Are you in a Long Distance Relationship? How is it for you?

picklekin

I had a long distance relationship (about 90 miles apart but with London in the way so making travel harder!) for about 3-4 years before we finally moved in with each other. We mostly did alternate weekeneds with one weekend at his place then one at mine. As time went on we did spend more at my place (muhahaha) mostly due to the fact that he drives and I don't and I got super tired of weekend network maintenance adding hours to my travel (and my house was nicer! ).

We didn't really speak in the week, my OH is still not good on the phone but we used to text. As I'd been hurt before this way also let me build up the confidence to commit again when the time finally came.

During this time I'm afraid I did rather let things slide with friends, there just wasn't time to see them as they also required travelling to see. He was the one though and I wanted to be with him rather than see other people, even though I do feel a bit sad in hindsight I let other things slip. However the friends that cared persisted and understood and are now OUR friends who we see together

Been together 7 years and will have been married for 2 in May.

neon_dannii

We are apart by 60 miles (London - MK) and have been together for 3 years. We try to see each other every weekend, but sometimes that changes to every 2. Either I go to his on a Friday night and get the train back to work on Monday morning, or he drives down to mine on Friday night and drives back on Sunday night.

It works for us at the moment, but as others have reiterated, it does need some kind of end point. Ours is that I'm hopefully moving up to his in the Autumn

cats2012

I don't have anything to add really but i agree with many others here - there needs to be an end in sight. We did it for 2 years until I finished Uni and we knew that then my OH would go wherever I needed him too for whatever job I got.

I have 2 friends who actually lived together at Uni then did long distance after for 3 years, she eventually had to give him an ultimatum as there was no timeline of when they'd actually be together. Thankfully they found a solution and are now really happy, but she still says she just needed to know one way or the other as the LDR thing had run its course.

My sis is also doing it with her Oh and they're in the 4th year due to uni - but again her finishing will the end point.

annie_d

I was in a ldr of 200 miles or so, him in London and me in Manchester. I had three children and worked shifts. He was a school teacher working Monday to Friday. What a strain!!!!! I went down once a month and he came up once a month, each time for a weekend.
So after 12 months of that, the missing, the travelling, the cost. We married. 12 years on happy as you could be.

Just asked D what he thought of LDR. He said ( as he would) "NO" "Relationships work or they don't, distance won't make the difference because if you want to overcome that you will."

minerva_windsong

A significant chunk of my relationship with my fiance has been long distance (2007-2011) as he was the year above me at university and we moved back to our home towns (London and Lancaster) after graduating. We would normally see each other about every three weeks but spoke on the phone and texted every day as well, and I think that regular communication kept us going. Just the little 'how was your day?' conversations that any couple would have were hugely helpful in feeling coonected and knowing what was going on in each other's lives. Equally as others have said I think it made us value the time we spent together more and do lots of new and different things together.

If it's right for you, then you'll make it work. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, because it isn't, but for the right person it is worth doing - although that said, I'm not sure I'd have wanted to do long-distance forever. Knowing we had a rough time frame of the relationship not being long-distance (ie when I got a job in London) was helpful in those times when it was particularly tough and kept me going when I really missed him.

pukkamum

pukkamum wrote: »

Pukkadad and I were in a ldr for the first 2 yrs of our relationship, we did alternate weekends that turned mainly into him coming here more often then moving in.

I had to do the Manchester to London route and always went by train.
I made the most of it, good book, nice picnic etc and it felt like a holiday.

Coming back however was a different story, packed late trains etc and eventually it got too much, not to mention how upsetting it was leaving each other.

We spoke on the phone every day and wrote letters every week, I now have a huge stack of love letters that are lovely to read back.

It was all worth it though and I think as another poster said it made us appreciate our time together so much more than if we had seen each other every day.
We didn't have the petty arguments many of my friends had as we were so incredibly pleased to see each other and we were too busy loving for fighting!

Not sure why the words love have been blocked is that now a banned word?

hmm but not blocked in the quote, weird!

claire16c

Me & DH used to have a ldr as he was in the forces and so could only see each other at weekends he got posted, then he got sent to Germany & seeing each other every 6 weeks was 'good'

However I knew it wouldn't be like that forever.

It was tiring but worked for us as I was at Uni so meant I had loads off time to get my work done.

Downsides were no Skype, only a rubbish webcam which barely ever worried so it meant phone bills of around £150 or more a month!

And then paying for flights etc

Then sometimes he'd be away on exercise or on tour which was extremely stressful & we also had quite a few of his mates die so had some tough times.

As soon as he left the army we moved in together & now I hate being apart, I don't know how I used to do it! I guess because we had no choice. So it's definitely not something id want to do out of choice, I'd do all I could to change it.

Horace

I was in an LDR with someone in London for nearly 7 years. It was ok at first but mainly as we used to alternate but then it got to the point where it was mainly me making trips to London. I got the feeling that he was seeing someone else behind my back yet he kept denying it and he was supposed to be staying at mine for New Year and he never turned up - when I rang him on NY Day he was actually in bed with someone. His excuse was that I didn't pay him enough attention because I didn't want to drive to London every weekend. We have been split now for 2 years and I have never been happier plus my car no longer has the mileage being piled onto it.