Reeling from the Reality Check

Brogden

Historybuff wrote: »

Went to a great concert last night courtesy of the Golden Ticket won in the summer and when I came home OH found we had won a huge breakfast food parcel in the pub raffle. Great news.
On the finance front spent £40 on diesel, bought the dog food for the month £35 and spent £6 at the Polish car wash. £319 left...£12.27 per day.
Staying positive.

Fantastic news HB :T

Have a lovely break - nothing like a nice clean car I find

Back to my spreadsheets

Brogden x

in_need_of_direction

The raffle win will help with the food spends. Well done.

hohum

Historybuff wrote: »

Thanks, hohum. I think it's a conflict avoidance issue. The moment money or debt is brought up we all go on the defensive and there is a massive flare up. I avoid it because I hate confrontation. I'd rather just get on and deal with it to keep things on an even keel. Now I've had a rest and can think a bit more rationally, the £400 I have to last to the end of this month is going to work. There should be more available, but not having a buffer fund means that I have to pay for things that come up as and when. That's the killer. I have to try really hard to save up a buffer fund.

You and my boyfriend the same, absolutely loathe conflict. My two pence is don't let the fear of discomfort/ conflict make you avoid necessary conversations. As to what's necessary, well anything that would make you consider encountering conflict in order to deal with it. Whatever you decide, you can handle it xx Glad you're feeling more optimistic and great about the raffle win! Universe is smiling on you to keep going

Historybuff

Thanks, everyone. Trying my best.

midlander81

Historybuff wrote: »

Thanks, Brogden. I do take responsibility for digging us out of the financial black hole, but take your point about involving OH and others more. I think I just want to try to protect them, but actually, it's not doing any of us any favours. I find it very difficult to talk about the money situation because it always causes stress, so try to smooth things over by avoiding it and dealing with it myself. It's become this awkward subject that I avoid talking about at all costs, apart from on here. I need to think about this...

Hi Historybuff,


I can sooo relate to this! I also take responsibility but it can be a lonely place. I find It almost impossible our debt even with my own wife. She knows rough amounts but I cannot discuss it in detail and when I have tried she doesn't want to know and is happy for my to deal with it!!


Does you DH know you level of debt or do you keep it to yourself?

Brogden

midlander81 wrote: »

Hi Historybuff,


I can sooo relate to this! I also take responsibility but it can be a lonely place. I find It almost impossible our debt even with my own wife. She knows rough amounts but I cannot discuss it in detail and when I have tried she doesn't want to know and is happy for my to deal with it!!


Does you DH know you level of debt or do you keep it to yourself?

I agree Midlander that this can be a lonely place for many people
My wife doesn't ever want to hear about my experiences with the predators or my plans to be debt free and what I am doing about it. Just blames me for everything and pours cold water on all of my ideas

I got used to it after a while

Brogden.

Sorry to hijack your thread HB.......hope you are well x

Historybuff

Thanks guys. Having a few days off from the money saving palaver. Getting back on it on Sun. Hope too much damage not done in the meantime while my eye is off the ball.

midlander81

Brogden wrote: »

I agree Midlander that this can be a lonely place for many people
My wife doesn't ever want to hear about my experiences with the predators or my plans to be debt free and what I am doing about it. Just blames me for everything and pours cold water on all of my ideas

I got used to it after a while

Brogden.

Sorry to hijack your thread HB.......hope you are well x

Sorry to hear that Brogden. My wife isn't unsupportive. She is glad that I am have a plan to pay the debts and she contributes to the payments but she is just happy for me to get on with it and not tell her the specifics. It suits me 90% of the time and I don't really like talking about the grand total (40k eek) but occasionally if I am feeling tired or busy I will feel sorry for myself!

midlander81

Historybuff wrote: »

Thanks guys. Having a few days off from the money saving palaver. Getting back on it on Sun. Hope too much damage not done in the meantime while my eye is off the ball.

Take care historybuff

the_long_and_winding_road

Hi there, spent three nights reading your diary from the very beginning and it's quite amazing when reading your words the transformation to your confidence in tackling the situation you've found yourself in. In a mess myself but looking to make head roads come January 2015. I was drawn to your diary because of the similarities in respect to not being able to discuss these debts with my lovely husband. As strange as it sounds it gives me comfort that I'm not alone in this situation. It's easier not to have the stress and upset of 'confessing' and I am of a much stronger mind to deal with it than him. Very much like you I have had many sleepless nights, panic attacks etc over this. All debt run up by trying to give my family a comfortable life. I look forward to your upcoming posts and send positivity in bucket loads your way. I'm relatively new to the forum and don't know how to subscribe to this thread. Can anyone point me in the right direction? Thank you x