Regrets, I've had a few!

Hermia

January20 wrote: »

If I had not taken the path I have taken, done the things I have done, I would not be the person I am today with the life I have and to be perfectly honest, I quite like the person I am today and I quite like the life I have.

So no, no regrets.


Regrets are a waste of time. You make decisions at a certain point in your life because that's what you think is right, or things happen which are out of your control so you have no choice. To look back many years later thinking "I wish...." is a waste of time and energy. It would be much better to look at your life, decide what you want to improve and do it!

I agree totally with your last sentence, but I don't think having a regret means you are sitting wallowing in it. If you made a mistake or didn't grab an opportunity you will regret it. Pretending you don't is silly.

Hermia

Tiglath wrote: »

What is it about lack of confidence/fear for many of us when we were younger? Is it something in our culture that makes us not dare? Is it family upbringing, or what? I still struggle with lack of confidence in my own abilities, and I'm in my mid-forties. I keep reminding myself that life isn't a dress rehearsal, and I don't get to go around again and do it differently.

I think with me it was coming from a family where you were supposed to do the safe and sensible thing and where it is seen as a tad suspect to have massive belief in yourself. When I think of some things I would have liked down they weren't that risky. I had two friends who went to live/work abroad on student visas. They are now both citizens of those countries, fluent in the language and married to locals. Now I realise that what they did wasn't that risky. They were both sensible girls, went to safe countries and if it had all failed their parents would have lent them money for the return home.

davenport151

time2deal wrote: »

But a healthy retrospective view is also good. Not wallowing in regrets, but thinking critically about your life and how you can do it better.

Surely learning from our mistakes is a healthy thing to do. The odd regret helps you learn what is important to you, to know which opportunities to take now.

Yes but that is kinda my point. Not letting it be a regret to dwell on but a learning curve. These things do lead us to the path we are on now.
Also I think its important to be true to yourself.

January20

Hermia wrote: »

I agree totally with your last sentence, but I don't think having a regret means you are sitting wallowing in it. If you made a mistake or didn't grab an opportunity you will regret it. Pretending you don't is silly.

If I was pretending, but I'm NOT pretending!

marisco_2

michael243 wrote: »

I have too many regrets and I am only 19!

I will have more over my life but I am starting to see there's no point caring about the past as you cant change it.

The past cannot be changed but you can choose to turn regrets into life lessons that change your future. Going by your recent threads you have spent months making many positive steps forward. Keep going.

DigForVictory

Well, I've made a couple of dumb relationship calls, but got out by dint of being young, stupid & probably unnecessarily cruel.
I've grabbed various opportunities, and had a ball, but work related opportunities I've ducked out on - probably a bad idea.
I've spent daft sums of money on things that were overpriced, & am now learning how little they were actually worth. Still pretty, but not as valuable.
I've let my bodyweight increase alarmingly but that I can & do intend to do something about!

bromleymum

Not taking a maths A level 'because the teacher didn't like me'. I am going to challenge myself in my 40s to take it.

Cheating on a lovely man who didn't deserve it. I should have been more honest.

Smoking-although have now given up really wish I had never started.

Knocking out a front tooth messing around as a teenager had cost me thousands in cosmetic dentistry work over the years and a perfect crown will never suit me as much as my slightly wonky front tooth!

System

I was never good enough. I was never going to be good enough.:(

tattycath

Been thinking about this and there are some things that have happened that were beyond my control.
I could say I regret certain ex partners-but I don't, it's all a learning curve and one ex partner and I produced my wonderful children-I could never regret that, nor would I want to.
There are things I've said and done in the past that we're not my best moments, however, everything we experience makes us the person We are today-I quite like the person I am today.
The thing about our not so good moments should make us think and aspire to improve and do better.
Must try following this advice really-I'm in a bit of a dark place at the moment-and fighting my way out of it-but it's slow and steady.

System

-not thinking more carefully about uni, and doing a course with little prospects that was never going to lead anywhere
-not seeing my nan before she died 8 years on I still regret this massively
-my relationship with psycho ex, caused me a lot of heartache and wasn't good for my health either
-suffering in silence, I wish I'd pushed for more help with my mental health, I didn't and as a result lost about 3 years of my life to my illness that I can never get back
-being crap with money, wish I'd saved more and stayed out of my overdraft
-putting myself in a Stupid and dangerous situation when I was 15, as a result something bad happened.


Just a few that really bug me even to this day