The Adventures of a Debt Defying Diva

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks INOD and Busymumofthreeplusdog.

Yesterday was another stressful day. I posted on the MSE retirement thread, and got really informative, thought provoking replies about mum's situation, but it brought home to me how unsustainable it was, and that action was required to tackle the bigger picture, rather than just throwing money at what would potentially become a bucket with a hole in it.

This diary has become a real eye-opener in identifying why my income could not meet my expenditure and the four main culprits are:

Spending on mum - Currently at £370.00 this month.
Spending on aunt - Averaged £60.00 a month minimum.
Miscellaneous spending on lunches/treats/takeaways for DS/DH and I - Averaged £200.00 a month.
Average grocery spend about £200.00 more than I really needed to spend if I planned properly.

When I look at that lot above, it is actually a miracle, that I am not currently in debt, but it also highlights the areas that I need to keep the focus on, if I want to move into a position of control.

RainbowBridgeReturns

Another stressful day, yesterday, culminating in an aggressive handwritten note on my windscreen advising me that my details had been passed on to the police for parking in a taxi rank. I have posted on the parking thread to see what the likely consequences are there.

I have decided just to keep going though, there is nothing much else for it, and things will surely turn in my favour soon. I am prioritising a chilling session at the gym tonight and a Body Balance class, and I am going to make an effort to look my best today.

I have done quite a number of mystery shops, over the weekend, so that total is ticking along nicely at £189.00.

The show must go on!

sassychick2014

Morning hon

Wow! You've had an up and down few days haven't you! It was always going to be tough but with other people not taking all the situation in properly it's not helpful!

I saw your comment about equity release and obviously this is an entirely personal decision but I thought I'd mention that my grandmother did this and the interest repayments are ridiculous! She pays quite a hefty amount back each month and if we could turn back the clock and stop her doing it we would. If you do decide to go down that route make sure you look at all angles - although I'm sure you will!

Hope this week is a bit easier for you xx

in_need_of_direction

I've a friend in financial services. She reckons equity release could be the next big mis selling scandal!

ScarlettMcCain

Hi Rainbow, I've just found your diary today; thought I would say how inspiring it's been and how well I think you've done! :j

Now I must go and think of some equally inspiring aims of my own.....!

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks Rubyslippers77 et al, I dare not read back anything that I post, especially when it's been a bit of a rant, but the diary is helping me, and unlikely to permanently endanger anybody who stumbles across it so I am going to stick with it!

Equity release is getting a resounding thumbs down from everybody, so we will not be taking that route with mum. There were some very helpful suggestions on the thread though, so an action plan is being formulated now, that should address the issues we are having with dear mum.

I was starting to feel very sorry for myself yesterday. We are a close family, especially on my mother's side, but we can be a bit mouthy and tempestuous. All mum's generation are now over 75 and Uncle is the first one to die, but the other elderly relatives are all in various states of physical and mental disrepair and require a lot of love and support, and attention, which has taken its toll on us all over the last couple of years.

I was going through a 'why me' phase, but I bet if I straw polled 100 women around the age of 50, caring for elderly parents and relatives in one format or another would be a major factor in where their resources are going, both physically, mentally and financially. It isn't just me.

It is a fact of life and I am very fortunate that all these wonderful characters have made it to a ripe old age and they deserve to feel cherished until their due time, however curmudgeonly they become !!

I did 20 minutes on the exercise bike yesterday, a body balance class, and then had a major chill at the spa area, it was bliss! I cannot afford to neglect these sessions as my body and mind needs me to listen to it's warning signs and they were ringing loud and clear over the weekend. I am too old to get away with jumping red lights!

On that note, it looks like the windscreen rant was an empty threat and I will not get a parking fine, which is another £70.00 I don't have to find !! I knew things would have to get better.

The boards on here are great. A wonderful, free resource, full of amazing peeps, who are willing to help strangers. There may be hope for the future of the human race!

RainbowBridgeReturns

Morning world,

I popped in to see dear auntie yesterday and she was very upset because nobody wanted to visit uncle. I was a bit confused, at first, but it turned out that uncle was lying in state, at the local funeral parlour, and nobody could bring themselves to see him.

Both her DS and I said that we would rather not go, but she insisted that he needed company.

We looked at each other, in a bemused manner, and knew that we were going to have to take one for the team.

I was really glad that aunt didn't come with us. We were ushered into a large, darkened room with eerie music playing. A man was lying in a coffin surrounded by white satin, he was as white as the material, wearing a very grim expression and didn't look a bit like dear uncle, who, right up to his death, had a ruddy complexion and a permanent smile on his face.

Dear cousin commented that the whole thing was freaky and like a scene from the Munsters and we were out of the room in under a minute.

Dear cousin polished off a huge glass on whiskey, back at aunties, but I was driving. On the way home I stopped at a supermarket and surveyed the wines. I knew that if I had any more wine that I would miss my AFD target, for this month, of 24 days, but I couldn't get dear uncle, lying there, out of my head.

I realised there were 5 different sizes of wine bottles, ranging from the huge bottles of hock right down to these teeny bottles that would not even fill a small glass. I compromised and chose one of the latter.

On getting home I downed the lot in one mouthful, fell asleep for a few hours and woke up thinking about the Munsters and feeling very low. Then I gave myself a good talking too. Uncle was a performer, I loved the Munsters when I was young, it was essential Saturday morning viewing. I determined to turn the bad image into a good one and watched the theme tune from the show on You Tube and a number of clips, which made me laugh.

Dear uncle somehow saw the funny side of everything, and by the end of the day, I was taking a leaf out of his book.

I am now over my original target for the £7.00 a day challenge and I have some paid training today which should net me another £70.00 extra, so I am hanging in here.

Onwards and upwards!

in_need_of_direction

You're doing really well sticking pretty much to your challenges with so much going on. Isn't it funny how older people deal with death? In ni quite often bodies don't go to funeral parlours but rather home. This happened when my father died and my mother was adamant that he couldn't be left alone in the sitting room. Thankfully, my brother took one for the team and slept on the sofa at night. Much as I loved my dad, there was no way I was spending the night in a room with a corpse!

ScarlettMcCain

Well done on turning an unpleasant experience into a good memory of your uncle, Rainbow! The Munsters thing sounds like an inspiration - and it all ties in with happy family memories

Your gym sounds amazing! Mine is very basic - no classes, just weights and machines - but it's 24 hour which is handy (not that I ever go at 3am, you understand!). We do have a Virgin not far away but it's mega money, and the posh one which my work has a corporate deal with is too far away for me to be worth it. If I can't get my !!!! into gear often enough to go to one 5 minutes away, one the best part of an hour away has no hope.....

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks for sharing your story INOD, your poor brother, what a saint!

Hello Ruby, I find that I have to deal with things as they arise, resolve them in some format, to my satisfaction, and then move on, otherwise I get a build-up of stress, which does no-one any good.

I am beginning to get quite creative and find that if everything else fails, laughter is the best medicine, however inappropriate it may seem! Writing the problem out, also seems to release it in some format.

That basic gym will get you toned and zoned, just as well as the posh one does, without all the distractions that I have to contend with.

I am fortunate because the gorgeous gym and spa is nearby and I do have corporate membership. It is attached to a five star 'Handpicked' hotel, in a country estate and the views from the pool are beautiful. It is like a 'zen' paradise. I may be being a bit "fur coat and no knickers', but it works for me!

The whole clan are working there way up to Scotland today, in preparation for the funeral, so watch out world!