Real-life MMD: Can I ask guests to bring a bottle?

clouds21

alwayswrite wrote: »

Years ago when you threw a party drink wasn't as expensive as it is now so you supplied food and drink as we did for our wedding but nowadays you can't afford to provide both and people should understand this so I don't think anyone should attend a party without bringing or offering to bring drink. You bet those who don't bring drink NEVER throw a party. Make a joke of it and say 'If you have any problems carrying your booze I can lend you my bags for life'.

And then there are those couples who turn up with one bottle between them and proceed to drink the equivalent of the EU's wine lakes...:beer:

troubleonline

I think it is perfectly acceptable to ask people to bring a bottle particularly when the party is large. I like the suggestion of 'bring bottle of what you fancy' or 'bring a bottle of your favourite tipple' as it makes intentions clear in a light hearted, polite manner.

What I have found in the past though is that people bring one bottle of wine which was way less than they drunk (quite possibly a nice bottle that was more a gift than one they planned to drink). Equally I have long stopped taking bottles I really wanted to drink on the night as it seems guaranteed that those one's don't get opened so can't really win lol!

This thread is quite interesting as we are having a party in a few weeks and will be providing food and some fizz. I have been stocking up on decent Crement and Prosecco buy popping a bottle or two in my supermarket shopping each week. Mainly whatever has been on offer that week! So we will say bring a bottle of your favourite tipple on the invites.

For inexpensive food I recommend making a huge tray or trays of Macaroni Cheese (or Mac'n Cheese as it seems to be called these day). Prep it during the day and pop into the oven in the evening. Whilst it doesn't cater for any vegans it does mean that it is easy to cater for vegetarians without making different dishes. Can supplement with bowls of salad and garlic bread.

Am actually trying to think of something different to mac'n cheese for next party but struggling to think of something simple that ticks the same boxes of being 1. cheap 2. popular. 3. easy to prep in advance 4. suitable for vegetarians 5. can be done in a trendy and kitsch manner!

Curries and chilli's are good for smaller crowds but for around 30 people that we will be having can be more hassle and more expensive to prepare particularly when you factor in rice and naans or all the bits and bobs to go with chilli!

savingsusie

I cannot believe the comments given around the expectation that YOU invite people to YOUR party and expect them to bring their own drink and food.
In my world if I invite people round to my home then I provide the food and drink.
If I invite people out for a meal then I pay the bill.
Comments about drink being more expensive nowadays are just ridiculous excuses for people who want something for nothing.
Supermarket's have brought down the price of alcohol tremendously and even 'party food' can be bought cheaply particularly when using the frozen food ready made items.
I find it rather sad that in this day and age people seem to be all about me, me, me, self interest and do not want to give something for other's. It's not about income and what you can afford, it's about what you are prepared to give to other's, presuming that your guest's are also your friends and family ?!!

Pinzy

It's entirely up to you. If I had money, I'd have big parties and liquor everyone up! In our groups of friends, it's generally a bottle of wine that gets taken around for any evening, and for parties, my rule is to take enough for me (or us) and a bit extra for the host, cuz they're the ones that threw the party and they'll have to do most of the tidying up after!

Perfectly acceptable to put "bring a bottle". Parties do get expensive in any day and age, and not being able to afford to cater for everyone shouldn't stop one from being sociable!

tompparker

I wouldn't ask people to bring a bottle. Of course it would be nice for them to do so (or chocs or flowers) but I'm inviting them, they are my guest and I would want to provide a good amount of food and drink. Conversely, if I were invited to a friends, I would take a bottle/chocs/flowers and try to be a good guest. Amongst my friends it is not even mentioned, just a kind of unspoken rule. This is the kind of thing where you can (in a nice way) set an example by taking something to friends who invite you to dinner but didn't bring anything to yours. I would never ask someone to bring a bottle and would rather not be asked to do so as a guest. (Perhaps desert/pudding/starter would be ok, as a kind of participation in the meal. Do as you would be done by! (I am extremely tight with myself but not with my friends ) (And hate going places where you don't get served enough food!)

