Reeling from the Reality Check

enthusiasticsaver

We stopped buying Christmas presents for wider family a few years ago and now only buy for immediate family/close friends. It needs to either be the conversation or just do as we did and stopped buying and then the following year they stopped too. Not sure if it was a relief or not to them as we hardly saw them anyway. It is ridiculous getting into debt or wasting money on sometimes unwanted or unneeded presents just for the sake of one day.

Historybuff

Thanks, enthusiastic, I'm seriously thinking of doing that. I have cut the list down by two people from last year already. You just feel obliged to buy the presents. It's pointless. I don't know if I'm brazen enough to just stop. I am definitely cutting down on the amount I spend all round at Christmas...actually I've cut the spend by two thirds to £500 for everything and that's just what I spent on food and drink last year!

DawnW

Historybuff wrote: »

Re Christmas presents, I'm racking my brains trying to think of cheap things that don't look too rubbish. I really wish I had spoken to people and got them to agree to no presents or £10 gifts or something like that. I have got to get 18. 8 immediate family and ten for wider family, some of whom I don't see from one year to the next! It's a pain. I want to just buy for the little children. I might just do that and get the adults a bottle of wine to share or something. Hmphhh! I sound like a right Scrooge!

I would do exactly that - you are not being a scrooge. I am not sure about you, but I don't need random 'stuff' and tell my children that if they want to buy me a present to get something that can be used up in the household, such as food, drink or bath products, rather than some item that probably costs too much, that I probably don't need or want and will end up just cluttering the place up. And next year, have that conversation with wider family members early on. I expect they will be relieved to be rid of a pointless obligation as well - we all have too much stuff and less money these days, don't we?

Even within our immediate family, my children are all grown up and married now, and a couple of years ago they came up with the idea of doing a secret santa between all the adults in the immediate family. It seemed a bit odd to start with not buying them all presents, but it was their idea and it seems normal now. So each person now buys one nice present instead of lots of little ones. I compensate a bit by buying nice birthday presents, but these are spread out across the year and don't all have to be bought at once. Naturally we still all buy Christmas presents for the children, and for me that includes 19 and 17 year old grandsons (they are still my babies!)

Historybuff

Great idea DawnW, I shall be suggesting it for my lot. Ridiculous present buying has to stop.

Historybuff

NSD yesterday and another one today. Seeing if I can get to the weekend, so aiming for 5 NSD. This month's experiment is to not draw out any cash and pay for everything with the debit card to see if I can hold on to the money for longer. That way I will have a record of everything I spend.

HOK3Y

I am totally with you HistoryBuff - some of the gift giving is just ridiculous. I stopped a lot of it last year. Some friends I took some homemade baked goodies and a bottle of old fashioned scrumpy and that seemed to go down well. I would imagine a few of your friends/relatives will be relieved also. Good luck! X

Historybuff

Thanks Hok3y, and congrats on your debt freedom and magnificent savings totals! I'm definitely going to get the Christmas present situation sorted.

hohum

Historybuff wrote: »

Thanks Hok3y, and congrats on your debt freedom and magnificent savings totals! I'm definitely going to get the Christmas present situation sorted.

I have no doubt you will - seems like you are feeling more confident the last month? Considering new job, clearing the house, dealing with creditors. Give yourself a :T

Re the christmas presents, I am quite excited this year as I have some moneys set aside to get some small presents. My family are used to homemade hampers from me however, and they're all requesting chutney! Only problem is I've been too busy this year to make much. I need to do a few batches this weekend.

I am a total skinflint and I don't buy for friends or extended family. No-one bats an eyelid. I did some chilli chutney one year that was a big hit, and I'll do again. One friend I always make preserved lemons for, he eats straight fom the jar! Do you actually see the extended family over Christmas? Send them a lovely card this week to say no need to do Christmas presents, and that you'll exchange good wishes when you see each other.

Historybuff

I need to harden up a bit. My problem is I worry too much about what people think!

hohum

Historybuff wrote: »

I need to harden up a bit. My problem is I worry too much about what people think!

it's a clich!, but the people that matter won't give a stuff about value of gifts given.

And (worst case scenario) what if someone DOES think 'ooo that historybuff she didn't get me a big present' a) they would be a nobber b) doesn't change who you are, and who you think you are. Is it being seen as ungenerous, or as struggling that bothers you? If it's ungenerous, I can tell you that small thoughtful gestures always win. I always think people who remember to send thank you cards are really nice (especially because I am rubbish at it). If it's being seen as struggling, who cares? You're no less of a person for choosing to use your money wisely.

It might well be a relief for people to not have to do big gifts. A lot of people feel the pressure at this time of year.