Reeling from the Reality Check

Rollercoaster_Rach

Hi History.....


Will subscribe to your thread I relate to your 'awakening' to CC debt horror! I did last Feb...so one year on and although debt is reducing very slowly it is not RISING and I feel more in control... a great feeling. Head out of sand! :rotfl:

I had to pay childcare for three years full time and a mortgage. The childcare was like a second mortgage :eek: I always thought 'I'll pay it off later when she's in Nursery' but didn't think about interest rising and not being offered 0% cards anymore as my credit score was bad!

I felt very frightened last Feb as the reality dawned on me. I actually remember breaking out in a cold swaet as I was getting turned down for loans etc and studied my credit file :eek::eek::eek:

I was and still am a single parent and was getting nothing at the time in terms of child support. Was paying the minimums and thought that was ok.

Had a break by suddenly being offered a long 0% CC by MBMA for 5,000 and mum lent me 3,000 0% so could pay off my highest interest card phew! Pay mum back 100 each month direct debit. Never done this before but she had money come through from selling the family house. I owe her 1,200 now so all moving in the right direction! :T

Feel daunted at how slow it's happening but with the unbelievable support of folks on here I know I will get there in the end (and have made some brilliant online friends in the process). It WILL get better and there will be no turning back! I appreciate everything more now and am so glad I joined MSE diaries :T:T:T
Take care

RRXXX

Historybuff

Thanks StressedSteph and Rollercoaster. Good that you're making inroads into your debts. I hope to be on the way very soon.
So today's progress...I actually plucked up the courage to discuss finance with my OH. Just said to him that it might be a good idea for him to move his account to another bank because the overdraft I've run up is in a current account with both our names on and it could happen that the bank might decide to offset the overdraft from his account. He was not convinced. It might take a bit of time for it to sink in. I daren't move over to my new bank account and set things in motion just yet now because once the bank is not getting my salary the **** will hit the fan!
We started off with a joint account for our finances, but pretty soon it became clear that it would not work, so we opened another current account and had our salaries put into separate accounts, but both still in joint names...seemed like a good idea at the time. That's why my overdraft still has his name attached. Didn't even think it would be a problem, but unfortunately, it is now.
What to do now then? Think I'll post up onto one of the wannabe boards and ask an expert. So that's the bad news...the good news is that I still have my tenner intact! No money spent for FOUR days. That is a record for me. I'm tempted to challenge myself to see how long I can hold out.
On another note I've decided to send off a letter about our endowment...might be too late to be taken into consideration for compensation, but it's worth a go. Posting it tomorrow.
Feeling glad that I'm facing up to things, just need to work out what will be the next step.

Historybuff

Right...had a think and have decided to go forward with the DMP. No other option really. Feel better now that decision made. Fingers crossed they all agree to the budget. If they do it will be a blessing.

[Deleted User]

I think it's great that you are taking steps to climb out of the hole. Changing your mindset and your approach to spending is hard and there will be setbacks but it is worth it. Good luck!

Historybuff

Slowly getting the message through to OH that he needs to keep his retirement fund safe by moving it to a different bank than where our mortgage and overdraft is. Not liking the stressy conversations at all though.
Just getting all the account numbers and balances ready today before speaking to the debt line people. Having trouble finding all the numbers though because I cut up the cards and threw them away in a rash moment!
Really tired today...it's hard work sorting everything out...

StressedSteph

Keep going HB, you are making great changes. think going for the DMP is the best way forward, you can always take it over yourself once you get abit more on your feet.

My hubby likes to try to ignore anything stressful and financial as it's BORING!! apparently :mad:. Someone has to do it though.

If you could just somehow get him to hand over the Credit Cards and maybe allocate yourselves some offical PLAY money each week so you don't feel too deprived then at least you have him under control, so to speak. It really does'nt matter if he does'nt want to talk about it as long as he isn't spending any money

Keep going, you are doing fab. Once you get this DMP up and running you will feel alot better. It will take time though, so set yourself mini goals and targets and keep posting here.

