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Man from the past trouble.
Comments
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If he loved you enough, he'd be with you now.He has now told me that though he loves his wife he has always loved me and feels that I am the only woman who has ever 'ticked every box' for him. I definitely still have very strong feelings for him.
Whilst there is another man in your life, your own man will never stand a chance. You cant devote your love and your all to two men at the same time.We both know that there will be no meetings or affair, we neither of us want to hurt the people who love us and we are both happy in our own way.
As someone else pointed out, its called 'unfinished business'. In other words you would never have known how it would have gone, good or bad. Since your never going to meet, why put yourself through it?We know its too late to disrupt our family lives and sail of into the sunset but it doesn't stop me thinking about what we let go.
One day you will probably have to, for your own sanity.Neither of us can bear the thought of cutting all contact but we have agreed that we should only phone a couple of times a year from now on.
You could be looking through rose tinted glasses or truly love him. Who knows?What I don't understand is why, if Im so happy with my partner (and I do love him) Im having these 'what might have been ' feelings for this man.
I hope it works out well for you.This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Yeah , yeah , she should not feel what she feels - but the fact is that she DOES. she can do nothing about how she feels. What would you criticise her about if she cut off all the contact but still felt the same ?(which is most likely scenario as by cutting contact their relationship will acquire status of romantic martyrdom). Critizing feelings or trying to pretend they are not there is not the way forward. Figuring out what she is getting from that contact , what need it fills, how right or wrong it is is the right way. The contact should quietly disappear/move to the back of the mind naturally , not being cut in an act of a sacrifice.The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0 -
Romantic martyrdom.... that's a new one on me.which is most likely scenario as by cutting contact their relationship will acquire status of romantic martyrdom).This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
That's when fantasies take over life completely
The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.0
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