get used to the storyline, but I couldn't put it down afterwards. It is a fictional piece and is about a boy who's a goatherder in the Far East, going on a journey, physically and metaphorically.

Yes, I know - it would have been the last subject I thought I'd read, but there's a magic in the pages and you begin to realise all kinds of things. It's almost like an adult Aesop's fable, with philosophy and psychology thrown in for good measure. I've read it 3 times and you take something from it every time!
Sorry - I'm doing it again aren't I?:rolleyes:


I did two things (don't now recall the order) :
1) Went to see a psychologist - he used cognitive therapy - which was perfect for me.
CBT is amazing and has worked wonders for me and some others. Hard work, constant practice but I highly recommend it - not that I'm a professional in any way.;)

2) I signed up to an Assertiveness course - best £34 I ever spent in my life - the course was good, but best bit was I met an absolutely amazing bunch of people and once the course came to an end we carried on meeting up at our homes and formed a self help group that continued for some months - absolutely amazing. Also remained good friends with 3 of the people until the friendships just drifted away, but that's Ok sometimes it happens and we change and maybe we're not a good fit any more.
As I mentioned in one of my replies today, people seem to dip in and out of our lives and as you say judders, it can be a natural progression. It's not a bad thing necessarily.


I then got hooked up with a counsellor through Mind and saw him for quite a while at his home - it was very hard work at times and occasionally emotionally exhausting - I remember on one of my 1st visits (1st , 2nd or third not sure) breaking down and crying about something from my past that I didn't even realise I was so upset about.

This chap helped me a lot and was the best counsellor I ever had. Sometime later on I hooked up with another counsellor who was very god and for a while I was seeing both these people - which proved to be very useful as there was a time when something the second counsellor said really upset me and I was not sure if I was going to return to her again. I discussed this with the other counsellor as a consequence of which I went back and the relation ship with the second counsellor went to a much, much deepr, more open and honest level - superb.
I'm really pleased you got such a good experience with your counselling hun. I've heard that it's not usually a good idea to see different counsellors at the same time - their methods and theories may differ and confuse you. I'm glad it worked out for you angel and it can be a real bonus to share the journey with others - depression wants you all to itself, so having others feeling the same way and earning together must have been reassuring.



I have resisted using medication for two reasons:
1) I had heard from several folk 1st hand that drugs left them like a zombie and they could not remember things that happened during the time they took medication.
I don't think anyone wants to take meds if possible hun. Some people need meds to help though. It's a case of finding the right ad for you. They must have been quite poorly maybe to be affected like that - sometimes when you start, you might get some side effects.


2) For me, and this is just my opinion, doing so just papers over the cracks/masks issues. For me, and of course everyone's relationship with depression is different as are the causes, I need to work out why I'm depressed and deal with these issues for once and for all - I can expand on this if anyone wants me to.
I did take St. John's Wort for a while though.
I agree - it's different strokes for different folks as they say.;) Sometimes the meds are needed to help peole get to that point. Meds don't solve problems but they can help you feel more able to deal with them. Be it herbal or not guys, a drug is a drug so always check with your gp first if you're on meds.;)

At it's worst I went to bed EVERY NIGHT hoping I would not wake up the next day. I KNEW beyond doubt that my life absolutely would never, ever improve. I hated my life and wanted it to end - though I would never have the nerve to take my own life.
You've touched a nerve with me there judders.:o


Anyhoo here we are in 2007 and I wouldn't say I'm depressed - I would say I am pretty darned negative in my outlook, sometimes get low - varies from quite low to very low (and probably dip into depression again) but doubt I will ever be 100% free from it. I have a book that sums up my outlook on life and my personality - it's title ?

Negaholics
This is as a result of criticism from my father from year Zero to present (Inner critical parent and all that) :mad::mad:
More Tiffy nerves touched in many ways.