Sazzie23

When I was brought up, it was always polite to take something to your host, whether you went for lunch, tea or a party, even just visiting you turned up with flowers or a box of chocs.

I still do this, much to my friends amusement, but old habits and all that...

Dinner party, provision of one course plus drinks, guests do starter or pud,

Party time, provision of food, budget but not value, beer, wine and soft drinks, anything else, guests provide. If you can afford it, bottle of spirits for a quick toast to start goes down well.

(Or change your friends !)

P.s. any extra unwanted bottles can be donated as raffle prizes to the local charity stalls

Have a great party :T

Rosemary7391

I always tell my guests to only bring a drink if they want something specific. I'll provide some drinks (soda, squash, fruit juice and things like schloer to go with a meal, plus all manner of hot drinks), but as I don't drink alcohol myself my friends all know that if they want it they need to bring it - I haven't got a clue what is good or not so it'd be a waste of money my trying to provide it! I always provide enough food to feed about twice as many though, and encourage taking away of leftovers, so I can't imagine they'd feel at all hard done by...

tibawo

Our family like their wine and even on a simple bday party we always bring a contribution. Normally it is a standing joke to take the one you've just opened to test and another!
So used to this that if I go round to a friends I automatically take something. I would not be offended with bring your own on an invite.

I do have a friend who suggested we go to the pub for tea, this was our first venture out and when we my babysitter let me down I asked if she minded if I brought the girls (she knows them etc). She made a really weird comment about would I mind paying for them. I was really confused and it turns out she thought i would expect to split the bill down the middle. I was gob smacked but Apparently someone at work just expects this! So I do know there are still people who think you pay for everything if you invite them round.

the_cake_maker

Many years ago, my husband and I moved into a new home. We'd got no money left over for anything - but people suggested a housewarming party. We had some very good contacts - so we organised a "Bring A Thing" barbecue. Someone who worked at a bakery brought rolls etc; someone who worked at a butcher's shop brought some meat; someone else brought huge bags of crisps/snacky stuff. Others brought cakes, yogurts, corn cobs, tomatoes - you name it, they brought it - and in huge quantities!! We shoved all the left-overs in the freezer (assuming it was still wrapped!) and ate from there for about 2 months. They also brought bottles of whatever they wanted to drink. Didn't cost us much except for charcoal and cooking facilities - but it was one of the best parties ever!! People will be happy to help if you just ask them!!

gloriouslyhappy

troubleonline wrote: »

This thread is quite interesting as we are having a party in a few weeks and will be providing food and some fizz. I have been stocking up on decent Crement and Prosecco buy popping a bottle or two in my supermarket shopping each week. Mainly whatever has been on offer that week! So we will say bring a bottle of your favourite tipple on the invites.

Am actually trying to think of something different to mac'n cheese for next party but struggling to think of something simple that ticks the same boxes of being 1. cheap 2. popular. 3. easy to prep in advance 4. suitable for vegetarians 5. can be done in a trendy and kitsch manner!

Curries and chilli's are good for smaller crowds but for around 30 people that we will be having can be more hassle and more expensive to prepare particularly when you factor in rice and naans or all the bits and bobs to go with chilli!

Try couscous - cheap and easy, suitable for vegetarians and can be made the day before. Flavour with seasonal vegetables, I use green beans, red & yellow peppers in warm weather, and butternut squash and mushrooms in this weather, and put bowls of greek yoghurt, mayonnaise, hummus etc on the side along with crusty bread cut into rounds. Makes a colourful spread, goes a long way and doesn't cost too much.

I always provide all the food and soft drinks, plus some wine & beer at my parties, but take for granted that the guests, like I always do, will also bring drinks along. Makes for stress-free and happy partying.