toddler son 'attacking' baby sister!

greenbee

When my niece was born, I started taking my 13-month old nephew out on a weekly basis. He loved having time just with me, and it meant that mum & dad got time with the new baby without worrying about him being jealous (or maybe they just took the opportunity to sleep ). I also took my niece regularly for SIL while my nephew was at nursery so she got some time on her own.

Now I tend to have them both together, but I do try to have some 1-2-1 time with each of them and help their parents to be able to get 1-2-1 time with each as well - their personalities are very different separately and together, and they seem to like each other more after some time apart (although my nephew did ask whether he could trade his sister in for a new one the other day - he's only three!)

mcja

Good luck. We used a travel cot as a playpen for eldest/safe place for baby so I could get things done, like cook tea.

I will never forget being on the phone, turning round and seeing my ds stamping on his 6mo sisters back. He's a darling to her now though.

Lots of time, TLC, contined routine, and grown up jobs helped for us.

meritaten

sorry hun - but I think your strong reaction is exactly what he is looking for! YOU may think he couldn't possibly want to be smacked or shouted at - but, to him its preferable to being ignored. Naturally, you are very protective of the baby - but your toddler is seeing it as you 'prefer' her.

I would reign in the temper hun - and realise he needs some attention off you. He is hardly more than a baby himself and needs HELP to deal with his jealousy issues - not you heaping more coals on the fire!
Bite your lip and take him on your lap and start tickling him, sing his favourite songs to him, give him some love and attention! ESPECIALLY if he is being mean to her! it ISNT a reward for bad behaviour - its you recognising the signals he is putting out that he is feeling neglected and jealous.

swingaloo

[
Bite your lip and take him on your lap and start tickling him, sing his favourite songs to him, give him some love and attention! ESPECIALLY if he is being mean to her!

I would have thought that from that response he will read-

If I'm mean to the baby mummy will pay me more attention.

Person_one

swingaloo wrote: »

[
Bite your lip and take him on your lap and start tickling him, sing his favourite songs to him, give him some love and attention! ESPECIALLY if he is being mean to her!

I would have thought that from that response he will read-

If I'm mean to the baby mummy will pay me more attention.

That's the message he's already getting, any attention is better than none to a developing toddler even if its shouting.

meritaten

swingaloo wrote: »

[
Bite your lip and take him on your lap and start tickling him, sing his favourite songs to him, give him some love and attention! ESPECIALLY if he is being mean to her!

I would have thought that from that response he will read-

If I'm mean to the baby mummy will pay me more attention.

No - because mummy will be doing this anyway when he is good too! or at least I hope she is!
He is TWO years old! Toddlers do not reason the way adults do.

marisco_2

My eldest was nearly 3 when his brother came along. He was not at all happy about this new little person coming into our lives, and behaved very similarly to the way your son is now. I had to watch his every move. Giving no other reaction than a firm 'no', and placing him in his room to calm down with no toys, soon sent the message home to him that being aggressive was not acceptable. Plenty of 1:1 time when baby slept helped restore harmony too. It is not an easy time you are going through right now, but bare in mind that this will just be a phase. At 11 my son is now very protective of his younger brother.

themull1

say NO and put him in a playpen. Tell him when he can be nice to his sister, you will let him out. He's old enough to learn.