Reeling from the Reality Check

Seasidegal58

Glad to hear your little dog is on the mend (even though she is devouring bandages)!

Things are sounding really positive in the Historybuff household - and I'm very pleased to hear about your retirement calculations. Four years seems a long time, but it will go so quickly (always does - especially as you get older!). The fact that you are happy in your job will make a world of difference. If I had been a lot more clever in my own money lifetime I would have been looking at retiring next year, but I now I've got several years still to go - coulda, woulda, shoulda eh?

Your fitness plans are spot on. What's the use of retirement if you can't get around to enjoy it!:D

Historybuff

Thanks Seaside!
Another light bulb moment, I think!

Mysteek

Hi Historybuff, just been reading some of your diary, not read it all yet but was interested to read that your retirement date is August 2021, mine is June 2021! We're working towards the same goals! I've subscribed to your diary and look forward to following you to retirement. Well done on what you've achieved so far and good luck in your future debt busting!

Historybuff

Thanks, Mysteek! Good luck to you too! Aug 2021 is the latest I want to retire. Hopefully, this date can be brought forward when the debt starts shrinking at a rate of knots! I really hope so! X So looking forward to being mortgage, debt ad work free, like you!

Historybuff

It's the weekend! And I'm skint! I have the princely sum of £3.50 to last till Monday. I'm going to have to go to the carboot without even the price of the pitch for the first time ever in my life. And I'm going to do one tomorrow and Sun to maximise cash.
It's soooo hard! And daughter is struggling with her stall. Someone is opening a rival cart selling EXACTLY the same as her on 30th June, so she needs cash to buy stock to make sure her stall is the best. People are such idiots. Why copy someone else and do exactly the same thing - they have no creativity. Think of your own ideas! I know it's gloves off in business, but really, to blatantly copy someone else and open up in the same area is just pants. I'm fuming! So here I am feeling responsible and wanting to do everything I can to raise the £500 she needs. I can't stand by and let her sink - I NEED to help. Don't get me wrong - I won't give her anything I can't afford and have no credit so can't pay on tick. I know you are all going to tell me to butt out and leave her to it! But it is so hard. I know I will try to raise some money and give it to her to bail her out again. But the difference now is - I will pay the bills and budget first. The money that will go is my buffer cash.
I want to cry...

Historybuff

Today's carboot was rubbish. Total profit £12.50! But at least I'm solvent. Checked bank balance on the way and found pay had gone in early, so got £30 out! So yay! I've done this months budget and after all bills etc are paid I have £711 in the bank to work with for disposable budget, £98.96 in the buffer fund and £22.86 cash. Car insurance coming up though, so a good wedge of that will be gone soon.
Have had talk with daughter and have decided not to sub her anymore. She is going it alone because she wants to get on top of the credit accounts without owing me anymore. She also knows about the debts and wants me to concentrate on mine. Fair enough. I also want to stop stressing about her stuff and just think about mine. It's tough, though, us mums want to fix things...If I hadn't helped her out last month I would now be £320 better off in the buffer fund.
I tell you what is hard...it's leaving money in the bank at the end of the month in the bill areas and buffer fund. Im not comfortable with it. I'm so used to not having anything left at the end of the month, or going overspent that I think it's ingrained in me to get rid of the surplus. That sounds daft, but I think it's a kind of self destruct thing and instinct to get rid of the money! God help me if I ever win the lottery! I better improve by the time my pension lump sum pays out!
So this month I am aiming to solely focus on my own finances and let the rest of my family focus on their own.
Diet and exercise is not going well. I know that I have to lose weight, improve my diet and really start taking some exercise, otherwise, by the time I retire I will be fit for nothing, but I can't get motivated. I did go on a long country walk last week, so that's a start. Maybe I should try to do a country walk a week to get started. Yes...I will.
Back to the sorting out now. I am determined to have my hobby room organised by the end of this weekend.

sugarbaby125

Hi Historybuff, I know it was disappointing to make so little money at yesterday's carboot sale, but £12.50 is better than nothing. Try not to feel too despondent when you have no ready cash to spend. Remember your debts are in your control now and you are actively repaying them.

It is hard not to want to ride to the rescue for our adult children when they are in financial difficulty. This week my newly married 32 year old daughter needed to ask me to borrow £600 to pay a debt, as the Balliffs had visited her home to collect the debt and if she could not pay it in full that same day, they were going to cease goods from her home. I gave her the £600 and told her to forget repaying it, as I was able to financially afford to help her. I have given my 31 year old son a £1,000 to help pay a solicitor's debt of £2,000 plus, when he was desperate to continue his Court Case to gain access to his 2 daughter's and also told him to forget repaying the money. As I am debt free myself and have savings, I can help my adult daughter and son if they have need my help financially and I do not feel guilty for helping them. I am hoping that my own efforts at ended up debt free after sitting down and deciding years ago to tackle my debts, is going to inspire the both of them to eventually take control of their own debts and end up debt free.

My son did gain access to his 2 daughter's and he really enjoys being a father to his 7 and 8 year old.