;)Good luck this morning xxx

Historybuff

Hi there,
StressedSteph it's not OH spending that is the problem...it's mine. We separated our finances years ago and his side of things is fine. It's mine that has gone all wrong because I was trying to keep up standards with the reduced income. What we didn't do, though, when we decided to keep our money separate was take each other's names off the accounts. That's where my problem is now. The overdraft has his name attached to it, but he has nothing to do with it, so if I move over to the safe account there's the chance that the bank will move some of his money over to cover it rather than agree to the DMP. The trouble I'm having setting up the DMP is that they are insisting that this overdraft is included. From what I've read the DMP is flexible and you don't HAVE to include every debt, but the debt charities are insisting that you do. I phoned them today to discuss it and have decided I need more time to figure out what to do. They more or less said that if you try to negotiate with the creditors yourself they are less likely to reduce interest or freeze the account. If I go forward and the bank seizes money from his account to pay the overdraft there will be WW3.
I've gone from feeling not bad about things to back in the pit.

Historybuff

I've decided to wait until next month to put the DMP through. I'm still deciding whether to have a go at doing it myself. Although all the advice I've seen says that the creditors prefer you to go through one of the recommended charities. I would have no hesitation if it wasn't for the overdraft on the joint account. On the cash front, however, I've been amazed at how little you actually need to spend if you don't want to...on the other hand it's been eight days and already feels like a lifetime! I've actually managed to spend only £20.50 in this time. The £10 I had left and £10.50 from some stuff I sold; and all on what was needed. I've got a week off now, so am sorting out and trying to get some more not needed stuff sold. Some is on ebay and some I'll take to the carboot next Sun, weather permitting.
Having a good de-clutter and spring clean this week too...nothing like it to clear the mind! The aim is to turn one of the bedrooms into my office/workspace by the end of three week.
Right. Time to get on...I'll let you know how it goes.

lindsaygalaxy

Morning Historybuff


I didn't want to read and run as you have been so brave and are doing so well. I had huge debt problems (due to a man) too when I was younger, I went with paypal who were brilliant. Sadly, I chose to become br several years later but that's a different story.


I would really recommend posting your SOA on here - if you decide to go down the DMP route (or even an IVA which you can do if you have a mortgage) then people on here can guide you what to put for your living costs. When you start and you are angry (if that's the right word) with yourself its easy to be really tough with the amounts, but you have to actually live and if you make it too strict it can become unbearable. Use the stoozing website that was posted earlier and people can help.


One of my tips is to sign up to Quidco - check there before every purchase online.


Do you have/ or had PPI on any of the cards that you could claim for?


Is your mortgage deal fixed? Once you are on the DMP it will be hard (or impossible) to change it - maybe look at fixing it now if not?

StressedSteph

Morning HB,


Sorry you are feeling like you have had a setback. Its a tricky one with the switching bank accounts. I wonder if you could just leave your hubbys wages going into the overdraft account and move all other wages/benefits into the new account?.




On the subject of the DMP. I might have been lucky but I have (without realising) kind of done my own DMP. I plucked up the courage and rang each credit card, explaining that I couldn't meet their minimum payments and could they help with freezing interest etc. They were all amazing and I have got all but one of them interest free and lower monthly payments until I pay off some of the other debts. The one cc that I didn't manage to get 0% is in hubby name and he flatly refuses to embarrass himself by ringing them up :mad:. that's why I am paying his off first.


Might be worth ringing some of them up and seeing how you get on. You could end up sorting it all out yourself. Got to have abit more willpower I suppose as its up to you to keep up with the payments rather than an official company being involved.


Keep smiling though hun, you will get there.


On the bank account subject. If you left 1 wage going in then they wouldn't start any funny business and you could just transfer money into the new account.


Just putting ideas out there to try to help.


Keep smiling. Let us know what you are thinking/planning xxxx