Reallife MMD: Should I send wedding invites to family members who can't come?

alwayswrite

YES, YES, YES send them some sort of invitation even if it isn't an 'official' one or they will feel very offended and ask your mum if she could see her way to helping you with the cost. I know I would appreciate the gesture and I would probably send you some sort of gift too. Have a lovely wedding after all it is your day and please try not to worry too much. Best of luck.

sugargurlie

It is your wedding do what feels right for you. We arranged our wedding at short notice too.

I had some friends who definitely couldn't come so I didn't send them an invite but sent them a nice email instead.

I had some family, who meant something to me, that I knew wouldn't come but I invited them anyway as I wanted them to know I was thinking of them. In hindsight I'm glad I did this, they were very pleased to have been thought of. I did make my own invitations though so the extra cost was minimal.

nczm

Obviously I love my mother dearly but when myself & OH decided on a destination wedding to cut costs (we've got 300 close family who would expect an invite if we did something local) my mother spent weeks lobbying me to change my mind and then started telling family because we had saved the money not doing it here we could afford to fly people out to our wedding :mad: after a few words we are now all on the same page with a drastically reduced guest list and mum hasn't tried to interfere with out plans again!
If money wasn't an issue would you send an invitation? If yes I would look into a low cost solutions (e-invite, letters, different invite to standard), it's your wedding do it your way

Talent

Similar to 'florere'....
Send an invite to everyone. To those that have already said they can't come include a handwritten note, sorry, if things change etc.
Send a similar handwritten note to any others that let you know they can't come. it's just being 'nice'.

pippinpuss

Torry_Quine wrote: »

They didn't know the date already though and the invites were sent out the traditional six weeks ahead.
.

You say invites were sent out 6 weeks ahead of time. My hotel wanted final numbers by this date. 6 weeks is awfully short notice for a wedding invite. Our invites were sent out 3 months before the date as we both came from large families.

JimmyTheWig

MSE_Debs wrote: »

We're getting married this year, but haven't sent the invitations yet. A few of my relatives say they can't come at such short notice, but my mum insists I still send them invitations. This means doubling the number of invites, and money's tight.

I don't understand. Are only a few people coming?
Generally I'd be up for saving money anywhere you can, but surely we're only talking a fiver here for a few people, aren't we? Not worth causing agro for.

scrabbly

How much are these invitations costing for heavens sake ? If it keeps Mum and others happy another 6 or so invitations is not going to make any difference to the overall cost !
Frugal is one thing - downright mean is another !!!

tain

Loads of points not addressed in the opening post.

- They might say they're not coming, but is there any chance that might change? If your wedding is in 2015 then tons could change, but little chance of that if it's in May this year.

- Will they appreciate the sentiment? There are quite a few people who are saving mine and my finac!s invites as they think they're cute and they're sentimental people.

- How much extra is it really going to cost? An extra £50 on top of a £20,000 wedding is hardly nominal in the grand scheme of things, and you've already budgeted for them I'd guess.

- Can you get away with sending them a cheaper invite than the proper ones?

- Are they likely to send you a wedding present?

- Are they on the list of people you want to invite, or are just obliged to invite?

- Have you already paid for some of the invites? Because it sounds like they're a bit overpriced.

- If your mum is already advising you to send them an invite, is this because she knows something you don't? For instance, they've already said they would still like an invite, or they're a bit miffed you've sent the others and not theirs.

Voice_OfReason

Your having a wedding because you want to get married, not as an excuse for a family gathering!
Point #1. It's your day, not your Mum's.
#2. Invite the people you want to be there. If they've already told you they can't come then don't waste time/money.

Have a good day and don't worry about sending an invite, I'm busy that day!

catkan

I'd buy some inexpensive cards and add a small note to say that you're sorry that they can't join you, etc.

Hopefully this gesture will keep everyone happy.

Have a great day...