The Adventures of a Debt Defying Diva

sassychick2014

I think that's the best thing you can do - create lovely memories for children. It's lovely that you look back on your childhood and it's full of them. Good luck with your aunt & uncle, they sound like fabulous people xx

RainbowBridgeReturns

Dear uncle died on Tuesday night, and yesterday was a very trying day as we finalised the funeral arrangements that were loosely in place.

Dear aunt's son is now with her until the funeral, a week on Friday, so I will take a back seat and re-charge my batteries. In the end it was a peaceful parting, at his own home, with aunt by his side and lots of support, so I feel very grateful for that.

On a debt free front, things are not going so well. I phoned mum yesterday, who is aunt's sister, and she has got herself into a pickle with money again. She has run up a big phone bill, and not paid her gas and electricity bill. She has had the money but I am not quite sure where it has gone. Mum lives near London, and has a mild form of dementia, but is very independent. I am fortunate that my two sister's live near her and are very caring, as mum can be very tricky to deal with!

I was chatting to one of my sister's yesterday, and between us we are clearing mum's bills and paying for her flight up to the funeral, so that will cost me another £260.00 this month. I am determined to be debt free still at the end of this month, with some savings, so once again I will have to play with the plan and keep focused.

I am not going to give up x.

in_need_of_direction

Poor you, it never rains but it pours but you're quite right to take time to recharge. Apart from your own well being, you're no use to anyone if you aren't at your best. Thinking about you. Take care

sassychick2014

Oh hon, sorry to hear about your uncle but at least it was peaceful. I agree you need to recharge your batteries so take that well earned rest. Look after yourself x

RainbowBridgeReturns

I had a really good cry yesterday, while listening to all the songs that are going to be played at the funeral. Uncle was a semi-professional opera singer, among other things, and the funeral is to be a celebration of his life.

He will get piped in by a friend in full highland regalia, and his favourite songs will form part of the service. Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World', Karen Carpenter's 'Sing' and a recorded version of him singing, 'The Flower Song' by Carmen at the Usher hall, which is incredibly moving.

I am proud to have known him. He always thought life and people were essentially beautiful and saw the best in every situation, so I am going to treasure that legacy.

It is the 14th February 2014, half-way through February already. I thought that this month was a complete write-off goal wise, but it is actually just about salvageable, and that is the approach that I am going to take.

Original Goals:-

STICK to February budget religiously – Done except for expenditure on mum which is £260.00 over.

Action: Speak to my sisters about a better way of monitoring things and come up with a plan.

Only drink on a Saturday night – 4 times in February - I have drunk four times this month already, but never more than two glasses of wine, which I think is quite a result, considering everything.

Action: To keep on the safe side, and stick to my AFD’s. I am going to aim not to drink again this month. There will be a lot of alcohol about at the funeral and with relatives staying, visiting, the wine/whiskey will be flowing. I am going to be driving everybody about, so I aim to keep completely dry, and will continue to track here.

Exercise at the gym 3 times a week/ Cycle 150 km on my exercise bike – I am falling behind here, I have just been to the gym 3 times, when I should be at 6 by now and I have not been on my bike yet.

Action: Try and get on my exercise bike or to the gym or go on a long walk 12/14 days remaining. This will keep my stress levels in check.

Average 1300 calories a day food intake – Done – Sticking to food plan 90% of the time with just a couple of blips. Keep it up.

Declutter the house - one room a week, starting kitchen – The house is a tip, but visitors coming next week will spur me on to catch up here.

Earn £7.00 a day on the £10.00 a day challenge - £132/£210 – 63% - Lots in the pipeline so looking good.

I have worked out that if I increase my target on the £10.00 a day challenge from £210 to £500 and stick to the rest of my budget, then I will be able to absorb the overspend on mum, and have a bit extra for visitor expenses. So that is the new goal.

Overall, a rotten start to the month, but I could still finish on top, if I keep focused and positive, and I am going to!

in_need_of_direction

Glad to hear you can still be upbeat.

RainbowBridgeReturns

Thanks INOD, upbeat is not a phrase I would have used to describe myself today. I have been swearing like a fish wife! I have a number of relatives flying up to Scotland for the funeral, and I have become embroiled with helping to find suitable accommodation and transport.

One of my sisters is struggling financially, at the moment, so I thought I was doing my sisters a favour by organising for them to stay at a friend's vacant flat, near me, which would have been free of charge, and mum was to stay with me.

Mum did that fatal thing, passing on to me some really snide comments my sisters had made about the flat, which were uncalled for, in my opinion, but which were never intended for my ears. I was seething all day, although I should have just let it go, and I normally would have.

My sisters then phoned saying that they had made alternative arrangements staying at a hotel, right in the centre of the city, the opposite direction to my house from the airport, and were expecting me to drop them off, pick them up for the funeral etc, etc, knowing it would be extremely inconvenient as I was to have mum and be part of the funeral procession. When I pointed this out and relayed to them the comments mum had made, it did not go down too well !!

I am fed up of trying to keep everyone happy and getting grief. I would normally have kept my mouth buttoned, but the week has been a very long one.

I think we have all made up, my sister said what I needed was a bottle of wine and that I cared too much about people, and that they would sort themselves out, before proceeding to make even more demands. AAAAAAggghhhhh.

I had no wine, but I bought and drank a whole bottle of purple, pomegranate juice, which seemed to do the trick.

I am going to concentrate on my health and well being for the next few days and keep away from the phone. The world survives quite happily without me, so this shop is closed for business.

Tomorrow is another day and today I did manage to earn another £17.00 towards my £10.00 a day (£500.00 extra) in February challenge.

I felt better getting that lot out x.

RainbowBridgeReturns

Morning world,

I have woken up to a really nice e-mail from my sisters. They are now staying in a hotel which is much more convenient for everything and the day is no-longer looking like a logistical nightmare. I am glad that I said my piece.

I will just focus on mum and have passed responsibility for dad and my step-mother over to dad's brother, who lives locally. RESULT! Everyone else is now sorted too.

I have also looked into some phone and electricity/gas options for mum. EE have broadband and phone contracts with unlimited everything including 0845 numbers, for about £20.00 a month less than what mum is paying. I am assured it is virtually impossible to run up a large bill, unless mum was to be phoning up gambling or p**n sites. I am not keen on the word 'virtually' though, so will investigate further, incase she accidentally rang one of these numbers. I am sure there must be call barring facilities that can be installed.

I also discussed with my sisters the possibility of equity release for mum. She has minimal income, but her property is paid for and worth £250,000.00. We decided to see how changing bills works (if mum will allow us to help her here) and then discuss it with mum as an option next time a financial bail out becomes necessary. I am going to post on the MSE retirement thread for some advice on this matter.

Saturday is Diva day. DS has a CAD (computer aided drawing) course to attend today in Fife, so I will fit in four mystery shops while waiting for him. I am going to paint my nails, pluck my eyebrows, cycle for half an hour on the exercise bike, and enjoy a date night with DH tonight, without the wine! Sirloin steak, stuffed mushrooms and vegetables are on the menu.

Onwards and Upwards x.

in_need_of_direction

Sounds like a plan. Whatever might happen over the course of the day, if you can stay focused on your date night plans, it won't bother you so much. Take care

Busymumofthreeplusdog

Date night.....
We used to do that when kids were smaller and would go to bed at reasonable time. Think I will reinstate this and banish them to their rooms!

Thanks for the reminder as we all need to remember to look after ourselves and OHs from time to time.

Big hugs to Rainbowbridgereturns