Breaking Through, Travelling On

[Deleted User]

ZTD wrote: »

You should always count your blessings - I'm not productive at any time...



Well that's the thing. You need to try to take the emotion out of it. It happens, not something you can do anything about - so:


It doesn't matter how much you rail against the fairness or otherwise of it, it's not going to change. All you need to do is accept that if you want to do A, you will need B time to do it, and C time to recover. Don't get upset at C - every day has its night.

The alternative is "pacing" which the medical professionals love, but which I've found to be nonsense so palpable, you can cut it with a knife.



:grouphug:

What a lovely post, ZTD:T. Wise words as ever and something valuable for every one of us to reflect on.

KC, sending positivity and hugs your way. Take care:kisses3:

Karmacat

Me again (oops) :A (you are wonderful ...)

Thank you all so much. My backward steps were indeed backward - interesting to know, though, that other people sense that imbalance about their own posts, thank you for that. At the moment, I'm just getting by, not doing anything I don't absolutely have to do. That includes walking for 15 minutes - doing nothing is as bad as doing too much. The priority, though, has to be driving to see my very ill rellie next week, my sister's picking me up and driving me door to door, so I'll be fine.

After that, the priority is doing stuff to get me back on my feet. Thats a balance of sleep, antihistamines, vits b d and k, probiotics, limiting dairy and upping green leafy, minimal exercise, hydration, low carb, visualisations, meditation, and the gratitude prayer.

Thats all I can think of right now. Suggestions below gratefully considered, but I'm not online till this next week. Thank you again, all of you.

beanielou

Great post Z.

Karmacat

ZTD wrote: »

It doesn't matter how much you rail against the fairness or otherwise of it, it's not going to change. All you need to do is accept that if you want to do A, you will need B time to do it, and C time to recover. Don't get upset at C - every day has its night.

This has been itching at me, so I just needed to pop back to get some closure.


Totally agree, really, except that to fully accept, you first need to explore and acknowledge exactly what it is you're accepting, and with such a hazy, still-badly-researched illness, that takes some time.

Save

earthgirl

Great to hear your ok, and wow to all those "looking after yourself" ideas. Think most people should be doing a lot of those. Good luck

beanielou

Karmacat wrote: »

This has been itching at me, so I just needed to pop back to get some closure.


Totally agree, really, except that to fully accept, you first need to explore and acknowledge exactly what it is you're accepting, and with such a hazy, still-badly-researched illness, that takes some time.

Save

I still struggle with this one.
It is hard.

ZTD

Karmacat wrote: »

This has been itching at me, so I just needed to pop back to get some closure.

Oops - you needing closure was not the intention.

Karmacat wrote: »

Totally agree, really, except that to fully accept, you first need to explore and acknowledge exactly what it is you're accepting, and with such a hazy, still-badly-researched illness, that takes some time.

It does, and I've been at this for about 12 years now, and I've been through all the bollox that the medical profession has come up with such as the pacing, the graded exercise and CBT. (just some examples...)

Essentially, I found that if you carefully pace yourself and shy away from "overexerting" yourself, you end up doing less and less until you do nothing.

So what I found works best for me, is to nurture my spoons and wait until I feeling my best (in relative terms), then do high priority jobs and cheerfully accept the crash-and-burn that comes afterwards.

This leads to things like a couple of Fridays ago, where, while doing a physically demanding job, I puked at a customer's site, had to lie on their floor to recover for five minutes, and ended up spending the weekend in bed. Do I have an adverse emotional reaction to that? No. Would I do it again? Yes. Why? Because it was a high enough priority to make it worth it.

Getting upset at (yet another) wasted weekend would change nothing.

That's fatigue from my point of view.

themadvix

Afraid I don't have anything to add to the above discussion, but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you KC and I hope the looking after yourself pays off x

Karmacat

Thanks for clarifying with your own experience Z, that feels tons better. Sorry its like that for you

And ....

Hello Everyone :hello: :j:j:j

I brought cake back from Norfolk, look :bdaycake: flapjacks too :bdaycake: (sort of) ...

Nothing like dealing with other people's life threatening emergencies to get rid of the aftereffects of a fatigue attack ... I couldn't do absolutely everything the others did (National Trust house belonging to the gay pirates in Suffolk went unvisited by me, shame!) but I did everything else.

There was literally no time to get online, so I'm just now getting my feet under the desk/kitchen table, and the enforced break has given me a great idea about timing of my online visits, and I did it today. Emails, first thing, plus any admin arising. Then switch off, faff about the house and garden (it was getting to the stage where I had a second garden on the edge of the pavement at the front, so much soil and weed seed had accumulated ), have my Hobbitses' Second Breakfast, then come on to chat :j:j:j

This is all if I'm at home, of course, if not, then all bets are off Fits in with the whole thing of doing bit-by-bit, even if its the same amount of time.

I've also realised that the last big financial task is to understand all the pension hoo-hah. I thought I did but I don't so:
- I've just got Martin's pdf guide.
- I think it has to be 25% tax free lump plus income drawdown, but we'll see.
- Can't do a transfer to Vanguard without cashing in the fund I want to transfer, which would lay me open to massive tax liabilities, so thats a non-starter.
- my pension money is in 3 separate pots - need to know what the implications are of that for income drawdown.

More later I want to catch up with everyone else first

themadvix

Hey KC, so glad to see you back and really glad you had a good time in Norfolk - it sounds like it was just the break you needed. Thanks for the cake - it was yummy

Online plan sounds good - it's so easy to get sucked in and then half the day has gone, I know!

Good luck with the pension stuff, it's all very complicated!