Regrets, I've had a few!

Tiglath

What is it about lack of confidence/fear for many of us when we were younger? Is it something in our culture that makes us not dare? Is it family upbringing, or what? I still struggle with lack of confidence in my own abilities, and I'm in my mid-forties. I keep reminding myself that life isn't a dress rehearsal, and I don't get to go around again and do it differently.

joeblack066

Some of my life has been incredibly hard, and some of my choices not possibly the best. But I don't do regret at all, because I have learnt & grown with each experience, and although I am not 100% happy right now, I'm working on it! And I would not change the path I have taken thus far, because I have 4 wonderful children, 3 of whom have amazing partners, and 3 gorgeous grandchildren. And my family are the world to me. So no regrets. None.

marisco_2

To me life isn’t just about maximizing the good times, it is also about doing all you can to minimize your regrets. I thought I had life sorted through my twenties. At that time in my life I could look back on the paths I had taken and was happy about my achievements and choices, totally content with my lot and had ambitions and plans for the future. Regrets didn't feature in my thoughts at all.

It wasn't till I reached my thirties that a few upsetting events made me experience regret for the first time. In quite quick succession I lost loved ones and a close friend when they died suddenly. To this day I still deeply regret not regularly telling them how much I loved them. It had seemed to me that they would be with me for quite some time longer. Losing them brought home to me that people who you think will be around for a few decades, can be gone in minutes. In all sorts of other ways I showed them how much they meant to me and that I loved them, I just didn't verbalise my feelings very often. I have to hope now that actions spoke louder than words ever could have and that they knew how I felt about them.

Vicky123

Tiglath wrote: »

What is it about lack of confidence/fear for many of us when we were younger? Is it something in our culture that makes us not dare? Is it family upbringing, or what? I still struggle with lack of confidence in my own abilities, and I'm in my mid-forties. I keep reminding myself that life isn't a dress rehearsal, and I don't get to go around again and do it differently.

I wonder about that too, in my own case having it instilled into me that my place in life was to ensure no one else was unhappy.
My regret would be always putting other's first, other people's happiness always trumps mine, this leaves the door wide open for abuse and it becomes normal.
I'm now middle aged but have finally found the confidence to tell the toxic bullies that have dominated my life where to get off, not a day goes by that I don't beat myself up for not doing it sooner, and saved my children the experience.

Toto

I've got a few, looking back my life seems to be a roadmap of questionable decisions. Mostly my problem has been being too impulsive and living for the moment. Great at the time but not so good long term when you grow up and see where I could have been if I'd have taken life a little more seriously.

pukkamum

Isn't it the case that most of us regret the things we didn't do as opposed to things we did?
I've done stuff and made some pretty crazy choices that I was told I would live to regret but I don't regret a single decision I made as those decisions have made me who I am today.

As I say I regret stuff I didn't do, not losing weight in my twenties so spending most of those years feeling bad about myself.
I also wish dh and I had travelled more.
I wish also that when I was a size 14 at 18 I hadn't thought it made me fat, given my friends were all skinny minnies, I look at pictures now and I looked amazing!
I wish I had followed my heart and done performing arts instead of child care.

However making those different decisions would probably have meant not being where I am today and I'm very happy with my lot.

SailorSam

If only i knew then what i know now, i'd readily put the clock back.
Regrets ...... always putting others first before myself. And where are they now, now that i'm the one that could do with some help.

hgotsparkle

Not taking my GCSEs seriously which I'm now paying for as I'm really struggling to find a new job and get out of this very poorly paid one that I hate so I can actually afford to save for a mortgage deposit!

lillie_put

I regret not telling my dad how much he meant to me how grateful I was for everything he did for me saving me from what happened to me
not being able to help him or my mum
as they drank more each day I regret not being able to stop them

I regret not taking the job I was offered in a wonderful restaurant
learning more about cooking
the people that owned it saw my potential i didn't

I worked for my parents when they ran a posh golf club
I did the cooking 6 days a week
I new I could cook but I also new at that time I could not up an leave my parents heavy drinkers by this time
I ended up running whole place 3 bars kitchen all the cooking ordering cleaning out the pumps cleaning whole place
until I hired a cleaner an more bar staff

I regret not being their for a wonderful friend loosing touch with her when I married childhood boyfriend an moved
to then find her 15 years later
too late she died a year after we found each other

I will never regret having my 3 sons working 2 jobs whilst bringing them up

I have regrets defiantly the horrendous things that happened to me when I was a child that should Never happen to a child

but I often wonder if things had not been like that would i of been such a determined person now?
Strong what hubby says I am
don't feel strong though
I would how ever go toe to toe with anybody defending my lads
even if it meant was knocked on my backside
I would get up and stand their again

yes I have regrets but i have 3 wonderful sons lovely hubby a 1st gran child on the way
I feel that I am a lucky person

michael243

I have too many regrets and I am only 19!

I will have more over my life but I am starting to see there's no point caring about the past as you cant change it.