Reeling from the Reality Check

RainbowBridgeReturns

Hi historybuff. You sound like a coper, so I am sure you will be able to work out a solution and see it through.

You also sound like the vast majority of your debt has been run up trying to look after everyone else and making sure that they achieved their dreams, don't let this be at the expense of your own health and sanity, and don't let hubby lay a guilt trip on you.

If he doesn't cope well, as another poster suggested, present him with the solution.

You can do it alone, but why should you, surely it is time for the family to do their bit too x.

Rollercoaster_Rach

Well done! It's really daunting but you are making all the right moves.
RR x

Historybuff

Thanks to all you lovely posters...great comments and good advice. It was really hard going back into work today, the drive was miserable, but once there and immersed in the day things started to look up.
I had a really good look at the national debt line pages and find them very well set out and extremely helpful. I printed off the self help booklet and will be going through it this evening. Their skeleton letters were also very useful. I'm now having to decide whether to go with a Step Change, national debt line or have a go at doing it myself. The latter I'm not to sure of because of the bother of contacting all the creditors etc.
Got the new bank account sorted today...managed to get a normal current account with interest for credit balances! No overdraft and I didn't take up the switching service. I think it's better if I do the switching myself, so I can control it better. Also I'm not yet ready for my existing bank knowing I'm on the move. Cancelled the rest of the DDs that needed to be done and phoned the energy people to let them know I would have to pay this months payment later. They were fine, I think I have a credit balance with them anyway.
Final bit of business today was haggling another £40 off our AA breakdown cover and being upgraded to silver membership for staying with them. Why haven't I done this before!
So, having cut up the credit cards and being at the absolute limit of my overdraft, I now have the princely sum of £10 left until 23rd Feb. It's going to be an interesting 12 days!
Thanks to you all for your interest! I feel so much better being able to talk about it...even anonymously.

Historybuff

Hi Stressedsteph,
Good to hear from someone who has just switched bank accounts. What was the reaction of your existing bank when they realised you had moved? I'm worrying a bit because we have the mortgage, overdraft and I have a credit card from the same institution! How daft of us to do that. But I never thought about it and I think we felt we were being loyal to the bank that we had been with for years. I must admit I do feel a bit guilty, like I'm sneaking off! But I guess to them we really are just a number.
I shall get onto the SOA as soon as I can as any help would be very welcome. I'm finding it quite satisfying getting organised and looking for savings. I think a lot of what went wrong for me was having everything on DDs and I just didn't take any notice of what was going on in the bank because it was all automatic. I only started taking notice when things started going wrong and then it was too late!
Good luck with the debt busting!

in_need_of_direction

Best of luck history buff. You've already made great inroads to reducing your outgoings. One question though. If you're in credit with your energy supplier, why are you paying them?

skintygerlinky

Hi historybuff

Just dropping in to say hello and to say you're in the right place! This forum is really supportive and offers priceless practical guidance.

We're all with you every step of the way xx

chevalier

hi history buff. Well done on all the changes that is a great saving. I know you mentioned your OH had retired, but surely he must have wondered who your standard of living didn't change when that happened? I would lay it all out for him.

I would go with Stepchange, they are very good at what they do, and you avoid the stress of having to deal with your creditors. Some companies can be right pains when you go through this process, so best avoided.
good luck
chev

Historybuff

Hi In Need of Direction,
Re the energy...it's on a monthly direct debit payment, so it often goes into credit. I get a discount for paying by DD.
Thanks for taking an interest.

Historybuff

Hi Chevalier,
I don't know...I think I just wanted to keep things going and didn't even want to admit it to myself or anyone else. While there was some slack in the credit limits I just kept going. I feel really rubbish about it. I'm going to have to start talking to my OH about the overdraft very soon though because he's going to have to move to another bank account elsewhere so they don't set off money from his account to it. I've been thinking about what to say all week. Just going to have to bite the bullet.
So much money wasted, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

StressedSteph

Morning HistoryBuff


When I moved banks, I used the automatic switching service, although with hindsight, I think I would rather have done it myself because if was quite scary balancing what bills were coming our and making sure enough money was in each account.


When my old account with B#rclays rang me up, the woman sounded quite stern and I was terrified. But I was honest and explained the debt cycle I had gotten into, and that I fully planned on paying back what I owed. Once I explained myself, she warmed up and asked me how much I could afford to repay per month.
At the time of switching I was £750 over my overdraft :eek:. All she really wanted was for me to get back within my overdraft limit within 6 months. I agreed a payment plan for those 6 months and she was then fine. I then got a letter outlining our agreement. It does say on the letter that if I miss a payment they will request the TOTAL overdraft back immediately. Yikes. but at least they are giving me a chance.


I think as soon as your income stops going into your old bank, they will very soon be contacting you. It must set off an alarm bell in the bank :rotfl:


I was TOTALLY terrified facing hubby with the debts I had wracked up. I had about two days of questioning, and I had to go over where I thought the money had gone. Which was very hard as it has just been a trickle of overspending month by month. No big purchases. I think he calmed down when he saw I had the YNAB budget set up and I was prepared to have a monthly meeting with him to explain what money had been spent the previous month and what was planned for the up coming month. This little detail, helps me resist unplanned purchases because I know I will have to explain it to hubby at some point.


So before you speak to him, make sure you have some examples of where the money has been spent. Maybe look back over Credit card statements etc. Then have the action plan for getting out of the debt to hand. This will show him that you are ON it and are trying your best to get it sorted.


Besto f luck hun, bite the bullet as soon as you can. It is amazing how much of a weight is lifted off your shoulders once you share it with your hubby. You may have a couple of days of anger but once he see's that it wasn't just you buying shoes and facials and that it went on the whole family then he will calm down xxx