We're all moneysavers - but have you left a partner for being too frugal?

Soleil_lune

Hermia wrote: »

My mum had a friend who left her husband who wouldn't give her any money despite the fact he was a high earner and had wanted her to be a SAHM. He wouldn't even give her any money for tampons and she was reduced to having to stick wads of toilet paper in her knickers!

I haven't left anyone for being frugal, but I do know people who are way too frugal and would be a nightmare to live with.

Holy S**t! My friend's husband did allow stuff that was actually 'needed,' just not 'extras' or 'luxuries.' That's awful! Sounds like he was more than just tight: this was cruel.

Hermia

Soleil_lune wrote: »

Holy S**t! My friend's husband did allow stuff that was actually 'needed,' just not 'extras' or 'luxuries.' That's awful! Sounds like he was more than just tight: this was cruel.

Indeed. He was actually a really normal husband until she gave up work and had a baby. He really wanted a baby and he really wanted it to be bought up by it's mum, not a child minder so it wasn't like he was forced into being the breadwinner. It was like a button switched in his head and sent him on a power trip when it actually happened. He seemed to enjoy having control over everything. It was very odd.

Toucan_Pecan

Hermia wrote: »

My mum had a friend who left her husband who wouldn't give her any money despite the fact he was a high earner and had wanted her to be a SAHM. He wouldn't even give her any money for tampons and she was reduced to having to stick wads of toilet paper in her knickers!

I haven't left anyone for being frugal, but I do know people who are way too frugal and would be a nightmare to live with.

Vomit inducing behaviour! What a disgusting man!!!

SailorSam

I think the opposite must be a bigger reason for break-ups.
Even someone who was just your average spender, not a moneysaver would get worn down by a partner that flitters everything away, and leasves you with constant debts.

Kayalana99

SailorSam wrote: »

I think the opposite must be a bigger reason for break-ups.
Even someone who was just your average spender, not a moneysaver would get worn down by a partner that flitters everything away, and leasves you with constant debts.

I don't believe that you love someone for who they are warts and all...being a 'spender' is a bad habit..that you can tackle as a couple.

Being obsessively money savvy is a lifestyle choice that could drive people mad if they don't feel the same.

In extreme cases lack of spending money is controlling the other person - even if unintentional.

If my partner got massively in debt and didn't tell me I wouldn't leave him Id support him through it and help him, if he was shouting at me for using to much loo roll I don't think it'd be a healthy relationship!

GobbledyGook

Hermia wrote: »

Indeed. He was actually a really normal husband until she gave up work and had a baby. He really wanted a baby and he really wanted it to be bought up by it's mum, not a child minder so it wasn't like he was forced into being the breadwinner. It was like a button switched in his head and sent him on a power trip when it actually happened. He seemed to enjoy having control over everything. It was very odd.

I know someone like that as well. Mum 'gets' the child benefit and a set budget for the housekeeping (think it's about £40 a week) and is expected to keep herself and the two children from that. Plus all of the groceries, and he gets really hacked off if they don't have good quality dinners every night.

Mum was offered a job one day a week which would give her a great standing to get back to work when the children are at school, but had to give it up as she couldn't afford to have the children looked after (it was her choice to work so she would have to pay for the childcare). She also frequently has to turn down birthday parties and days out for her or the children because they can't afford it, yet he can afford to play golf with his mates whenever he likes.

He does take them on holiday every year right enough. Somewhere near a golf course in Portugal and she gets a little bit of extra housekeeping because things are dearer there.

Toucan_Pecan

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I know someone like that as well. Mum 'gets' the child benefit and a set budget for the housekeeping (think it's about £40 a week) and is expected to keep herself and the two children from that. Plus all of the groceries, and he gets really hacked off if they don't have good quality dinners every night.

Mum was offered a job one day a week which would give her a great standing to get back to work when the children are at school, but had to give it up as she couldn't afford to have the children looked after (it was her choice to work so she would have to pay for the childcare). She also frequently has to turn down birthday parties and days out for her or the children because they can't afford it, yet he can afford to play golf with his mates whenever he likes.

He does take them on holiday every year right enough. Somewhere near a golf course in Portugal and she gets a little bit of extra housekeeping because things are dearer there.

Why did she marry him?! Was he always this stingy??

GobbledyGook

Toucan_Pecan wrote: »

Why did she marry him?! Was he always this stingy??

They used to spend 50/50 on everything (even though he was paid way more) so she knew he was a bit funny, but nothing like this. She's just biding her time until the twins are at school, which I think is really sad.

paulineb_2

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I know someone like that as well. Mum 'gets' the child benefit and a set budget for the housekeeping (think it's about £40 a week) and is expected to keep herself and the two children from that. Plus all of the groceries, and he gets really hacked off if they don't have good quality dinners every night.

Mum was offered a job one day a week which would give her a great standing to get back to work when the children are at school, but had to give it up as she couldn't afford to have the children looked after (it was her choice to work so she would have to pay for the childcare). She also frequently has to turn down birthday parties and days out for her or the children because they can't afford it, yet he can afford to play golf with his mates whenever he likes.

He does take them on holiday every year right enough. Somewhere near a golf course in Portugal and she gets a little bit of extra housekeeping because things are dearer there.

I'll say this quite bluntly. Some people are bloody fools to put up with being treated as badly as this. Thats abuse, its not just about money, its about controlling someone, those poor kids being brought up in that environment.

Hed be making his own effing dinners if that were my husband.

samuela66

me and o/h walked into our local pub car park one summers day to nip in for a drink, we saw his dads wife sitting in the car so walked over to see why she was there, he was in the pub getting the drinks and she was sitting in the car eating a bag of crisps.............he made her bring them with him as he said they are too expensive in the pub...................wouldnt mind she only drinks blackcurrant and water:eek::eek::eek::eek::rotfl: