Mother-In-Law refuses to get life insurance

Georgiegirl256

MrsE wrote: »

On MSE if people ask a question the usual response if you know the answer is to point them to the correct info.
Not tell then to go google......
Clearly I had been on the Co-op website hence how I read you paid till dead.
This isn't a laughing matter, it's a serious subject that causes a lot of worry & grief to people, me included.
I didn't know the charity age arranged funeral plans.
Clearly you have a rock bottom opinion of people on MSE if you think I was trying to be sarcastic or cause an arguement about this subject.

It certainly isn't a laughing matter and nor was I taking it to be one.

I wasn't the only one who thought you were being sarcastic over a piece of advice which could be beneficial to the OP. I even mentioned in one of my other posts that even though I originally thought the OP was a troll, that I no longer did, and that the topic in question is a very valid and important one.

ETA: I'm glad that you got some benefit out of it.

MrsE_2

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

It certainly isn't a laughing matter and nor was I taking it to be one.

I wasn't the only one who thought you were being sarcastic over a piece of advice which could be beneficial to the OP. I even mentioned in one of my other posts that even though I originally thought the OP was a troll, that I no longer did, and that the topic in question is a very valid and important one.

ETA: I'm glad that you got some benefit out of it.

I was highlighting the advice????
In a nutshell - to make sure he & others browsing saw it, as I thought it was so important.

I never thought he was a t-word & I thought it was really rude & insensitive of others (you included) to use the t-word about him.

I assumed there probably wasn't a close family bond & they didn't want to get lumbered alone with the costs.

fin7

When my dad knew he was dying he got me to arrange his funeral through the co-op, he chose what he wanted and bought a prepaid package. He didn't want a family car, he said that as the crem was next to a bus stop people could go by bus, he gave me the money for a taxi! Needless to say when the time came I paid for a car, that was all I had to pay, everything was covered, even down to the notice in the local paper, if my memory serves me right it cost about £3000, this was three years ago.

My parents were parted but on speaking terms, my mum always said the money she had saved was to do the same thing that my dad had done, then she started showing the early onset of alzhiemers, so, I discussed it with my brother and we decided that we'd arrange to go ahead and do what mum wanted, I paid what money she had saved into the prepaid then paid the shortfall over time, this time I paid for the family car tho! Strangely enough, mums was paid about a year after dad died and is a hell of a lot more, hers has gone nearer £4000 and the only difference is the actual car.

They both knew that if anything happened it was going to be me that sorted everything because my brother is as much use as a chocolate teapot!

Things are going from bad to worse with mum now, but even though it sounds shocking to some, at least I know that there will be one less worry when the time comes.

The only remaining worry is family, but that's a whole different ball game

georgiesmum

A funeral will cost £3000-£5000 depending on what you have
If the person arrangeing the funeral is on benefits then they will get assitance.
I can see why you are angry as i had a relative who refused to get insurrance and believed that my husband and myself would pay for it.I didn't know this at the time of her death and arranged her funeral. £3,000. As we had less than £2000 in savings it left us in debt. Don't have any fond memories of her now, just think of her as a very selfish person and can't mourn her at all.
Totally selfish behavior. All you people having a go at him, would you be so willing to pay out for someone to selfish to look after their own affairs.
She will not get insurance now if she is so ill.
I did heard afterward that if you refuse to arrang the funeral you can't be forced to pay. It's the arranger that foots the bill.
Eithre leave it to someone else or get an agreement to share the cost of the cheapest funeral. IE no flowers or cars, notices, or church ceremoney. Other than that, a paupers funeral? which i would have opted for had i known.

duchy

I suspect if the poster was the child rather than just a son in law responses might not have being so harsh.

jackie_w

When my husband arranged his fathers funeral he was told by the funeral directors if he signed the paperwork he would be liable for the bill. his father didn't have life insurance and was claiming basic pension and didn't have any money to leave for the funeral. we got no help whatsoever from the council because my husband was working and had to use our savings for the bill. It was a basic funeral and cost in the region of £3500.
We were also not told by the co-op that there was an instalment plan and the lady was aware that we were debating on how to pay this. We also had to pay something like £700 up front.

I too think people who don't have a plan for their funeral are very selfish. Although we were lucky that we had savings where we could pay for my FIL's funeral, our savings were practically wiped out, and not long after that I took ill and was off my work for quite a few months, and we didn't have enough money put by to cover the time I wasn't working.

margaretclare

I haven't read the whole thread but....life insurance gets much more expensive if you're older and/or have been seriously ill.

I am reminded of my late husband, who 'didn't believe in' life insurance when he was a young dad and when it would have been affordable. By the time he had heart disease age 38 and was on a downward spiral for the remaining 20 years of his life, he was uninsurable.

You may be talking about a funeral prepayment plan rather than life insurance.

sassyblue

BigYin wrote: »

We would love to give her a no expense spared funeral but simply can't afford it, it would break us financially.

I know someone who's done both funerals for his parents who wanted absolutely no expense. He ordered the coffin online, their bodes were kept at the hospital until the funeral. He took the coffin to the hospital mortuary and he and someone in the mortuary there placed the body in. They were then taken in the back of his van to the crematorium where they had the most basic service.

He used to be a mortuary technician himself, it still cost about £1000 for everything but it can be done, it just means you have to transport the coffin yourself, and fill in the paperwork not to everyone's taste l know.

ETA, l think I've told you slightly wrong, he paid cash to an assistant at the mortuary and they dressed his mum before placing her in the coffin, he had to pick her up really early not just before the crem.

tayforth

fairy_lights wrote: »

I can see how it's a worry, most people don't have a couple of grand spare lying round for funeral expenses. To be honest, as much as I love my parents if they died suddenly and had no money in their estate to cover the costs, it would take all my life savings to pay for their funerals. As harsh as it may sound I would want them to have a good send off, but I would begrudge having to spend all of the money I've saved up for a house deposit on it and be set back in my own life.
So you have my sympathies OP, I actually think you're being very practical to start thinking about this now rather than waiting until your MIL dies. Funerals are getting increasingly expensive and I don't think we should shy away from facing up to the financial side of death.

To be honest, that does sound harsh.

Morglin

BigYin wrote: »

Hi all

Don't know if this is the right forum for this but here goes,
My mum in law refuses to get life insurance even though it has been discussed with her before. She has been very ill for quite some time now and I have done a little research online to see who picks up the bill for her funeral expenses. She has 3 children and my wife is the only one not on benefits and it looks like my wife would this get a bill from the state for the costs, unless she is estranged.

Now this may seem harsh but I am totally disgusted with her attitude through out the years over this and was wondering if my wife and I are over a barrell with this or is there anything that can be done to avoid paying up for her? We can't afford a £500-1000 bill even for a rock bottom funeral. Is it possible for us to take out life insurance for her? I doubt anyone would take her on though as she is in an out hospital a lot these days.

Thanks

A basic funeral (and it was basic!) cost me £4000 last year...:eek:

Cremation, hearse and two cars, cheapish coffin - I nearly fell over at the cost!

To be honest, these funeral plans won't pay out for 2 years, and no insurance company would touch her with a barge pole.

I believe the DWP give some towards funeral costs if you are on means tested benefits and have no savings.

As far as I know, there is no legal obligation for anyone up bear the costs of a funeral, unless there is an estate, so you could just walk away and leave it to the state.

Lin