Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Kynthia

No-ones life goes completely to plan and that's okay. It's not our fault as we can't control everything that happens to us, our families, circumstances, etc. What's important is how we deal with what life throws at us, making the most of what we have and appreciating what we have. It's still possible to reassess every now and then to update 'the plan' and work towards making it happen. However don't forget to be proud of what you've achieved and how you've dealt with things. Try to appreciate your life now rather than only comparing it negatively to what you wanted it to be, and do small things that make you happy as well as work towards the big things.

fluffnutter

Person_one wrote: »

If your friends are all around your age and are on their second children, they're a very unrepresentative group. The average age a woman has her first child now is 28.

I thought it was even older.

OP, I'm going to be kind and say you're under a lot of pressure so perhaps your view of your life is a little skewed at the moment.

I'm also going to say, in the kindest way possible, that you need to get a grip. You're 24. Your life has barely begun and to feel sorry for yourself because you hoped you'd be married and knocked up by now is unrealistic and self-defeating. Life doesn't go to plan and you need to learn to adapt and cherish what you do have, not what you wish you already had. Learn to be more resilient. It's utterly within your own power to be happy, concentrating on perceived deficiencies is a sure way of making yourself miserable.

And stop comparing yourself to others. Their lives are an irrelevancy and I suspect you'll find that everyone faces their own challenges. You assume theirs are perfect simply because you believe your own is lacking.

Domayne

Yup, I know exactly how you feel!! I never thought I'd end up being a security guard who was single and still living at home at 30 :rotfl:
Life throws you a lot of curve balls though and nothing really ever goes to plan in my experience, but I don't dwell on it too much. Apart from the fact that I'm still in debt 10 years later, I don't think my life is that bad

DigForVictory

Be a bit kinder to yourself! You're already doing *wonderful* things & have learned some darn tough lessons & you are 24! (Which to me, is still wonderfully young!)

I vaguely wanted to be 'married by 25 mum by 30' - crashed that resoundingly but ended up married to the right guy & mum to three merry hellions.

Not sure who you are comparing yourself to, but there are older folks on this site wrestling with debt, coping with mc, trying to get a job, trying to get a mortgage - you've got solid helpful experience in all these areas. I honestly doubt these others you feel a bit um beside could offer the same range & authority.

Above all, enjoy being 24, in health, in love, in credit - and let the rest fall off a cliff. The only reasonable judge of 'did I do all I wanted to' is you, and it isn't this week. It's in another fifty years, minimum!

"Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness" is spot on. Get a week of good nights sleep, eat properly and see how you feel. A few faces you see exercising might develop into friends - and the sooner you're happy with yourself, the more friends you'll find you have.

Panda78

Remember to live your life and enjoy it whilst all this "planning for the future" is going on. You don't need stacks of money to have a nice day out with your other half, family or friends.

I'm 35 and a year out of a 13 year relationship that i thought would bring me everything i ever wanted. Only just buying my first home now (alone) and have no partner or kids. Not how i expected life to turn out, but i've had to stop thinking "why me?" and make the best of it.

mgdavid

Trixsie1989 wrote: »

Hi,

<normal life stuff>

Can anyone relate to this ?

without wishing to be harsh, no. Calm down, rationalise your situation. If you can control or change the situation, do it (a 'small steps' approach may help.) For things that you cannot control or influence, stop worrying and learn to roll with it.

Rachylou1981

I always thought I'd be married and have a family in my 20s and it never happened, I was unbelievably unlucky in love and yet my friends sailed through lots of long and short term relationships and most got engaged, lived together, married and some also had children in their 20s.

It will be 2 years in March since I met my OH who has completely changed my life. I was 31 and he was 26 when we met. We have only just moved in together and I am now 33. We are enjoying life and just going with the flow. I will admit I am finding it hard knowing that fertility can drop at 35 and I would like more than one child and whilst spending all of my adult life trying not to get pregnant, I don't know whether I ever can until I try - which OH won't be ready for for a while whilst I probably will be. But life is not easy to map out like that, sometimes you have to accept that you can't control everything and so you can't stress about it. Although it sounds like you have enough stress without worrying about your age and the way life is going. To me, your life is going very quick for your age and you certainly haven't wasted your life. I felt like I wasted mine in terms of lovelife but I couldn't actually help that, I compensated by travelling and buying my own home

Also, most of my friends are on their second serious relationship as they settled down too early (with expensive/dramatic consequences for some) - that doesn't happen to everyone but I find this obsession with what other people are doing quite scary as it is not necessarily what is right for you.

My best friend's mantra is 'never settle down in your 20s' and she is going to hammer it home to her little boy

southoftheriver

I commented on another thread about life in your twenties. I thought i'd have everything sorted by the time I was 30. I don't. I'm not married, have no children and have a biological clock ticking louder than the clock the crocodile swallowed in Peter Pan (google it). Life doesn't always go to plan but you're in a better position that lots of others as you've learned some hard lessons and are moving in the right direction. Perspective is difficult when you're feeling down but it can be invaluable.

Rachylou1981

southoftheriver wrote: »

Perspective is difficult when you're feeling down but it can be invaluable.

Love this as it's very true.

A friend of mine had cystic fibrosis and when I used to moan about being single she used to support me but also put things into perspective in that she said she would 'swap her life with mine in a heartbeat'. She died aged 35