sad about ex

sadsally

Hi everyone , my name is Sally and like it says on the bottle im sad
The reason being my ex who i slit up three years ago, the trouble being i still love him so much and regretted it about two months after i split from him. I am with someone else now and i try to be happy and i put on a good show but inside im sinking I do so want to forget him but not a day, no not a hour goes by without me thinking about him and i cry about him every single day over him.

The worst thing is i have found out he is getting married in a couple of months time, im so jealous of the lady in his life and that she appreciates him like i should have done. i was swayed by family and friends who said he was never good enough for me as he didnt have a job and that he was scrounging off me, but he did lots of things for me and built my self confidence up no end. For that reason i dont talk to my friends about how i feel, i just came on here to let it out how i feel as ive kept it all in for so long and sometimes i just want to scream. I know its no "biggy" compared to what alot of peeps may be going through, but its making me sad and i just wondered if anyone was going through a similar type of thing or have done and want to share how they got over it xx

Thanks for listening x

Sally (sad) xx

krlyr

Are you sure that the negatives were just family influences? Could you be looking back with rose tinted specs? I would maybe try to look back without any bias - for example, had he really built your self-confidence up that much, would you really have been swayed by family if there was no truth in what they were saying?

Wilma33

Hi. You could try Relate. They do sessions over the phone and online via email. It's fine to go on your own and it might help you resolve some of your issues about your last relationship.

bagpussbear

Have you kept in contact with him?

If you felt he had done so much for you, why did you listen to others advice and dump him? I wonder if you are looking at the situation with rose tinted specs and forgetting the bad times, only remembering the good.

sadsally

we did get back in touch with each other about 6 months after the split, i think i would have tried to get us back together when i realised after two months after the split i had made a mistake but then i found out he was seeing someone else so would never get involved. They fell out and he did message me a few times on fb, we almost met up again but he pulled out at the last minute with some silly excuse and i never spoke to him again after that and he moved away from the area . I probably have got rose tinted glasses on as yes there were bad times, but still ... xx

Thanks for the replies xx

Ladyhawk

Sally, big hugs to you. Please please get yourself some profesisonal help. I'm 13 years on and haven't fully got over my ex. I don't miss him as such but I never dealt with our break up and its affected all subsequent relationships. He's not coming back to you and you need help to really accept it.

Good luck

sadsally

You are right Ladyhawk, i had a couple of short term relationships after the break up and before i met the guy i am with now and i always compared them to my ex, still do, and they never stood a chance really. i think the guy i am with now has no chance because i cant forget the ex and its not fair on him. To me its a big thing but i feel i will look stupid trying to get help for this (didnt even know you could get help for it) i guess i just need someone to talk to and try and free myself xxx

Notsosharp

I can't really offer any advice Sally but I can say I know how you feel.

My ex left me two years ago now and I still miss him and think about him each and every day. Even now I catch myself crying over him (which is utterly pathetic really) but at the time the grief overwhelmed me. He was my best friend before we got together and I fell utterly in love with him. I think what hurts the most is the fact he could have walked away from four years of friendship and a year of a relationship without so much of a backwards glance.

It's the loneliness that's the killer but I can't bring myself to risk another relationship, I did try once but all I kept thinking was "you're not him"

I don't want to talk to anyone about it either because I'm scared I'll feel like I felt when he left and I was a mess.

sadsally

Awww yes Notsosharp, exactly how i feel, i think i should be alone too really, but the guy who i am with loves me and his wife left him before we met so how could i do that to him , i thought i would eventually forget my ex and be happy with this new guy but the feeling for the ex just wont fade Yes its hard when you spent all your time with someone and then nothing, you dont know what hes doing, how he feels etc... I cant go to some places now because i shared so many happy memories there with my ex. I hope you find someone new eventually Notsosharp and learn to trust them xxx

Notsosharp

sadsally wrote: »

Awww yes Notsosharp, exactly how i feel, i think i should be alone too really, but the guy who i am with loves me and his wife left him before we met so how could i do that to him , i thought i would eventually forget my ex and be happy with this new guy but the feeling for the ex just wont fade Yes its hard when you spent all your time with someone and then nothing, you dont know what hes doing, how he feels etc... I cant go to some places now because i shared so many happy memories there with my ex. I hope you find someone new eventually Notsosharp and learn to trust them xxx

Thank you but I won't, I'll settle for being happy on my own which hopefully will happen one day

I think long term you would hurt your current man more unless you confront your feelings about your Ex. You'll never be able to fully love your current partner whilst your head is still so taken up with your ex.

You need to be content yourself before you can make anyone else happy. Definitely go down the relate route, they only ask for donations if you're on a tight budget and they helped me so much when another ex (DD's father) had an affair.

justme111

Well if his positive side was that he built up your confidence you would not needed him once it was done. If it was indeed so you should been able to realise there are many men on this planet fit for new confident you , thank him and move on. To me it sounds as if you were nit that happy in.your present relationship so your eyes turn to who else you known and can yearn for and he is a suitable object , plus you are jealous.