I suffer from:
Negaholism
Low Confidence
Low Self Esteem
Lack of Assertiveness
Low Frustration Tolerance
Sometimes a short temper

Other than that I am a well adjusted and well rounded human being :rotfl: :rotfl::p
I know what you mean hun - apart from that I'm fine!:D :rotfl:

Just to make all that more interesting I have also had a little experience on the other side of the fence in that I did and absolutely loved a basic counselling course - it was fantastic and I got good feedback too - fantastic period of my life :j :j
I did some counselling through a job I had. Actually, come to think of it, I seem to do it a lot - in Tiff's world, people aren't allowed to suffer with problems if there are answers or kind words if I can help it.;)


So with all that in mind - I'd love to pop into this thread every now and again if you are all happy for me to do so ?
Before answering just be aware of the following though - I would probably not be the most regular or active poster - as well as other threads on here and other sites I am also co admin on a forum I set up with some other like minded folk and have a life away from the computer (so why do you spend 90% of your life in front of the PC then J ? ... ah wellll - I'm working on that one)

As a consequence I would probably miss loads that was going on etc.
Anyway I'd love to pop in every now and again if that's OK and you all seem such lovely people
Thanks for reading and look forward to hearing from you all (maybe you could also tell me a bit about yourselves when you reply )
thanks
Judders/quote
This was a lovely post judders and you don't need permission - you are more than welcome. I think it's inspiring when people realize that sometimes you can't 'cure' depression or mental ill heath, that sometimes it's about managing it and so having the best kind of life you can have. Sounds so easy, doesn't it?:o

It's always good to hear about other people's experiences and insight. Feel free to post whenever you wish angel.
Thanks for sharing with us hun.:T Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

dawnylou

Morning all.
Juno - I hope your ear sorts itself out soon!

RBK - I know how you feel, work has become the bane of my life! At least you will have 2 full weeks off! Just make sure that you do not spend one minute thinking about work once you are out!
And good luck on your diet.
I'm not sure if you know about the £ for lb challenge? Might motivate you to join that if you haven't already!

Tulip - I am so jealous of you! It had better not have been a custard doughnut!!!!

Tiff wrote: »

Hi dawny! :hello:
Sorry you're having a rough time angel - is it anything in particular that's brought this on if you don't mind me asking? Smack my muzzle if it gets where it shouldn't go ok?;)

I'm sure no-one thought you were a baby hun - you must have been really upset and stressed out to be crying. If anyone had a problem with it, it's exactly that hun - their problem!;)

You obviously needed to release all that emotion angel which is good for you. You cry as many times as you need to hun, until whatever it is doesn't hurt quite so much.

You'll find that a lot of people who have counselling end up in floods of tears and often go home exhausted and usually with a headache from all the emotion - that's because, even though it sounds like a cliche, they're letting the pain out.
If you don't feel any better sweetie, visit your gp and see what they say. If you're struggling, get the help you need
angel ok?
I hope you feel a bit better this morning dawny and I'm thinking of you. Be kind to yourself hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff - I think it's just a bit of everything.
I am finding it really difficult to cope at work at the moment, I just can't hit my targets and I feel useless and also feel that I am letting my team down too because if I have a rubbish day it affects the team too.
As well as that I am not sleeping well. I am falling asleep ok really but after a few hours I am tossing and turning and waking up and dozing off constantly then I end up getting up with a stotting headache - which combine that with work - it doesn't help!
I do have other things going on right now.
I have always struggled with my emotions because of something that happened to me when I was younger that I have just never been able to deal with properly which makes it quite difficult to move on.
Also my beloved Fiance is having a little bit of a health scare at the moment - don't want to go into too much detail as I don't want to be disloyal to him in any way and he might not want people to know - but we have to wait until next Friday for results from some tests and he is on a 3 week waiting list for a scan too. Needless to say I am very worried about him, and our future together.

With regards to my emotions - I feel pathetic - sometimes others can't hit their targets but they don't sit there blubbing and I'm sure sometimes people look at me and go 'oh there she goes again, how ridiculous'.
And then I have to sit there for the rest of my shift feeling embarrassed, flustered, with my teeny weeny ego that is left crumbled even more, with a headache so bad it feels as if my head might explode.

I don't really want to see a GP as last time I felt as bad as this (about 2 years ago) I was signed off work on the sick for stress, I don't really want to do this again as I don't want to look like I am taking the !!!! and just after some time off work.

