Huge mother rant (long sorry)

paulineb_2

How long has this been going on? And to be honest, a lot of people who do have mental health issues, if she went to the GP, she might be able to convince them shes ok, its a very very tough one indeed.

If its been years, its not a temporary blip. I have to run, am going out, I really think you and your family need to have a think about getting some family counselling, with or without your mum, you cant go on like this.

sexylulubelle

I feel so terrible for you....... this is your mother and she really doesn't treat anyone very nicely....... would not want to be around a person like that........... let alone a family member.......

Your comment about her memory loss has made me think of a few volunteers I have..... who are in a home( for peo-ple who specifically have issues/disabilities related to alcohol abuse..... by this i mean years and years of excessive alcohol consumption.... this in turn has caused short term memory loss in a number of them...... obviously not saying that alcohol is the definite cause of your mums memory loss but it certainly could have a part to play..... unfortunately she refuses to see a doctor... so there is no way of knowing for sure..... All I can say is continue being a support to your father and sister...... I wish you all the best....

aileth

securityguy wrote: »

How so? Surely if you live 60 miles away, all you need to do is stop answering her phone calls?

Lets just say that it's a very easy cheap train ride between, and after the main event I spent each day after work wondering if she would be waiting outside our house whilst getting bombarded via every form of communication with added lines of threatening to end it all.

aileth

sexylulubelle wrote: »

I feel so terrible for you....... this is your mother and she really doesn't treat anyone very nicely....... would not want to be around a person like that........... let alone a family member.......

Your comment about her memory loss has made me think of a few volunteers I have..... who are in a home( for peo-ple who specifically have issues/disabilities related to alcohol abuse..... by this i mean years and years of excessive alcohol consumption.... this in turn has caused short term memory loss in a number of them...... obviously not saying that alcohol is the definite cause of your mums memory loss but it certainly could have a part to play..... unfortunately she refuses to see a doctor... so there is no way of knowing for sure..... All I can say is continue being a support to your father and sister...... I wish you all the best....

Thanks lulubelle. Alcohol related memory issues was actually what we thought rather than an actual condition or the like.

RAS

There are contacts for three support groups for familes of alcohlics listed here http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/alcohol/Pages/Alcoholsupport.aspx.

I suspect your three could really do with help from them, not least to as those involved will have experience to share and support you.

HPoirot

Gosh if i were your dad i would have got into the habit of slipping her a few sleeping pills now and again, i'm afraid to say. What an awful life it must be for him and you all. But i can't help feeling she blows up because she knows she can get away with it? I think your dad needs all the help and support he can get in order not to be such a walkover. Your mum has no respect for anyone least of all your dad at the moment, why is the muslim fella so important to her, maybe because she cant dictate to him and it's the other way round. How awful for your dad, but if i were you i would encourage him to stop enabling her and grow a steel core. Easier said than done i know.

Errata

1. Only idiots diagnose narcissism on the word of a third party on the internet.
2. Memory problems may be insignificant, she works 20 hours a week so they can't be that serious and any memory lapses may be normal for someone of her age - ever walked into the kitchen and stood there trying to remember what you want in for?
3. "we've all just been letting it pass over our heads as it means an easy life" - why not keep doing that if it gives you all an easy life?
4. Tell her good Muslims don't drink!
5. Talk to Al-Anon.

Own_My_Own

You have my sympathy and understanding.
I haven't spoken to my mother for over a year because of her drinking. My Dad left her 14 years ago and she used me as her crutch. I couldn't go to the shop for milk without taking her because if she found out I went without her she would blow up.

In some ways it was easier for me to break contact as I had no ties to the house bar her. I found the whole thing very straining. It was as if I was living a lie for all those years. People asked how she was and I would say fine, when I really wanted to scream,she is drunk again, she always drunk !
And it is sadly true that is is a very hard situation to escape from.

Although I have been there I really have no answers. I just stopped contact completely.

But if you ever want to moan to someone who has been there feel free to pm me.

pebbles88

Errata wrote: »

1. Only idiots diagnose narcissism on the word of a third party on the internet.

I gather that's aimed at me?
Judged on one comment- charming

:cool:

Op: I hope I didn't say anything that upset you, it truly wasn't my intention, as I said in my post.

I've commented only on what you had wrote, & it was similar to what I've gone through. Uncannily so.

However I don't wish to irk nor offend anyone with my comments, so I'll bow out.

Best wishes to you, just don't forget to look after yourself as well.

Xx

aileth

Pebbles you did not offend me in the slightest and have found your comments and contribution very helpful x