How much is 'enough' for a single pensioner?

itsanne

pollypenny wrote: »

I did note the other links. We are reluctant to move our current account as the HSBC one is so easy to operate on line, when we are in USA.

Santander is still dodgy on customer services, but we are thinking about Nationwide.

You don't need to move your current account. It's easy to cycle money between accounts to meet the funding requirements of each. I'm not so sure about Santander still having poor customer service. From the banking board, it looks to have improved greatly. I've found Santander very good, both for my own account and for my mother's (POA). Not that there's anything wrong with Nationwide!

seven-day-weekend

These are all very good advice, but I can't really see the OP's m-i-l ever shopping at Wilkos or hunting through coupons for freebies, she already thinks she's hard done-to enough by not being able to dine out every day. She will consider herself absolutely poverty stricken if she is 'reduced' to doing those things. Baby steps, like the OP is doing with her, are what is required.

Savvy_Sue

pollypenny wrote: »

I did note the other links. We are reluctant to move our current account as the HSBC one is so easy to operate on line, when we are in USA.

Santander is still dodgy on customer services, but we are thinking about Nationwide.

I still have my Smile account, and a Nationwide a/c, and Santander have been OK online. Nationwide are great if you can get into the branch, in my experience, but phoning them was a complete and utter nightmare last time I had to do it.

itsanne wrote: »

You don't need to move your current account. It's easy to cycle money between accounts to meet the funding requirements of each. I'm not so sure about Santander still having poor customer service. From the banking board, it looks to have improved greatly. I've found Santander very good, both for my own account and for my mother's (POA). Not that there's anything wrong with Nationwide!

I've been doing a lot of money cycling. I don't want to close the Smile a/c because we have the free travel insurance etc via that, so I have a few things going in and out of that, and that's where my salary goes. Nationwide is fairly static: the £1000 or whatever's required goes in, then some of it goes on a mortgage overpayment, and the rest back to Smile pretty much straight away. Santander is now the 'main' account, DH's salary goes in there, and I keep as much as I can there, and pay the DDs which get cashback out of it.

I've looked at some of the other 'offers', but won't take one up which requires me to transfer everything to a new account.

Anyway, good luck. And decide how far you're prepared to go to bail this woman out. Be prepared for accusations of 'stealing' her money, btw.

Parsimonia

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

These are all very good advice, but I can't really see the OP's m-i-l ever shopping at Wilkos or hunting through coupons for freebies, she already thinks she's hard done-to enough by not being able to dine out every day. She will consider herself absolutely poverty stricken if she is 'reduced' to doing those things. Baby steps, like the OP is doing with her, are what is required.

Yes, I must admit I can't see her ever pouring over the internet or newspapers etc for free coupons - she'd consider it beneath her, and it would also be far too much trouble.

I had to give my hubby a wry smile this morning when - as we were sorting out all her emails to separate the wheat from the chaff (her new insurance documents and utility suppliers etc. vs. spam from jewellery websites) - she said "Oh dear, I won't have go to all this trouble again next year will I? I don't think I could cope with going through all this hassle all over again....!!!"

You have to smile otherwise you'd scream! (or commit murder! )

I do feel she's doing our gender a disservice in being so dependent and hopeless. After I'd spent hours of my precious leisure time sorting through price-comparision websites to save her all this money, and doing all the switching for her, all that was left for her to do was open the emails confirming the new suppliers etc and filing them safely. Instead she called this morning: "After we've been to Aldi can you sort through all my emails for me. I'm inundated!"....when I got there, there were SIX!!! It took me all of 2 minutes to sort through them and file them....

I told her that she ought to start keeping some sort of simple double-entry record to track that she's staying within her income. I mentioned the word 'spread sheet' and she cut me off in mid-sentence with a look of absolute horror, so I changed tack and said 'Well, use a simple notebook then, where you can note down what you spend and the money you withdraw from the bank. Make sure you keep all your receipts and jot them in your book as soon as you get home...." and I got another look of horror, as if I'd asked her to skin baby kittens alive and use their fur for slippers!

To be so hopeless about managing your money is shameful in this day and age, when there are so many ways to keep track of your expenditure. We discussed internet banking ("Oh, no, I couldn't!") then telephone banking "Oh no, I just couldn't be bothered...) and finally a banking app on her phone ("It sounds like a lot of trouble....").

Admittedly if she genuinely stops spending on cards and moves to a 100% cash lifestyle this isn't so important...but somehow, I think she'll try to get around the card issue somehow.

For instance, although we've had her cards all week, she still managed to spend £270 in addition to her £150 'allowance' by putting a £10 deposit on one item (a wooden CD rack that she has to pay the balance when its delivered on Tuesday), and buying a dress when out shopping with a friend who 'kindly' put it on her own credit card when MIL said she'd left her wallet at home...so where there's a will to break the rules, there's a way!!!

Also, while we were there this morning, a handyman arrived to put a new faucet in the garden, to grub up an old tree stump and to put up some brackets for her hanging baskets. When we said 'How much of your £150 will you have to use to pay him?' she looked totally nonplussed...."Oh, that can't come out of my spending money," she said, "these are essentials...!"

Honestly, you couldn't make it up!

If I end up killing her, no jury in the land would convict me!!!

Savvy_Sue

All of your most recent post is sadly just examples of why I can't see this ending well.

I have a friend with an alcoholic husband. He is equally devious when it comes to obtaining money for his alcohol. How many more 'friends' will bail her out because her wallet is at home? How long before she doesn't find it too much trouble to apply for a new card, or to phone the bank and says she's lost one of the existing ones? I don't think she has any intention of reducing her spending.

