The Adventures of a Debt Defying Diva

sassychick2014

Morning!

Sounds like you're still doing great and 3 bottles of £16 for £14 is fantastic! Can't see the problem in that. It's not just about not spending it's about saving on the things you want/need too. I think! Lol

I'm glad everything has gone as best as it could with the funeral and also your mum. Just having her admit she's not as young as she was is bound to be a weight off your shoulders. I'm also really envious you managed to keep under your food budget. This month's budget has been totally blown out of the water for me and I can only assume I did so well last month because I had extra stuff in the cupboards from Dec/Christmas? Here's to a better March!

Have a great day x

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks Sassy as always x.

Well I had another light bulb moment, yesterday, after reading a diary. I realise that RB should really stand for rubber band.

I have been following a pattern, for about ten years, of oscillating between 11 stone, no credit cards/O/D or NEXT card, drinking and eating under control, at one end of the band ........ 12.5 stone, approximately £2,000.00 of combined debts and alcohol consumption beginning to cause concern, at the other end of the continuum. It takes me about a year to move from one extreme to the other and I am at my turning point, south pole, location at this present moment in time.

You could change your clocks, by the regularity of my pattern, and I have only just sussed this out!!!

I have to change my mind-set and that is a bit scary. My clothes are all too big now and that is the point where I could start to move back in to them, which would save me buying a whole new wardrobe.... My overdraft is still empty, my NEXT card can easily be re-activated, I have three fantastic bottles of wine sitting in my kitchen. This is when the 'good' times start to roll again, usually, but it is time for a new adventure and this lady is not for turning.

Any suggestions for breaking out of this pattern would be gratefully received x.

sassychick2014

Morning

The fact you've recognised you have a pattern is a huge step in the right direction. Have you found what the pointers are that make you step towards the dark side?

The way you've worded it makes me think that you're doing well then you spend £2000 on food and wine & put on weight but I'm sure that's not what you're saying - that's some blow out if it is haha.

Now that you've got specific targets and limits set I'm sure that if you start to stray off them you'll notice quicker. My suggestions for today though are:

1) store the clothes you don't wear away and slowly replace the ones you do wear often from items you can pick up in sales/ebay/etc in the new size. I'll bet you'll replace them sooner than you think. Set a date for 6 months time to take another look at your stored clothes and charity shop/ebay the ones that you definitely haven't missed. Put the others away again for another six months and continue this until all they've all gone. This will make you feel better straight away as you won't have anything to look at to tempt you back!

2) Close your Next card account. Do not reactivate. Do not pass Go. Chop up and forget you ever had it!

3) You have 3 lovely bottles of wine but they are for your next 3 date nights. If you drink them before then you are not allowed to replace them and so will have to go without. I'm sure you'll be fine. If you get tempted pop on here and read diaries for 20 mins or until longing goes.

Hope that helps, you know you can stay away from the debt and we have faith in you that you can.

Good luck! x

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks Sassy, that is really helpful.

The way you read my post, is the way I meant it, and it is an example of my dysfunctional thinking, though I would not necessarily do it in a oner.

I have been working hard, since September 2013, to lose 14lb, get out of debt, get my cholesterol below 5, my blood pressure down and my alcohol consumption firmly under control, and I have achieved this. At a subconscious level now, I feel that I can let my foot off the brake and reward myself with the bad behaviour that I have been avoiding.

The reality is that where I am now has to be my new North Pole, and my South Pole needs to be:-

144 pounds in weight
£500 minimum in an emergency fund
alcohol consumption at no more than 5 moderate drinking days a month
Money regularly going in to saving pots for future needs/wants.

This feels like even more work, when the rebellious side of me is screaming, "time for a splurge and a holiday".

However, I am in awe of so many DFW's who manage to keep up debt busting and weight reduction for the long term, so I am going to carry on, and try to figure out what their secret is?

I will set your clothing suggestions as a key goal for March. It is not the way that I would have done it, but I think it would work.

Thanks again. It is really good getting a fresh pair of eyes on things xx.

in_need_of_direction

Sounds as though you're like me and reward yourself for being good by shopping and eating. We both need to get that it's no reward but actually the creation of a burden that will cause us so much grief.

sassychick2014

If you think you have dysfunctional thinking and I understood what you meant does that mean I have dysfunctional thinking too!? lol

Rather than look at your challenges as hard work why not set yourself little rewards? We do it with our kids so why not with ourselves? For instance, the shop near here had some Galaxy bars on special offer so I bought one today and will allow myself to eat it when I have achieved a healthy week of dinners - so on target for this week!

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks INOD and Sassy! I think you both have me sussed. I know that I actually enjoy things, even more, if I have saved for them or just have them occasionally, so little rewards, that I have earned, that are not necessarily food, shopping, alcohol or holiday related (to break the link in my mind) (what is left?) sounds like a good plan.

