Regrets, I've had a few!

itsanne

I wish we'd made more of a fuss about help for our son sooner instead of allowing people to opt out because of his lack of co-operation. But then, hindsight is 20-20.

daisiegg

In a way, I don't regret anything because all the choices I have made have led me to where I am now - and I am VERY happy now. But if I had to choose....

I regret some of how I behaved between the ages of 13 and 16. I got involved in some horrendous, toxic relationships and I put myself in some incredibly dangerous situations - and was abused and taken advantage of. I feel like I missed out on a lot of normal teenage experience because I was living my life in this way, and some of the things that were done to me have affected certain aspects of my life and personality forever.

I regret self-harming as a teenager. Not because it has affected me, particularly,but because I put my poor parents through hell.

I regret turning down offers from Cambridge and other top 5 universities to follow a boyfriend to a very mediocre uni. I ended up going to Cambridge for a post grad degree and I don't necessarily wish I had gone there first time round, but maybe one of the other places I got offers from.

I regret being too wrapped up in a relationship to really make the most of the university experience. I regret not making many really good friends at uni.

I regret not travelling while I had the chance. I wish I had done a year or even a summer abroad.

I regret letting myself gain weight when in comfortable relationships. I really wish I had taken more care of my body in my late teens and early twenties.

I regret not pursuing something creative. I regret not getting involved in any acting at university (the drama society intimidated me so I did not join). I regret stopping writing. I used to be very, very good at it. I can say that now without being immodest, because it is not true anymore. Seems like it was a 'use it or lose it' thing and I am gutted I have lost it.

So there we go. My litany of regrets. None of them keep me up at night.

Tiglath

I faced a dilemma when my Dad died when I was in my twenties. I was planning to go off grid and spend my life doing voluntary work overseas, but ended up staying in the UK to look after things. Ended up in banking, still not sure how. I enjoy it but my original plan would definitely have been entirely different:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-road-not-taken/

busiscoming2

My biggest regret is not working harder at school and then finding a career that I could get back into after having children. Trouble was finding boys more interesting and only wanting to be married and be a mum.

I wish I'd completed wearing my brace so I wouldn't have the gaps I have now.

I didn't go abroad (apart from day trip to France) until I was 40 and wish I'd done it sooner.

I wish I'd asked my Mum all the questions I realised I should have asked her before she got ill and died.

Lots of little regrets, but then again if things had been different I wouldn't have had my kids.

January20

If I had not taken the path I have taken, done the things I have done, I would not be the person I am today with the life I have and to be perfectly honest, I quite like the person I am today and I quite like the life I have.

So no, no regrets.


Regrets are a waste of time. You make decisions at a certain point in your life because that's what you think is right, or things happen which are out of your control so you have no choice. To look back many years later thinking "I wish...." is a waste of time and energy. It would be much better to look at your life, decide what you want to improve and do it!

krustylouise

Giving up college 3 months before I could've graduated with distinctions, to be fair it was due to my mums passing away, but I shouldn't have thrown all my hardwork away, I could've gone on to uni to be a vet!

davenport151

January20 wrote: »

If I had not taken the path I have taken, done the things I have done, I would not be the person I am today with the life I have and to be perfectly honest, I quite like the person I am today and I quite like the life I have.

So no, no regrets.


Regrets are a waste of time. You make decisions at a certain point in your life because that's what you think is right, or things happen which are out of your control so you have no choice. To look back many years later thinking "I wish...." is a waste of time and energy. It would be much better to look at your life, decide what you want to improve and do it!

Exactly this. I need say no more. Except - now to grab every opportunity and if in doubt think to yourself -will I regret not doing this in a few years time?

ciderwithrosie_2

Lacking confidence as a young person, I had a good few opportunities offered to me but didn't take them up, such as going to stay for the summer with my German pen-friend, choosing an art college further from home. I tend to over think things and prevaricate, so the opportunity often passes by.

When I have been brave enough to seize the moment, it has usually worked out fine!

time2deal

davenport151 wrote: »

Exactly this. I need say no more. Except - now to grab every opportunity and if in doubt think to yourself -will I regret not doing this in a few years time?

But a healthy retrospective view is also good. Not wallowing in regrets, but thinking critically about your life and how you can do it better.

Surely learning from our mistakes is a healthy thing to do. The odd regret helps you learn what is important to you, to know which opportunities to take now.

JustKeepSwimming_2

Hermia wrote: »

...I also wish I had been more fearless when I was younger. I wish I had grabbed every opportunity with both hands and did things that scared me. I wish I had realised how it is so much harder to do these things when you are older and have responsibilities. I have young friends who have done more in their few years of adulthood than most people do in their whole life.

This ^^ - so much harder to do anything when you become a wageslave with a mortgage & children. I also wish I'd considered that my health could nosedive & prevent me from doing things.

daisiegg wrote: »

...I regret some of how I behaved between the ages of 13 and 16. I got involved in some horrendous, toxic relationships and I put myself in some incredibly dangerous situations - and was abused and taken advantage of. I feel like I missed out on a lot of normal teenage experience because I was living my life in this way, and some of the things that were done to me have affected certain aspects of my life and personality forever....

This strikes a chord with me, although most of the bad things that happened to me were things I didn't have a choice about due to my very young age, so I can't regret them in the same way as my own poor choices, & there have been quite a few of those :rotfl: The main one was marrying Mr Psychotic at the grand age of 21 as I was desperate to settle down & try & build a "normal family life" - it didn't end well.

But if my life hadn't been quite so interesting, then I wouldn't have had DD & DS. I don't dwell on my past, & believe the platitude what doesn't kill you makes you stronger (or something like that) - but I do think I'm strong enough now & don't need any more trials