Huge mother rant (long sorry)

marmitepotato

Aileth, I really feel for you. My step mum has a lot of the 'symptoms' you describe. Lucky for me she's my step mum so I can ignore her behaviour. What I can't ignore is how she treats my Dad, it makes me want to rage, rant and cry. My Dad will do nothing to help himself ( he's 80), it makes me feel so helpless to see him so miserable......

CRANKY40

http://www.alz.org/dementia/wernicke-korsakoff-syndrome-symptoms.asp

paddy's_mum

Aileth - I feel for you but (at the risk of offending you deeply) I finally understand why for so long you allowed your OH to walk all over you, to the most contemptuous degree.

You've been taught by your mother that to protest just leads to huge amounts of quarrels, distress and fear (as a result of her threats).

You have only two ways out of this. Either you all stand up to her and refuse to be bullied, intimidated and threatened any longer or you bow your heads and keep on being victims.

How are you going to handle your mother if you have children and she wishes to babysit them while intoxicated or while screaming at family members or in the process of clearing off to hotels for a night of sulking (and panicking those who love her)?

NB NOw there's a thought - do you still actually love her?

securityguy

paddy's_mum wrote: »

You have only two ways out of this. Either you all stand up to her and refuse to be bullied, intimidated and threatened any longer or you bow your heads and keep on being victims.

Actually, there's a third, and much easier, solution. Walk away. Have nothing to do with her. Ignore her calls. Ignore her texts. Let her get on with it. Yes, it sounds like she has a lot of problems. But they aren't your problem. You're not responsible. You're more important. You can just walk away.

meritaten

aileth - can I ask if your mother is menopausal? I really don't want to get into the Mental health aspect unless it is clearly NOT medical? Some women do go completely 'off the rails' during the menopause and her drinking will exacerbate that.

aileth

meritaten wrote: »

aileth - can I ask if your mother is menopausal? I really don't want to get into the Mental health aspect unless it is clearly NOT medical? Some women do go completely 'off the rails' during the menopause and her drinking will exacerbate that.

No, no she went through her menopause years ago!

meritaten

ok, just a thought. early dementia? Has your dad seen his GP - because he is under a hell of a lot of stress? makes things easier if they both have the same GP under these circumstances. because frankly aileth, your saying she has changed to a completely person only in the last 7 years or so worries me that there may be a medical cause - she really does need a good thorough checkup! if she gets the all clear then look at Mental Health issues - but I am sure the drinking isn't helping! and DONT buy it for her even if she does 'kick off'! its called 'enabling'.

meritaten

Aileth? What was she like before? when you were growing up I mean? I am not just asking out of curiosity, something is nagging at the back of my mind.
describe her personality to me? in her pre- 7 years ago days?

Oh and when did the menopause finish?

aileth

When I was growing up she barely drank, was lovely, thoughtful, always did all the housework, conscientious, I don't have any bad memories of her and can say she is a shadow of what I remember her.

Not sure when menopause ended

ERICS_MUM

CRANKY40 wrote: »

http://www.alz.org/dementia/wernicke-korsakoff-syndrome-symptoms.asp

you beat me to it, I was wondering how to word a post suggesting dementia without causing offence or upset the OP. It might be more a physical problem than a mental condition.

OP, would it be possible for your Mum's GP to make an "unannounced" home visit ? Mind you, if Mum refuses to follow any treatment it could be a waste of time.

I really feel for you and your Dad - you are giving him a lot of support and I'm sure he's grateful for your "life line".

Best wishes for the future

EM xx