Would you speak to the school?

balletshoes

don't be livid with anyone, or annoyed with yourself. Its been happening for 5 weeks, the school management are now aware of it, and it can be sorted out before school starts again. Talk to the DH, get it resolved, and then let it go .

GobbledyGook

I'm trying not to be. I'll let it go when it's resolved.

It's just infuriating that this teacher has taken these things upon herself without any discussion. My daughter's teacher should have her best interests at heart and in this case she hasn't - she has had Y's. Either that or she has not taken the time (or have the brains) to understand the impact things have on her. None of which are hugely confidence inspiring. It's also not great for me that the neither DH and the SENCO, who both have very regular contact with my DD were aware of anything.

GobbledyGook

Sorry, I meant to come back to this and the other school thread reminded me.

Had a very productive meeting with the Deputy Head and things are going back to how they were meant to be. DD was told this morning that if she ever wants to sit at the office with Y then she can, but that it's entirely up to her. She is allowed to sit in the DH's office with her book if she wants. I'm glad I made a fuss as she came home today full of delighted that she doesn't "have to" sit with Y because apparently on some day she just really can't be bothered listening to someone talk for the whole break. She said she might sometimes because it is a shame Y sits herself a lot, but not this week because she hasn't been out to play for ages.

To give the school their dues the DH was excellent when I went to speak to her. Understood my concerns and annoyance completely and agreed it wasn't right the plans put in place for my DD had changed without any warning.

Her teacher was in and joined the meeting. She's young and said herself she maybe was being a bit idealistic. She was mortified when she realised that some of the things she'd discussed with DD (and presumably Y) could be a complete breach of the other's privacy/confidentiality.

I was quite frank in the meeting. I don't want DD believing it's acceptable to behave like a brat because she has health issues and I don't particularly want her making friends with someone who is being brought up with that attitude. If she decides to be friends with her then I have to accept that, but I don't want any forced friendships (I don't want any forcing of friendships at all - making friends is an important lesson for children to learn imo) encouraging it.

So she was mortified, the DH was firm (I think she got her knuckles rapped privately) and I'm pacified.

On the downside/otherside they are merging with another school in the summer (hence the staff being in) and by the time I left I'd ended up volunteering to pitch in with packing up the library (it's turning into a classroom and the library is going into a new bit that is currently being built). Not quite sure how it happened, but hey ho!

So thank you for all the kind messages. Thank you for talking me down from my ragey platform!

poet123

A good outcome, and a learning curve for the teacher which should stand her in good stead. I am glad you are satisfied.

marisco_2

I am very glad that this situation has been resolved to your satisfaction OP. Well done on handling a situation that had caused you such angst and concern with such diplomacy. Kudos to the school though for managing to rope you in to helping them out, considering how annoyed a member of their staffs approach had made you. That takes some skill too