At what point do you decide not to go to a wedding as it's too expensive?

pollyanna24

I've been doing figures for how much it's going to cost me to go to a wedding in Ireland in August and I just don't think I can justify the cost. And then there's all the hassle of getting on a 6.55am flight with two young children.


Flights - £300 (Ryanair for the three of us including one suitcase, haven't figured out if this will be enough yet).


Car Hire - £500 (need a people carrier, but will go halves with my dad).


Petrol - £... (who knows, but I am supposed to be driving across the country to see a friend for a couple of days).


Dog Sitting - £150.


Somewhere to stay for the five nights. Can't hire a cottage as they all book Sat - Sat and we can't arrive on the day of the wedding. Was thinking the hotel where the wedding is happening for the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding.


I do want to go, but I'm just not sure I can justify the cost. Or am I being an old misery guts?

tiny_courageous

Could you get the ferry and drive your own car?

Brighton_belle

Well it's hard to answer without knowing the importance to you of the person getting married.
Another factor is can you find the money but go without other things you feel ok about going with out?
Are you debt free?

Mojisola

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I've been doing figures for how much it's going to cost me to go to a wedding in Ireland in August and I just don't think I can justify the cost.

I do want to go, but I'm just not sure I can justify the cost. Or am I being an old misery guts?

Have you got the money to spare?

How much do you usually spend on a holiday - would it be comparable?

Would you rather book a trip to Ireland at a time of your own choosing and travel round and visit people, including the newly-married couple?

fabforty

pollyanna24 wrote: »

I've been doing figures for how much it's going to cost me to go to a wedding in Ireland in August and I just don't think I can justify the cost. And then there's all the hassle of getting on a 6.55am flight with two young children.


Flights - £300 (Ryanair for the three of us including one suitcase, haven't figured out if this will be enough yet).


Car Hire - £500 (need a people carrier, but will go halves with my dad).


Petrol - £... (who knows, but I am supposed to be driving across the country to see a friend for a couple of days).


Dog Sitting - £150.


Somewhere to stay for the five nights. Can't hire a cottage as they all book Sat - Sat and we can't arrive on the day of the wedding. Was thinking the hotel where the wedding is happening for the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding.


I do want to go, but I'm just not sure I can justify the cost. Or am I being an old misery guts?

In my view, it becomes too expensive when you can legitmately say that you have more important things to spend the money on - important in your eyes, not anybodyelse's.
We have been invited to a friend's wedding in August at a country house in the middle of nowhere. With flights, accommodation, car hire etc, we are easily looking at £1000+ and that's without a present and suitable clothes. It wouldn't be so bad, but neither of them hail from or live in Scotland, they just liked the look of the venue!
We have the money, but with two small children, I can think of many things that I would rather spend it on. So we have declined.

bagpussbear

sounds a lot of money, can understand why you are thinking of not going.

But a couple of thoughts - do you have to bring the kids? could a family member stay at your house to babysit your kids and also look after the dog. That would cut the cost of flights and dog sitting.

Also, why 5 days? maybe go the night before the wedding, and go the afternoon after the wedding, ie. only 2 nights stay, and just see the friend you were going to stay with for a few hours instead and meet for lunch before getting back on the plane. And would it be cheaper/feasible for a ferry instead?

pollyanna24

It's for my cousin who lives over here (not too far from me actually), but they are getting married in Ireland as that's where they grew up, all their friends are there, most of the family etc.


I see the cousin not too often, and message his wife to be a few times, and we visit each other now and again. When I was told about the wedding, initially I was all like "oh yeah, we'll definitely be there," it's just afterwards I started adding up all the costs.


I think my main issue with it is that it will be my only holiday this year if I go (if I don't go, then I would probably book a cheap week in Butlins for the girls). I feel that my only holiday is being forced on me and I would rather choose a time to go to Ireland that suited me (god, I sound miserable, haha). What with not being able to rent out a cottage Sat-Sat, I think I would rather be able to go another time on my terms.


Although I won't be able to do that this year (as that would appear so rude to the couple getting married), I would like my girls to meet their great-nanny as they haven't yet.


As for driving my own car over, it's not big enough for my mum and dad to get in as well and all the suitcases and it's 12 years old, not quite sure it would make the journey!

Person_one

If you want to go and you can afford it, then you don't need to 'justify' spending the money, you're allowed to spend it if you want to!

If you want to go, but you don't want to enough to shell out that much, that's fine, its your decision.

If you want to go but you really can't afford it and will be going without and struggling in order to be there, then I'd say its not really sensible to go.

GobbledyGook

I think it depends on what you can afford and who is getting married.

Can you not get two nights accommodation and just make it a short trip? That would cut down your hotel and car hire costs.

pollyanna24

bagpussbear wrote: »

sounds a lot of money, can understand why you are thinking of not going.

But a couple of thoughts - do you have to bring the kids? could a family member stay at your house to babysit your kids and also look after the dog. That would cut the cost of flights and dog sitting.

Also, why 5 days? maybe go the night before the wedding, and go the afternoon after the wedding, ie. only 2 nights stay, and just see the friend you were going to stay with for a few hours instead and meet for lunch before getting back on the plane. And would it be cheaper/feasible for a ferry instead?

The children will just have come back from a holiday with their dad, so doubt he would have them and my entire family (mum, dad, brother) are all going to the cousin's wedding, so don't have my usual dog sitters.


The friend I was going to visit lives at least 2 hours drive away and she has offered for me to stay and incorporate another mini holiday into it. Another reason for me to feel horrible about not wanting to go. In a different situation, I would have just booked flights to a different airport, closer to my friend and stayed with her, knocking off the cost of accommodation altogether.

Netwizard

The ferry isn't cheap either. That sounds like a hell of a lot of money to attend a wedding. I guess you could only go for a few days but if your having to pay that much for a flight and car hire, you might as well go for a week and get your monies worth!

I hate weddings so don't go to anyones! No one has ever taken offence and knows I don't like them, but at £1k to attend a wedding? Not a chance!