Reeling from the Reality Check

Eager_Elephant

Brogden wrote: »

You sound like my boss :rotfl:!! x

Apologies for all the questions, just rambling and writing what was popping into my head:cool:

wantabetterlife

Was just having a read over your diary from the start HB, you have been on this journey now for almost ayear ! You are making great progress...well done!

chevalier

I guess your oh hasn't had wages or else he can get the presents surely?

suite001

[FONT=&quot]Hello History Buff and welcome!:T

Well done on taking the first steps to tackling your debt, it is do-able and you're now well on the way.[/FONT]

Historybuff

I will figure something out. DD will have to pay me back some of the money she owes me and OH will step in. It's so frustrating though. After Christmas I will have a concerted effort to crack proper budgeting. Some months it's not too bad, but this month has been shot to pieces.
Also had letters from N*wide asking me to call for review of payments...I did this in Nov. Apparently despite a lengthy conversation it wasn't entered on the system, so I had to have the conversation again! They agreed to three more months on the payment plan, then another review. I did tell them that nothing had changed and was not likely to in the next three months, so I think I will be passed from collections to recoveries in March. Fed up of them already! How people manage with third parties liaising with the predators for them, I don't know!

Historybuff

And thanks to everyone who has commented. I'm so pleased to be almost a year down the line after LBM and making inroads into the debts. Love that they are going down, but the day to day grind is so hard. I try to stay positive and thank my lucky stars for health and happiness. Just had a great weekend with lovely friends, so lots to be thankful for.

hohum

Historybuff wrote: »

I will figure something out. DD will have to pay me back some of the money she owes me and OH will step in. It's so frustrating though. After Christmas I will have a concerted effort to crack proper budgeting. Some months it's not too bad, but this month has been shot to pieces.
Also had letters from N*wide asking me to call for review of payments...I did this in Nov. Apparently despite a lengthy conversation it wasn't entered on the system, so I had to have the conversation again! They agreed to three more months on the payment plan, then another review. I did tell them that nothing had changed and was not likely to in the next three months, so I think I will be passed from collections to recoveries in March. Fed up of them already! How people manage with third parties liaising with the predators for them, I don't know!

The thing that's been absolutely revolutionary for me is setting aside money for regular bills/ Christmas/ Birthdays. Also YNAB but other budgeting systems are available If you're setting aside money for clothes, holiday, MOT etc every month then hopefully you won't be scuppered by those unusually usual expenses.If you are truly doing that, then you might have to revisit your debt paydown and whether it is realistic. It's clear that it is important to you to have small holidays and other things in order to sustain you on your journey. I'm the same. Being able to do them guilt free because I know the rest is covered is great. at the moment you are having that seesaw thing which is what I lived with for years and don't know about you, but I am SO over it!

Last month I might possibly have caned all my spending money in the first two weeks and had to really string out my discretionary money.... which was annoying, but I was doing it to keep within budget not because I had run out of money. My bank balance has been positive for the last two months which was unimaginable 7 months ago. It is a different feeling from the 'literally £12 left in the account' I used to have. I do wonder if you might let up a bit on the intensity of repayment for a few months to give yourself some space to build up some funds for those necessary and unavoidable expenses.

Historybuff

That's what I'm thinking, Hohum. I try to put the money away for each pot, but something always seems to come up. My killer payment is the mortgage at £1126 each month. The other debt payments altogether come to £526. In theory I should have enough to last with what's left, but I hardly ever do. In Jan I am going to work the budget out properly and get back onto YNAB and put amounts religiously into each area. I think my big mistake was not building up a cash reserve at the start of the DMP. Two or three of the predators took big payments out at the start and I didn't start with token payments, just went straight into the plan. I need to win the lottery.
I'm taking some of the clothes back I bought the other week for the interviews. I didn't wear them and don't even really like them. So that will be £30 back to me. And DD is giving me back some of the money she owes me, so I won't actually be penniless. I need £85 for the work night out because I have to buy everyone a drink as well as pay for my meal and £300 to do Christmas - presents and food. Thats not including food between now and then. Thankfully I have enough fuel in the car to last.

Brogden

Historybuff wrote: »

That's what I'm thinking, Hohum. I try to put the money away for each pot, but something always seems to come up. My killer payment is the mortgage at £1126 each month. The other debt payments altogether come to £526. In theory I should have enough to last with what's left, but I hardly ever do. In Jan I am going to work the budget out properly and get back onto YNAB and put amounts religiously into each area. I think my big mistake was not building up a cash reserve at the start of the DMP. Two or three of the predators took big payments out at the start and I didn't start with token payments, just went straight into the plan. I need to win the lottery.
I'm taking some of the clothes back I bought the other week for the interviews. I didn't wear them and don't even really like them. So that will be £30 back to me. And DD is giving me back some of the money she owes me, so I won't actually be penniless. I need £85 for the work night out because I have to buy everyone a drink as well as pay for my meal and £300 to do Christmas - presents and food. Thats not including food between now and then. Thankfully I have enough fuel in the car to last.

HB - seriously look closely at that payment of £526 you are making to predators !! Its all very well me saying this at the moment but you must agree, things are far too tight.....Christmas or not!

I learned that if what I was saying was honest and that I could back it up with an I&E statement that I didn't need to feel the pain (except for this month !!) If there is an agreement in place with each predator all will be well.

I know you will say that you want to be out of debt asap......well so do I but pain in the process is no good. Also......the more you pay them, the more they will expect and a huge number of people on this forum have become debt free by making F&F's. For me, that is the direction I am going to (try and) take next year. I will have to see how I go

Have a good evening HB

Brogden x

copperjar

Hope you don't mind me popping in. Have spent the last few nights reading your diary, you've made amazing progress. I have to agree with hohum and Brogden though - because you are making progress and want to get the debt sorted asap, you are living an unsustainable life. And I don't think you can even feel happy at what you have acheived because you constantly want to do more!

I was fortunate enough to live very frugally for a year and pay off the immediate CC debts, but when I tried to continue and pay off 'the big loan' and overpay on the mortgage, I couldn't do it. I was miserable, got no sense of achievement when I did pay big chunks off (it wasn't enough...must do better!) and basically had no life.

I decided that I was okay with paying things off at a slower rate to maintain a good work/life balance. My partner is on a DMP and pays very small amounts to her creditors which means 1) she still has a life 2) she's had a full and final settlement offer on one CC at 25% the balance and 3) after so many years the debt is wiped from credit records anyway. Oh, and even though she doesn't like it and is fiercely independent and her debt was built up way before she met me, she sometimes allows me to buy/pay for things so she's not on her knees struggling to put petrol in the car at the end of the month