My daughter has a 14 year old son who has been In Care for more than a year and a 12 year old daughter. Both of my Grandchildren are behaving in ways that make me feel ashamed of them, but I continue to show them how much I Love and support them and try never to be judgmental. I make the both of them aware that I can not approve of their behaviour, but I will never stop loving them and trying to make them see the error of their ways.

My 22 year old daughter is completely debt free, as she listened to me and refused every form of credit that was on offer to her from the day she turned 18. She never even accepted an interest free overdraft from her Bank. She pays cash or on her debit card. She is careful with her spending, has never smoked, and only drinks alcohol on special occasions and never to excess. She also has over £4,000 in savings, shared between an ISA and a high interest savings account.

My soon to be 14 year old son is also money savvy and is careful how he spends his £5 a week pocket money and gifts of money for his Birthday and Christmas.

I am thankful, that my 2 younger children listened to me when I tried to teach them how to think before just mindlessly spending. All 3 of us are ardent fans of eBay and they have even sold unwanted items on eBay with my help and guidance after seeing me selling my own unwanted items to raise ready cash.

I spent a year, 4 years ago joining Survey sites like Toluna, Opinion People, Kleeenex Idea Exchange, and others to raise much needed cash. In one year I raised over £800 with over £600 being from Toluna alone which was in gift cards, some I then sold on eBay to get cash, and the others were given as Christmas presents to family. With Toluna and Kleenex Idea Exchange I also got to test existing food, household and beauty products and new products to the market. I did find some of the surveys boring beyond belief, so after the year, I stopped raising money by this method.

I am 5ft 6ins and currently weigh 17 stone 6 pounds!!!!! I am struggling at the moment not to 'comfort' eat and to exercise and I need to lose weight and tone up my body. Only a year ago, I was a size 16 skirt and size 14 on my top half and wore size 14 dresses. As I own a huge wardrobe of clothes, and can not afford to replace them all, I am determined to get my weight under control. I hope we can both inspire each other with our efforts to get to grips with our overhaul of our unhealthy habits. I did complete my Race for Life this year on 31st May, which was 5km so I am not completely unfit even at this weight.

I will update you regularly on my weight loss and exercise successes or failures.

Keep the faith Historybuff and take care. You are on the right path

Historybuff

Thank you sugarbaby. Sorry to hear about your children's problems. It's so hard being a mum!
I'm definitely on it. Just had a wobble. Onward and upward!

Historybuff

Payday has been and gone and I have done a food shop that should, hopefully last us at least two weeks. The weekend carbooting was disappointing. I've come to the end of my stuff, so have given the last remnants to a charity shop. Need to sort out the loft next.
So I am now having to think about other ways to bring in additional income. I'll have a look at some of sugarbaby's suggestions, I think.
I've done my budget and should be able to manage well enough as long as I stop myself helping out members of my family. I keep telling myself I have got to keep my little bit of surplus money at the end of each month and this month I am going to do it. I have invested in a little notebook that I am going to write down every penny I spend and everything I eat in an effort to be really aware of what I'm spending and eating. it's all too easy to spend or eat without thinking.
The exercise is not going too well yet, but I'm working on it.

hohum

Historybuff wrote: »

Payday has been and gone and I have done a food shop that should, hopefully last us at least two weeks. The weekend carbooting was disappointing. I've come to the end of my stuff, so have given the last remnants to a charity shop. Need to sort out the loft next.
So I am now having to think about other ways to bring in additional income. I'll have a look at some of sugarbaby's suggestions, I think.
I've done my budget and should be able to manage well enough as long as I stop myself helping out members of my family. I keep telling myself I have got to keep my little bit of surplus money at the end of each month and this month I am going to do it. I have invested in a little notebook that I am going to write down every penny I spend and everything I eat in an effort to be really aware of what I'm spending and eating. it's all too easy to spend or eat without thinking.
The exercise is not going too well yet, but I'm working on it.

HB, I think I might be a similar age to your children or a bit older, I'm in my early thirties.

I still have my Mum & Dad helping me out, however I'd be gutted to think this was coming at the cost of their financial stability. Fortunately my Mum in particular decided early on that she would say 'no' when they weren't able to help out. They struggled when we were young and it's actually really nice to see them finally start to enjoy affluence! It also makes the occasional windfall gifts from them more valued. I don't expect them to give anything, so it's lovely when they do and I know that they give freely and without worry.

I also have started my business and I certainly don't want my parents subbing that. There's a great article somewhere I read which asks 'is your creative business actually a business or an expensive hobby'. If you sub the debts, your daughter may never know which it is, hobby or viable business. Your expertise and insight - plus perhaps being an ear to bounce ideas off - is perhaps more valuable than bailing out with cash when she may not need you to!

I hope this helps strengthen your resolve. You have lots to offer apart from being a bank, and you will probably help your children more by not always stepping in before they have the chance to discover what works and what doesn't. Sure, you will be there in a real emergency. But you have to step back, for you and for them!

Plus, selfishly, I don't want to have to worry about my parents when they are retired. If you won't do it for you, do it for your kids in 15 years time