Am i being unreasonable?

newcook

charlotte664 wrote: »

Trying not to cry here after reading other posts.

My OH puts the rubbish bin out on a Thursday. Thats it more or less (with the obligitory once a year hedge trimming). I asked him to wash up the dishes on a Sunday and put his dirty clothes in the basket (general tidy up after himself). This is what kicked it all off. (maybe I asked in a rude way??)

But he works 5 days a week and an evening at weekends. Its a hard job (And I am not disputing that) whilst I look after HIS 4 kids (13, 5, 3 and 4mnths) and do nothing else.

He wouldn't dream of helping out just because. I really have to push - which is nagging, which in turns becomes my controlling nature and he feels "under the thumb".

Going to put the kettle on and I can feel the tears coming back.

My OH used to 'forget' to put his dirty clothes in the washing basket so I 'forgot' to wash them - he soon learnt where the dirty clothes go when he ran out of things to wear...!
his main jobs are putting out the bins, mowing the lawn and cooking occassionally - I don't like him washing up because he doesn't do it properly. He is a really good cook but he seems to use EVERY pot and pan...!! bless him - he can't win!!!!

flybynight

hehehe, the guy above sounds like me. I dont mind cooking, in fact id go as far as to say im beter than my g/f pureley becase i am willing to expreiment. however im crap at washing up, i dont know why, i just seem to miss bits, so after ive tried, she has to do em again. The way round this is she has given me all the jobs that she duzent liek ( i dont mind em they seem to be the ones involving heavy things or smells). so even if she cooks, she washes up, but then i hoover, change the bins and clear the garden afta the dog. it seems to work, could you not try a trade off?

frivolous_fay

newcook wrote: »

I don't like him washing up because he doesn't do it properly. He is a really good cook but he seems to use EVERY pot and pan...!! bless him - he can't win!!!!

Are you me?

milkydrink

We bought a dishwasher, it solved loads of arguements.

newcook

frivolous_fay wrote: »

Are you me?

lol!!! im quite strange about it - everything has to go in a certain place in the draining rack...

frivolous_fay

newcook wrote: »

lol!!! im quite strange about it - everything has to go in a certain place in the draining rack...

Mmm, ok, I'd settle for non-crusty cutlery and glasses you can see through

Smashing

kimevans wrote: »

We bought a dishwasher, it solved loads of arguements.

Determined couples will simply argue about who loads/unloads the thing.

kelloggs36

Go on strike. He will soon realise just how much you do whislt sitting on your backside all day lol. I'm sure he will soon notice when there is no dinner, no clean clothes, the house is a mess, there is no food in the cupboards, no clean cutlery and crockery. Just do for yourself and children and get on with your uni work which is very important.

My hubby believes that it is NOT my job to look after the house even though I too go to uni and stay at home looking after our children. He cooks, irons, hoovers etc when I don't feel like it! We share the work as we both benefit from all the work that needs to be done in the house.

Shineyhappy

Does he work two sepperate jobs? If that is the case and the one evening weekend one was sepperate, maybe you could get a job of that one evening, giving him quality time with the kids and he could do the housework that day, cooking and washing up??

I agree that its up to each couple as to how they split the chores, but I dont always think some men understand the vast workload that is created with kids in the house! Keeping on top of things is a never ending battle as kids like to mess things up and a perfectly clean kitchen floor isnt perfect after a little one has split his food on it or drooled all over it.

sticher

Go on strike. He will soon realise just how much you do whislt sitting on your backside all day lol. I'm sure he will soon notice when there is no dinner, no clean clothes, the house is a mess, there is no food in the cupboards, no clean cutlery and crockery. Kelloggs36

Although this sounds good in theory, if he is anything like my Ex it won't work. We unfortunately still have to share a house and I no longer cook/shop/wash for him, but I still have to do all the housework and he uses crockery/cutlery/towels, etc but won't wash any up. I have also been working every spare hour around my full time college course and bringing up our 3 boys alone. He still insists everything else is my job!

Bettyboop

I must say this is a very common problem in most households. Some time ago I had this problem and it makes my blood boil when some men think that because we may not work one day here and there that looking after kids is just sitting on your bum all day doing sweet nothing. That p*sses me off completely. If you have the guts serve his dinner on paper plates, plastic knives and forks or if that doesn't work tell him to cook for himself. What an ungrateful so and so!!!!!!!!!!!!! good luck and let us know what happens.