And now I'm crying again. *sigh*

Need to sort myself out as have to go and see Dad before work and don't want him to think anything is up.

BigMummaF

Morning All.

I've just remembered seeing Clair Raynor on a TV programme a few years ago, talking about depression. The description she gave of taking meds has stuck with me ever since...
"If you had a broken leg, would you refuse a crutch to help you walk & support your weight? People can see you have a broken leg & accept you need a device to help you carry on your day-to-day living. There is no difference with taking anti-depressants; use them as an emotional crutch until you can manage on your own."

How true is that?

Peaceful Minds folks. BMFx

andipandi_2

i'm all bogged down and depression isn't helping nor the fact that i am 45 soon and not really sure whether i've done anything much thus far on this planet

Tulip

Tiff wrote: »

Hi tulip!:hello:
I'm glad your tummy's feeling better hun. I bet it really cheered you up to see your parents angel.:T

The reason you probably felt il on the bus was because you were over-crowded, very hot and stuffy and uncomfortable trying to manage your bags while standing. Maybe you hadn't had enough to eat or drink either?

It's a shame no-one offered you a seat if they saw you were poorly. I refuse to believe that chivalry is dead and if anyone sees a knight in shining armour, could you please direct him to Tiffy?!
Surely someone must have noticed? I mean, it's not every day you see someone bending over with their head between their knees!:rolleyes: Although there was that time when... :rotfl:
If you don't feel any better, or it happens again angel, book in with the dr for a checkup ok?

As for The Mystery of The Disappearing Doughnut...

It was very nice thank you!
You keep sucking on the smarties - well, I dipped into your doughnut!:D
Payback is sweet - and very sticky!:rolleyes: :rotfl:
Feel better hun and have a nice weekend.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hi Tiff,

I was sitting down on a seat on bus yesterday at the time I began to feel ill so thats why no seat was offered to me as I had found an empty place to sit


Katie

Tulip

Hi Everyone,

Morning! I feel better today,had a good sleep,I watched Supernanny last night,nearly forgot and remembered just after 9.30pm today not doing much as its raining and its so miserable

have a lovely day all

love and light,

Katie xxx

*zippy*

Afternoon :hello:

Thanks for the support yesterday :grouphug: I get something into my head and it suddenly becomes all important. Its good just to see it written down, afterwards I could see I was getting it out of proportion. As you say tiff I might just drop them a line, but nothing heavy, just put it right and wish them well. Its a lesson learnt though that its better to sort things out straight away.

Thanks again

Hope everyone has a nice weekend, its tipping down here, how's your knees BMF?

Glad you are feeling better tulip

Tiff thank you for all your lovely replies to everyone, you have a rare gift there hun and you always say the right thing :grouphug:

J have a good week off :T

Dawny loo and anyone else who needs one today :grouphug:

juno

Tiff wrote: »

Hi juno!:hello:
I hope you're feeling a bit better today hun.;)

Don't worry angel - the positive bits will come back.

Let's look at this from another angle juno ok?
You're bound to feel low if you weren't expecting that news sweetheart.
Plus you've also got an ear infection so all your reserves will be low. Earache is nasty so feel better soon angel.

The good thing is that your CPN must have noticed that you're struggling angel. Although no-one wants to take meds hun, at least you know they're there to help you. Surely it's better to take the meds offered, than to struggle on slowly getting worse?

If you've been on them before then you know they worked so it may be that you can get back on your feet and your drs might think you can come off them again at some point - who knows?

I know you must be disappointed angel, but it's better to accept the help now than to feel any worse. Don't fret hun, okay? Thinking of you sweetie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

I think I'm feeling a bit lonely too, because my sister has moved out now. So I live all on my own (not counting Daddy, who only seems to live here on tuesdays and wednesdays )

Last time I was on medication, it really sent me loopy. One day I was really down and suicidal, and the next I was hyper and seeing Jesus in my fridge. They did say they're going to give me different stuff this time, but I'm still scared that it will happen again.

My best friend and my girlfriend both agree that it's probably the best thing for me though.