I actually love hiking and visiting museums to attend lectures, both of which are free and plentiful around here, so I think that I'll plan to do that a couple of times, each month, to reward myself in the short term.

For the longer term, I am going to institute a savings plan, in March, for a planned girlie weekend in September.

I am seeing the Vascular Surgeon today. I mentioned on INOD's diary that I have not had great health over the last few years. I have had a strange illness that was misdiagnosed, but consisted of ferocious headaches and periods of disorientation and hospitalisation. In the summer of 2013, it came to an ugly head. I was sitting in the garden, enjoying a BBQ, with a glass of wine in my hand, when suddenly, I felt like I had been hit by a baseball bat, my temperature went sky high and I quickly fell into an unconscious state and DH called an ambulance.

This time, I was given what appeared to be every test and scan known to man and when I emerged from hospital, a week later, it was with a diagnosis of auto immune encephalitis and vascular disease. My doctor says I need to keep really fit, with plenty of cardio vascular exercise, avoid stress, eat a low cholesterol diet, and drink lots of fluid (only limited amounts of alcohol though). The vascular surgeon has prescribed statins and aspirin and monitoring me for signs of progression. My carotid artery seems to be the one he is particularly concerned with.

I used to put everyone else's health and happiness first, but this illness has taught me that at times I have been completely on my own in a very strange world, and that I have to look out for myself too, and do everything I can to minimise the chances of reoccurrence.

At the moment everything seems to be in remission and I am eminently grateful for that, I just can't be complacent, or go backwards. Onwards and upwards x.

sassychick2014

Morning

Ok, so I had to google your diagnosis and I think I get what it is now. Sounds dreadful though so I'm so happy for you that you're in remission. You're obviously doing something right so keep going.

It's rubbishy though isn't it that sometimes it takes something like an illness to make us realise we're not looking after ourselves and our needs as well as we should.

With regards to the museum trips. I'm so jealous they're free! Ours cost a fortune to go although they do a ticket for a pound which lets you in for the last hour. We've done that a few times as an hour is all an kiddie needs in a museum.... "Muuuuum, why can't we go shopping & buy shoooooeeeees?"

Good luck at your appointment with the Vascular Surgeon today xx

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks Sassy, the surgeon will not stick a stent in the artery because of the risk of severe complications, though he said that if I lived in America, I would be getting the procedure. I am not really sure what he meant by that? I am getting another MRI scan in six months time to see if things have stabilised.

I am more determined than ever, to really care for my body and mind, it has to be a top priority at all times.

Work was sh*tty. My jobs-worth supervisor, would not let me go for a tea break, because I was leaving a bit early for my appointment. I told her I thought she was being a bit mean, as I had finished my work. This did not go down very well and she gave me a lecture, in front of people, to which I accused her of unprofessional behaviour. I really should have kept my mouth shut, but sometimes my tongue bleeds, I have to bite it so hard when she is around, and this time I just couldn't stop myself .....

When I get this lot of goals sorted I am going to get myself one proper job x.

RainbowBridgeReturns

Morning World and TGIF! I can't say I am sorry to see the back of February, but grateful that I am still around to see the beginning of March.

I have a good feeling about March ...

A quick summary to conclude this month:-

NSD - I lost count, but there were not many. I tended to do a lot of cheap, small shops, this month, but overall my spending was pretty tightly under control.

AFD's ended up at 22, which meant that I drank on six occasions and all of those were moderately. It was a stressful month and I thought about drinking a h*ll of a lot more, but fortunately I am not measuring thoughts!

Grocery budget ended up on plan, which was helped by a well stocked freezer at the end of January, which is now empty.

I ended up going to the gym 6 times and on to my exercise bike once, which was well down on January, and I really should have been giving this priority, but I did not. I have already marked in my gym and cycling days for March and I will not schedule over them.

House decluttering never really got off the ground. I will try again in March.

My £7.00 a day challenge was a big success, with a total of £494.00 being achieved. Unfortunately this was all swallowed up sorting mum's utility non payments out and paying for her flight up here, but we have applied for attendance allowance for mum and she has agreed to more careful monitoring of her accounts, so there is some progress here.

As for the £5.00 for the food bank, I have it in my purse, but I have decided to buy some ice creams and sweets, for a bunch of five, young kids who live nearby and some daffodils for there mum, because they make me smile and they've been having a hard time lately. I also have a DVD for them which I think they will enjoy, so I might jump on the couch with the lot of them and watch it with them, early evening.

Overall I am still debt free, with a very small float. I have not put on any weight and I am feeling really positive about March.

Onwards and Upwards x.