Seriously, document all you do. Otherwise it will be your fault when all the money is gone, the house is repossessed etc. Clearly it's impossible to manage on the amount of money you have coming in, so you will obviously have helped yourself to hers. I do hope you didn't get her PINs as well.

Parsimonia

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

All of your most recent post is sadly just examples of why I can't see this ending well.

I feel totally demoralised at the moment, but giving up isn't an option, for reasons I've mentioned in previous posts. The stakes are just too high, and impact too greatly on innocent bystanders.

I feel like giving up, to be honest, but I need to regroup my strength and gird my loins for a bloodier battle. The gloves came off big time today (we didn't pull our punches at all) and she was shocked and tearful by the time we left.

Last week I spoke to work colleagues (in the drug/alcohol dependency team) and they gave me some useful advice re the behaviours to expect. Hubby and I had already had a long discussion and agreed that we were both expecting her to lie, cheat and break the rules, and we're trying to develop an effective strategy to deal with it.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I have a friend with an alcoholic husband. He is equally devious when it comes to obtaining money for his alcohol. How many more 'friends' will bail her out because her wallet is at home?

To be honest, I think her friends will tire of this quite quickly. Her closest friends aren't generous-natured, and I don't think they'll tolerate this too well.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

How long before she doesn't find it too much trouble to apply for a new card, or to phone the bank and says she's lost one of the existing ones? I don't think she has any intention of reducing her spending.

This is a bigger worry than her borrowing from friends, as it's something I could definitely see her doing. She's totally hopeless when it comes to finances and the internet when it suits her to be, but I think she'd learn soon enough if it meant she could get her hands on money. As I said, where there's a will there's a way. Loan sharks are another worry....All we can do is try to monitor the situation, scare the living daylights out of her, and try not to make life so impossible for her that she feels backed into a corner.

That's why baby steps are important - better to go slowly and have modest successes than to push too hard and have it backfire in our faces and go from the frying pan into the fire.

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Seriously, document all you do. Otherwise it will be your fault when all the money is gone, the house is repossessed etc. Clearly it's impossible to manage on the amount of money you have coming in, so you will obviously have helped yourself to hers. I do hope you didn't get her PINs as well.

Yes, we have documented everything! After every conversation and transaction I've keep a detailed record in close-to-real-time on Google Drive and emailed the journal entry to MIL, SIL and the 2 step-sons, to provide a full audit trail. We also haven't got her PINs and we've been careful to ensure she doesn't tell us any of her financial passwords.

getmore4less

Say goodby to anything she can get her hands on

The trustees and beneficiaries seem to have made an error of judgment on this one

Luckily you can't inherit debts so get the trust stuff sorted so it is clear what assets are hers. If she borrows it becomes the lenders problem

Katiehound

iris wrote: »

As for getting a year's worth of toothpaste and dishwasher tablets. I am a member of Pinecone (and other companies) and very often trial products for them, including dishwasher tablets, washing powder, toilet rolls, face cream etc, they also pay out £3 per trial. As the saying goes 'you have to be in it to win it':D

What's Pinecone when it is at home? I've never heard of it. Tell us all please!

iris

Katiehound wrote: »

What's Pinecone when it is at home? I've never heard of it. Tell us all please!

Have a look here


https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4588441

margaretclare

I do feel she's doing our gender a disservice in being so dependent and hopeless. After I'd spent hours of my precious leisure time sorting through price-comparision websites to save her all this money, and doing all the switching for her, all that was left for her to do was open the emails confirming the new suppliers etc and filing them safely. Instead she called this morning: "After we've been to Aldi can you sort through all my emails for me. I'm inundated!"....when I got there, there were SIX!!! It took me all of 2 minutes to sort through them and file them....

I told her that she ought to start keeping some sort of simple double-entry record to track that she's staying within her income. I mentioned the word 'spread sheet' and she cut me off in mid-sentence with a look of absolute horror, so I changed tack and said 'Well, use a simple notebook then, where you can note down what you spend and the money you withdraw from the bank. Make sure you keep all your receipts and jot them in your book as soon as you get home...." and I got another look of horror, as if I'd asked her to skin baby kittens alive and use their fur for slippers!

To be so hopeless about managing your money is shameful in this day and age, when there are so many ways to keep track of your expenditure. We discussed internet banking ("Oh, no, I couldn't!") then telephone banking "Oh no, I just couldn't be bothered...) and finally a banking app on her phone ("It sounds like a lot of trouble....").

I had to smile wryly too. 'In this day and age'....well, she sounds almost like a Jane Austen type of woman, although even they were more practical. Where can one find this type of woman except in historical literature?

It wasn't until I was given a personal accountancy programme by my late younger daughter, sometime in the mid-1990s, that I really got to grips with personal finance. It's called Quicken, I still have it, I still use it, but I believe it's no longer available. This was back in the days when I was getting to grips with the whole computer scene. I can't imagine life without it now. I check my bank every day without fail. But there are plenty of people who don't, don't want to, for whatever reason. A bit like the arguments a few years ago, when all pensions were to be paid directly into a bank. People argued that they'd never had a bank account, didn't want one, couldn't see the point....etc etc.

At least MIL is further ahead than me - she has a phone which takes apps. That means a 'smartphone'. DH and I haven't got that far yet. We have mobile phones which we use for making and receiving calls! Eventually I've no doubt we'll get into smartphones, tablets and all those things, but so far, we haven't seen the need for them.

Some people on here are far more committed to money-saving than I am. I don't plan meals a week ahead or search for freebies. But keeping personal accounts is important to me. This is the only way I know where you really see where money is going and how to save it. For me, the only way of using a credit card is to pay off the total every month. I shudder to think how much interest I've paid, unnecessarily, over the years.

I wish you well, but I fear you have an almost impossible task ahead of you.